u/Korikat04

I'm 22, female, and still a virgin. Never kissed, never held hands, never been in any relationship of any sort.

And I know that's "young" in comparison to some on here, but it's old enough that people either don't believe me, or judge me/mock me.

I'm not the prettiest girl. I'm fat (5'3" 156lbs, but actively losing it), but I have a curvy figure at least. I have a big chest (but they're saggy, which ruins it), and a pretty small butt, but bigger hips and a thinner waist. I'm just really not that attractive in terms of my body. My face isn't bad, but I'd definitely be a lot prettier once I lose some more weight... In general, I'm apparently pretty average, and "cute, but not hot," from what I've been told from guy friends.

And I'm definitely more of a tomboy (really short hair, never wear makeup, but I don't dress super masculine for the most part). I know some guys like tomboys because we're low maintenance and tend to have similar hobbies, but that hasn't done me any good in the relationship field. I do have an easier time making friends with guys, but I've never detected any interest directed towards me by any of them.

I wouldn't say I'm super extroverted, but I think am fairly socially competent, outside of anything like flirting. I get a little awkward if a conversation starts to go in that direction. And I'm probably too blunt and unemotional sometimes too...

I don't have high standards for who I find attractive either. My friends have told me I have low standards, even. I'm into nerdy men (I'm talking D&D, LOTR, Star Trek, toy/card collecting, etc), and none of the guys I've had a crush on have been "conventionally attractive." I'd date basically anyone if our interests matched and I found him fun to be around. And I don't care if a guy's a virgin or has had a ton of partners. So my standards are not the issue.

I think my main problem is a lack of opportunity. Currently in online school full-time and I'm unemployed... So I have nowhere to meet anyone except online..which would be fine but dating apps really suck from what I've heard. It's a last resort for me, but I'm just about there. I also live at home and don't drive, which is arguably even more of a problem...it's not fixable at the moment, though. Also, to be frank, I probably look like a lesbian because of my hair, which I'm sure doesn't help. But I look legitimately ugly with long hair, so.....

And I know the stereotype of virgin women is that we're religious prudes with no libido, but I'd say I'm the opposite. I'm 0% religious, I'm not "waiting for marriage/the right person," I'm up to try basically anything (I say that with full confidence, I've got some actually freaky and taboo interests), and I have what I think most would consider a very high libido.

(I don't know what level of detail is allowed on here, so I'm being vague)

This is mostly what's driving me absolutely crazy 😭 I think about it all the time but can't seem to do anything about it. Or maybe I could, but I'm not trying hard enough. I don't even know. Maybe a dating app would be worth it, maybe it'd make things worse. I'm not even necessarily looking to *date*. I'd be totally open to (probably even prefer) something more casual. The long-term relationship horror stories I've heard are absolutely disastrous.

I just don't really know what to do anymore. The older I get, the more worried and ashamed I get, and the more jealous I get of girls who do well with guys. I'd really, really prefer to not die a virgin...

I doubt anyone's actually read this whole thing (I know I made it so long, it's the curse of being an English major, I love to write), but if anyone has, I'd be open to advice or opinions. Otherwise it's just a frustrated vent/rant..

So, as I'm sure we all know, we live in an age where AI is being increasingly used as a cheating mechanism, and obviously this is worse in English classes where most of the assignments involve writing.

I am absolutely terrified of being accused of using AI. I hate it with every fiber of my being, and have never once used chatgpt or any other generative AI tool. And I never will. Not for assignments, not for personal use. Nothing.

But I increasingly see people (especially illiterate people) accuse anyone who can actually write properly of using AI. Of course English professors aren't illiterate and might even have an easier time distinguishing it from true writing, but from what I've read, so many "AI hallmarks" are just...signs of regular writing. Em dashes, certain sentence structures, "it's x not y," and generally just proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar, are seen as AI things.

(I'm very bad at detecting AI, unless it is so obvious that even a boomer could detect it, so this is just what I've picked up while reading various threads.)

And lately, I'm even seeing good writers talk about their teachers or professors assuming they've used AI because of their writing style. I'm so scared of this happening to me, because I do use em dashes, I have good SPAG, my essays sound more "formal," I can use complex sentence structures, etc. I really don't want to get falsely accused, because not only is it extremely offensive to me, but it could endanger me academically.

So how do I escape this? I'm in online school (health issues make in-person too difficult), which makes it even harder, since it's easier for online students to cheat and use AI. My second semester is about to start, but it's my first "proper" semester as an English major (I left Vet Tech for this, so my first semester only involved pre-requisites I didn't need for that degree, but do need for this one), so I will be doing a lot more writing this semester. I think I'd die if I got accused of cheating...

Now, to my main question/the point of this post:

Is it common for English major students to get accused of AI use? Do professors know the difference, even if a few AI quirks are found? Does a Google doc version history count as proof? Should I film the entire researching and writing process just in case? Is there another way to prove I didn't use it? Basically...what do I actually do if I get accused? How do I respond?

Can I prevent it? Should I stop using Em dashes? Should I write less formally? Should I deliberately write badly, or add in SPAG issues? Should I just be extra careful by completely removing anything that might seem AI-like? Is there even anything I can do?

I have a whole host of mental health issues (diagnosed), and this fear of mine is leading to actual paranoia. If this post sounds paranoid, exaggerated, overly-anxious, or just plain ridiculous, I apologize. That's my own issues seeping through. I'd really just like some support and/or advice on this. So, thank you to anyone who can help!

Also, as a short side note, if I've made any writing mistakes in this, I apologize (especially since I claimed to be a good writer). I'm just not proofreading a reddit post.

Tldr: I don't use AI and never will, and I don't want to be falsely accused of using it because I use some em dashes and the like. How can I prevent this, and what do I do if it does happen?

One thing I really, really hate about our child and parent centric society is that whenever a young girl, a CHILD, passes away, one of the main sentiments is "it's so sad that now she'll never be able to get married and have kids."

Like...really?!!? Why does that matter at all?!?! Why does this deceased child's hypothetical future children matter more than her, and her life, and her story???? Why is that what we're focusing on, ever? Hell, why is it mentioned AT ALL?

And the same goes for when a childless woman in her 20s or 30s, or even older, passes away... Everyone makes such a huge deal about how now she'll never be able to have kids...

I mean seriously, this blows my mind. It's so infuriating.

And it's one of the things that really makes me realize that, to society, women and girls are literally nothing more than incubators. That's it. They don't care about us otherwise. Not our hobbies, life experiences, personalities, intelligence, interests, careers, friends, non-kid family members, nothing. None of it matters. They just care about whether or not we have/can have/are planning to have children.

It's so sad and frustrating. I'm so fed up with this world and this society. And it feels like it's just getting worse and worse...

(Slight disclaimer: I'm not actually sure if this is a universal experience, but I've heard these sentiments expressed about friends/family I've lost, on multiple occasions. And I've seen it on plenty of articles, particularly ones with a focus on true crime. Also, I think the "rant" flair is correct, but I apologize if it's not.)

Edit- guys. Yes. I know this comes down to misogyny. I wasn't literally asking why it happens, it was meant to be rhetorical question used to express frustration. That's why it's a rant.