rant lang huhu. 2 times na akong in-absent ng cwts prof namin because na-disconnect ako. he locks the meeting after 15-20 minutes so anyone who wants to join after that cannot. so when i get disconnected, di rin ako makajoin ulit. i've tried contacting him pero hindi siya nagrreply. natatakot ako baka sa nstp pa ko bumagsak 😭 kahit kasama ako sa first attendance niya sa start, inaabsent pa rin ako huhu jusko. bakit naman parang feeling major siyaaaa
hi! so i recently bought Adonis kt tape and i've used it twice so far. im able to keep it on naman for at least 5 days but i do get periods of itchiness quite often. i don't think it's an allergy since i don't get any redness or blisters. do you guys have any cheap remedies for this? i heard some people use milk of magnesia or cavilon spray but im just a broke student lol :/
could it also be the tape? i've been looking into other brands but i mostly see Adonis and SKNSTRIP. do you guys have any recommendations for relatively cheap ones that i can wear for a few days minimum? i'd also want to stick to skin toned tape since my skin is pretty sensitive. tyia!
(blurred my phone for privacy reasons)
i just wanted to show my first ever big crochet project !! before this i've only done practice swatches of stitches and a small star.
this is a one panel sweater i made for my girlfriend :D
i've always been intrigued by crochet as someone who loves arts & crafts.
this sweater is nowhere near perfect tho lol but i'm so proud of it hehe. there were so many stitches i skipped and it's heavy because i used the wrong type of yarn. i did my best to crochet it in reference to a normal sweater. and i even steam blocked it :D
i was actually worried if my girlfriend would love it or not because i know it has a lot of mistakes. but she loved it sm and she wears it all the time. she wore it to school today and showed it off to her family, friends, and professors.
i was in a toxic relationship for 10 months last year. it was okay at first but things happened at school. people were spreading rumors about me and it eventually reached my girlfriend. i have always been a very honest person but even when i tried to shut down the rumors, she still believed them. this turned my relationship toxic because we would get into arguments at least twice a week. i was constantly belittled, called names (manipulator, liar, cheater, selfish), and criticized for every mistake. i would split every argument and would end up with lots of cuts. i attempted a few times too.
this went on for 10 months. she would constantly try and break up with me but because of my intense abandonment issues, i would beg her to stay, tell her i'd do better, and love her the way she wants to be loved. and the arguments would always start with a small mistake like if i was a few minutes late to a date, if i don't reply to her messages immediately, or if i couldn't decide a restaurant to eat at.
but even then, i was able to live through that hell. i still came to school sometimes despite the rumors and graduated. my grandmother died shortly after and she tried to leave again just 2 days after. i was so desperate then because i couldn't lose another person i loved so much that i probably have disrespected my grandmother in doing so.
even through every argument, i tried my best to be soft towards her. i tried to treat her the way i wanted to be treated, gently. i would do breathing exercises to keep myself calm and reply to her with the most love i could give. i remained positive about our relationship and was incredibly patient.
just before the relationship ended, i got hospitalized from not eating or drinking for days. i got diagnosed with pdd and bpd. i was given antidepressants and antipsychotics, and i had to stop school. the medicine made my emotions unreachable to me. i became cold and distant. my default emotion became irritable. i constantly criticize others now too. and honestly, i feel like i internalized her constant criticism and embodied it. i started seeing mistakes as failure and not a part of learning.
because of that, i easily get demotivated when things don't go the way i want them too. i get overwhelmed easily. i don't try to bounce back like i did before. i feel so weak and sensitive towards negative things. now that i'm coming back to school, i feel anxious about what would happen if i was faced with a challenge but immediately get demotivated.
it has been 9 months since it ended and whenever i look back on it, i still start shaking and crying from the all the trauma i've experienced. it feels like i'm still reliving it in my memories.
TLDR; a toxic relationship has made me feel so weak and cold now compared to how i was last year. i feel like i'm not myself anymore. i want to be warm, motivated, and gentle again. but how?
i'd love to hear if anyone else has gone through similar experiences as to not feel so alone. and thank you for at least reading my story.