u/Krystali3n

I lost my beloved boy cat, Pickles, yesterday. He was only 10, he got an aggressive form of lymphoma. I tried getting him chemo but it didn't work and I had to let him go. I'm not coping well, I can barely keep it together for 5 minutes. He was (still is) my little shadow and would follow me everywhere. We shared a special bond and I love him with my entire heart and soul.

I decided to pay for a vet to come to my home to help my boy cross the rainbow bridge peacefully. I also ordered a sleeping kitty figure that they'll put his fur clippings in. My bf and I also got his paw prints in clay and made a sweet little trinket with it.

As the vet was expensive, I opted for a communal cremation where they spread his ashes over a beautiful local park. I had the option to receive his ashes in a private cremation, but I opted not to as it was really expensive and I didn't want to risk dropping or breaking the urn.

Now i'm feeling extremely guilty because maybe I should have opted for private, to keep him with me always. He still is with me, but I just want to make sure he knows this is his forever home and I will do anything to find him in the next life. I'm so heartbroken and need support.