u/Known-Print-9448

Indian 17 F. I was born left-handed, but growing up I was beaten and forced to write with my right hand by teachers and also by some of my relatives. Over time I learned to write right-handed, but it never felt natural.

I’ve tried many times to switch back to using my left hand, but I have a lot of fear and shame attached to it. I know it sounds silly, but I feel as though something bad will happen to my family if I write with my left hand. It ruins my day.

When I’m not paying attention, I naturally do many things with my left hand. I scroll on my phone with my left hand, pick things up with my left hand, and generally seem to default to it. But as soon as I notice, I force myself to switch to my right because I’m scared.

I’m wondering if anyone else here grew up being punished for being left-handed. Have any of you managed to become comfortable using your left hand again? I’d really like to feel free to use the hand that feels natural without feeling guilty or afraid. 🥲🥲

Thank you for reading.

I had an arranged married to my cousin when I was 20 years old. He’s my mum’s brother’s son, an only child. He’s very very pampered and very dear to his parents. We were in love when we married. My mother-in-law was very jealous that we were in love and that he cared for me so deeply. I really don’t know what she was expecting out of this marriage because i don’t understand this kind of jealousy. Fast forward, we now have two children and suddenly there is no relationship between my husband and I. All he ever talks to me about are our kids and his parents and how I should look after them. I studied BSc computer science and I now work as a teacher after a lot of fighting. I live in a small town and my salary is 9,000 thousand. I used to feel independent about this until he deleted phonepay on my phone and installed it on his spare him. Now I need to beg him when I want some money for anything. My kids’ school fee gets deducted from my salary so he doesn’t even have that responsibility. He says he’s frugal because he’s saving for the kids’ future but 1000 rupees for my personal allowance FROM MY SALARY is not going to damage the dream of his. I want my kids to be happy and successful without a doubt but I feel like this is just an excuse for my husband to control me. I was a better student than him and scored way way way higher than him. But he earns more than me thanks to all other certificates he now has. I’m begging him to let me do my B.Ed so I’m more qualified and can get paid more and I can also contribute towards my kids’ future education but he has zero interest is paying for the course. I could pay for it myself if he didn’t take over my money. He wants me to quit my job and look after our kids and learn to sew in the free time and make some money off of that but I have no interest in that at all. Also we live in a small town and there are already so many established tailors, why would they trust a newbie like me with their clothes when I myself don’t have any confidence that I can excel. I speak moderately good English, I’m a fast learner, I want to either grow as a teacher or learn some more about computer related skills and move forward with that.

I feel like I’m not a person anymore, I’m just a wife and a mother. I love my kids more than anything but I want to be more than just a mother. Also my in laws are distancing my kids from me and my kids openly admit to disliking me when i yell at them or don’t allow them to use my phone for hours on end. Please help me in understanding what courses I can do for free online, or how to learn skills related to computer.