u/Lady_Whistlegirl91

My mother died a few days ago and now at the age of 34 I have no living parents

My mother recently passed on Wednesday at the age of 75 and we are expected to bury her on Sunday. She recently was in the hospital for a month for severe anemia and an intestinal tumor. It was removed successfully and we all thought she was on the smooth path to recovery. But I guess her cardiac insufficiency flared up as a result of all this physical strain and she just couldn’t take it anymore. My father died in 2019 at 71 due to a bacterial infection. But he was an alcoholic who never took care of his health and had been declining years prior due to this.

What makes her death so hard is that not only is it recent but she was the only parent I had a normal relationship with. My father was a toxic, emotionally abusive person!

I hate the fact that a lot of their health issues suffered over the years had to do with the family dysfunction we lived in. Maybe if my father wasn’t an alcoholic and my mother wasn’t a codependent that suffered a lot taking care of him and working herself to the bone they would still be here today.

And I am also not a successful career woman with kids either. I am switching careers to be a therapist and things barely worked out with my last career. And I have yet to be engaged, married and have kids and I just feel so depressed and resentful over the fact that my mother will never see those things happen! If I knew she was going to die this year maybe I would have made better choices and would already have made the effort to obtain these things by now.

I don’t know if 34-years-old still counts as being an adult orphan, but it is strange! Most of my peers still have both living parents and the few that also have dead parents have only lost one.

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u/Lady_Whistlegirl91 — 6 days ago

My mother just passed away a month after intestinal surgery

I (F34) just found out today that my mother (F75) passed on this morning. She was already frail and underweight and she just had a successful intestinal surgery to remove a tumor last month! I had the impression that whilst she was still in a weaker physical state that she was recovering well from the surgery! But she also had heart failure and I think she got inconsistent in taking her meds after getting out of the hospital. I still don’t know the full picture but she was planning to go to the doctor because she got tired very easily. She was also sleepy a lot! I don’t know what to do in many ways! I had a toxic relationship with my alcoholic, emotionally abusive father, and my mother was the closest thing I had to a proper parent! And now she is gone!!

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u/Lady_Whistlegirl91 — 10 days ago