The AI revolution has a water problem. Data centers need millions of gallons of water to keep their servers cool, and some companies have apparently decided that the most logical solution is to turn everyone into a human beverage-to-urine conversion machine.
Alright so my ex and I have been split up for about 3 months now, and I've moved out for about 2 months now. While Im so grateful I managed to escape I'm unfortunately dealing with some alarming and escalating behaviours that are becoming a concern for me.
I've posted a bit in here since everything fell apart, and my situation is pretty extreme, atleast in my opinion. I've witnessed my ex hold a blanket over a gas stove with all the burners on infront of not just our kids but one of my kids friends during a meltdown just because I wouldn't fight with her. She's been physical with me many times, I have a lot of videos and recordings of these things I took during times things got out of hand. I've had to call the police more times than I can count on both hands. It was just a mess, we all know how it goes when things progress and you keep going back and trying to make it work, it just gets worse.
Anyways, besides all that, I've been out of the house for a couple months, and things with our divorce proceedings are going painfully slow. During this time, she's attempted to make all sorts of allegations and claims through her lawyer that are demonstrably false. I do get a sense of enjoyment having my lawyer respond to them with actual proof that what she's claiming is an outright lie. There are now multiple accounts of her behaviour that comes from school staff, care providers etc that I have collected and submitted to my lawyer, essentially she is not doing herself any favours, and I'm getting the sense that she's starting to panic a bit, as things are not going her way and she is not able to manipulate the situation now that lawyers are involved and the facts are being presented in a way she can't just have a meltdown over to sway things back into her favour.
Like most people have experienced here, she moved onto another guy a week or so after our 10 year relationship ended. I sincerely hoped that this meant she would make this guy her FP and that the focus on me would diminish a bit, but that unfortunately has not been the case. She's followed me to my new home I tried for a long time to keep secret and took a bunch of photos of me before driving off laughing like a maniac, I involved police and had her formally trespassed after that. Yesterday since I had my kids and it was nice out, I decided to take them to the beach after school. Sure enough while I'm on my way there, I see my ex driving the opposite direction from me back into town, the route you have to take there is pretty specific, so as soon as she saw me I understood she knew exactly where I was going. Sure enough, maybe 5 minutes or so after we got to the beach, she shows up. I already basically expected this, so I didnt even acknowledge her presence although it was pretty unnerving. I just focused on having fun with my kids. I'm pretty sure she hated that, as not long after she got there I can hear her talking to me saying that I need to find another beach, that this was her beach etc. Mind you, we've been going to this beach for about 6 years now. I didn't even respond, because literally what is the point? I do not care, I'm there to have fun with my kids, not fight with someone over who owns a public beach. When this didn't work she started filming me which I assumed was for social media or something like that, saying things like how I didnt have an original idea in my head and how sad it is I came to a beach with my kids we've literally been going to since they were babies. She emailed me a bunch of times about it too.
Since I barely even so much as glanced at her during all of this, she pivoted to basically saying all these things to my kids. Since they're really young, they didnt even understand what exactly she was trying to say, I mean, its barely understandable for me as a grown adult so I dont blame them. It is frustrating though since my son was trying to tell her about a toy I had just gotten him, and she responded by telling him I was bribing him?
I already know the drill, I can't stop her behaviour, and reacting just feeds her, so I just flat out don’t. I know this makes her mad. She has made a point of bringing up her new boyfriend in front of me as many times as possible, which is honestly kind of just pathetic to me now. At the beach yesterday she told the kids 4 or 5 times that he was coming over since I was maybe 8 feet away from her at this point. She even pretended she was on facetime with him and showed my kids her phone, which was blank as far as I could tell, because my kids said "where is he? I can't see him."
I also found out this morning that she's been reported to the school as some other parents called in to inform them that she's been lurking around the school on my weeks with the kids around drop off times causing safety concerns for other parents..
I'm just very concerned. She is not even facing real pressure yet in terms of the separation, I'm legitimately worried she will continue to escalate things as thats the only thing she can do.
At what point does she find a new FP? Why isn't this new guy doing his job? She has spared no opportunity to tell me how much better he is than me, yet despite the fact I give her zero attention and only talk to her over email she insistently finds ways to try and contact me and now has been following me around on multiple occasions. Do they eventually just get bored and try and ruin anyone else's life? Has anyone else experienced things like this?
I’m wondering if anyone can share how they deal with ruminating over an exWBPD even after they take steps to destroy your life after it ends. Not even counting the hellish reality that the relationship was, how my relationship ended was like being in a warzone and I’m lucky I escaped before I suffered serious consequences.
I’ve learned that in the process of trying to address all these traumas that came from the relationship and how it ended, my brain is essentially splitting her into two people. One is the monster and one is the idealized person I tried to make her out to be that kept me in the relationship for so long. The pain of the betrayal and abuse is so intense that to cope my subconscious just does not accept that the person who did all these things to our family is the same person I fell in love with.
It makes me mad that even after all these things and the ongoing abuse that involves my kids, finances, stalking me at my home, smearing me to friends and acquaintances etc. I still struggle with constantly remembering things about her or what it felt like in those brief moments of peace.
It’s kind of a two part problem, there’s this cognitive dissonance around how you see this person in your mind which is frustrating on its own, and then there’s the anger you feel at yourself for the fact that the most intimate and personal relationship you’ve ever had was with a person who has taken every major life moment, every trauma, every insecurity and every vulnerability and used it against you in some way. My kids whom I love more than anything become pawns and are actively subjected to attempts at alienation from me (unsuccessfully thankfully, I have a great relationship with my kids as I’ve always been the safe and primary parent), traumas of my dad and best friend dying suddenly are thrown in my face or she tries to blame me for them in some way, any item that had personal significance to me was destroyed or stolen, being accused of domestic violence when they are the person always laying hands on you and you’ve never lifted a finger against them. The list goes on. It is so hard to accept the person who was supposed to love you the most would do this to you, it’s inhuman and makes me feel embarrassed I gave up so much of myself for her only for this to be the treatment I received.
So why is it so hard? Does anyone have any tips or shared experiences on how you made it better? I know these things take time, my relationship was almost 10 years and it finally ended just a couple months ago so I’m trying to give myself grace but I thought I’d try to see what everyone else’s experience was like.