u/Kooky-Negotiation-87

Just wanna rant…apologies if my language isn’t polished.

I’m a feminine lesbian, I’ve only dated 2 women, both feminine women, both outside of my race. Each time, I was shoved into the more masculine role/always expected to top/be dominant. Keep in mind…I’m an extremely bubbly black woman, I’m capable of being dominant, but I’ve never been truly allowed to be submissive like I’ve always desired.

My last ex was a fake lesbian. So it makes sense why I was always pushed into this role. It’s been a while, but I’m still so triggered now that I’m dating again - it keeps happening!

I find myself in the same situation dating women in and outside of my race. I’m extremely turned off from women at the first sign they might be doing this to me. I can’t be that for anyone anymore, I can’t be the one constantly taking care of things or taking control. I’m naturally an acts of >!services person, but for once, I really do want to be cherished and cared for. I don’t know how to exactly explain it - I feel masculinized, which is difficult for me as a black feminine woman. It just makes me feel like someone’s mammy. I want to be someone’s woman, I want to be cherished and allowed to be submissive. I’ve had a hard life and for once, I want to fully allow myself to put my guard down and not feel the need to be so high strung.!<

I’m super clear on the apps about what I want sexually (to be topped, for the first time!!!!) but I feel like this goes beyond a sexual dynamic that I can’t quite articulate in a bio. I yearn for a partner who will make me feel safe enough to bring the caregiver out in me - I don’t want an uneven dynamic, I just want to feel like I’m equally being cared for.

Anyone else been in this spot before?

I’ve been watching SVU for a longgg time and have no one to talk about it with.

By the time I got to season 27, it felt a bit like pulling teeth. There’s just too many new people and not enough time given to really know them. Lately, they are all chained to the squad room while having no real chemistry outside of some jokes that sometimes fall flat for me.

I don’t blame any one detective, I think often when they’re 1:1 that there’s something there!

Olivia is my favorite character, but she is not a good Captain compared to Cragen.

She’s great with the victims, but even I started to feel a bit fatigued of her taking the bulk of the cases over. No wonder we never see Noah anymore, she has got to be absolutely buried in paperwork constantly 😭

It also feels like the primary reason we’re not getting to see other detectives grow as characters. Even when it came to Tynan, they just repeated the whole Evil Chief arc. Her suspension wasn’t even long nor did she really seem to be that down and out. It was kind of Olivia Proves She’s The Shit again.

And I love Amanda, but I’m not really seeing the point in her coming back. We barely get Carisi anymore and her sister/gambling was a majority of her arc before the kids. I’m just not sure what direction they can really take Amanda’s character in.

I think it would be so dumb to not bring Stabler back for seasons 29/30. Olivia and Elliot need a chance. I also think Stabler would be a really jarring and difficult presence to have in the squad room. Instead of an Evil Chief arc, we could really get Stabler back and his dynamic with everyone will eventually call Olivia’s position as Captain into question. I don’t really think Stabler is a good cop because of his anger issues….theres so much conflict they could drag out of that 😂 It was the most interesting part of the OC crossovers for me…how far Olivia was willing to go for Stabler even after all of that time and hurt.

My Dream squad room for maximum drama:
- Tutuola, Stabler, Rollins, Bruno, Velasco, Tamin

AND GOD PLEASE SOMEHOW BRING BACK BARBA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭