u/Klutzy_Oil3757

Alright Reddit, buckle up because this one is messy.

So a while back, I (27F) went on a first date with this girl, let’s call her Lily. We went to a well-known pub in our area — cute, cosy, good vibes, the whole thing felt like it was going too well in that “is this a trap?” kind of way.

Mid-date, I get a text from my friend — we’ll call her Cara.

She sends:

“What’s silver and black?”

I’m staring at my phone like an idiot. Lily leans over and goes, “Your car?”

And suddenly I’m thinking my car’s been stolen, keyed, set on fire, whatever.

So I go outside.

Car’s fine.

Not a scratch.

I go back in.

Then Cara sends me a photo of my car.

Taken RIGHT NOW.

From SOMEWHERE NEARBY.

So now I’m outside again, looking around like I’m in a budget horror film. No one’s there. No Cara. No boyfriend. No nothing.

I go back inside, sit down, and tell Lily, “They’re probably just messing about.”

AND THEN —

Like they’d been waiting for their dramatic entrance —

Cara and her boyfriend walk into the pub and sit down RIGHT NEXT TO US.

On. My. First. Date.

They fully inserted themselves into the evening like they were my parents meeting my prom date. I wanted to evaporate. Lily handled it like a saint. I handled it like someone dying inside.

Fast forward 2–4 months.

Me and Lily? Still going strong. Still having a great time. And on one date, I finally ask her to be my girlfriend.

She says yes.

I’m over the moon.

And then my phone starts blowing up.

It’s Cara.

And she is LOSING IT.

Because her boyfriend is away for work and apparently I’m supposed to be her emotional support human. She starts calling me names, accusing me of “abandoning” her, acting like I’ve committed a war crime by being in a relationship.

So I block her. Everywhere. Because I’m not doing that drama.

A few days later, I try to be civil and message her asking if we can talk. She agrees. We meet at a coffee shop.

She tells me she’s upset because “all my time is going to Lily” and I “don’t think of her anymore.”

I explain — calmly — that in 2.5 months I’ve seen Lily maybe nine or ten times, and half of those were because we go to the same gym. I wasn’t ignoring anyone. I was just… dating someone.

She didn’t like that.

She stormed out.

And I haven’t heard from her since.

Lily is convinced Cara was in love with me and didn’t know how to say it, so instead she acted like a jealous ex she never actually was.

Honestly? The behaviour fits.

So Reddit…

AITA for cutting her off? Or was she secretly in love with me and just handled it like a feral raccoon?

good afternoon loviessss… so.. I’m looking for advice AND after watching the queen give it and dish it the way she does I am hoping you all can release that inner CD on me…

I have a friend, well… she my best friend.. we will call her K for this and she has he boyfriend (now fiancée) who we will call M… whom I have also gotten closer too over the years and would class as a close friend..

FONT WORRY GUYS IME LESBIAN, Neither are my type! 🤣

K, 29, and M, 32, were together for three years. They weren’t perfect, but they were a real couple with a real history — the kind of relationship that had seen arguments, laughter, routines, and the kind of comfort that only comes from time. Eventually, though, things stopped working. They drifted, they clashed, and they reached a point where splitting up felt like the only option left.

Even after the breakup, they stayed in contact. Not in a messy, dramatic way — in a genuinely respectful, grown‑up way. Part of that was because of the kids; they both stayed involved, stayed kind, stayed civil. It was one of those rare breakups where you could see the love was still there, even if neither of them knew what to do with it.

During that time apart, (about 1&1/2 years) K started dating again. The first guy (about 6months after the split) didn’t last — she didn’t feel a connection, so she ended it quickly. She decided she couldn’t be bothered anymore and wouldn’t make an effort as she was happy single (proud woman moment!) Then came another man (single life clearly didn’t suit but she stayed single for about 5/6 months). Things moved faster with him, and they ended up sleeping together reggladly. But to her, it wasn’t a relationship, just a moment in her life where she was trying to move on, trying to figure herself out. It lasted about 6 months…

M, was doing the same, he dated a few women, tried to find himself through others and then he met this woman who he thought he loved, infact he had another child with this woman who K treats like her own when they’re visiting.

And then, almost unexpectedly, K and M found their way back to each other. Slowly at first — talking more, softening, remembering what they had. Then properly, fully, choosing to repair their family. I was genuinely proud of both of them. It takes courage to walk away, but it takes even more courage to come back and try again.

But then came the pregnancy.

The dates didn’t line up with M. They lined up with the man in between — the brief, passing connection. I know this. K knows this. We’ve spoken about it, and I’ve gently suggested a DNA test more than once, not to judge her, but because clarity matters. Every time, she shuts the conversation down. And I get it — it’s her life, her relationship, her family. It’s not my place to interfere.

But I can’t shake the feeling. Am I the arsehole for wanting to tell M? For feeling like he deserves to know the truth about something so huge? I’m not trying to cause drama. I’m not trying to break them up. I honestly believe he’s such a good man that he would still stay, still try, still love that child regardless. But he would be doing it with honesty instead of a secret hanging over him.

I know it’s not my story. I know it’s not my decision. But the weight of it sits with me, and I can’t help wondering whether staying silent makes me loyal… or makes me complicit.