Pre-engagement advice
How do I deal with my soon to be fiancé having their parents buy majority of my engagement ring?
I’m in the process of getting engaged. Picked out the ring style and my partner is getting it custom made based on all the things I liked. Im beyond excited for this next step with them. We’ve been together for 4 years now. I’m in my early 30s and my partner is a few years younger than me, so there’s a bit of a dynamic of them being ok with waiting for kids and such for a couple years while i want to start sooner rather than later. Ok, I found out my partner asked their parents for money to pay for over half the engagement ring. They said it was to make sure I got everything I wanted within the timeline I wanted. I feel so uncomfortable with this. Their parents have already said they would help with the wedding so my partner assumed this was part of the wedding expenses. I love my partner but this really destroys me as this was something I felt was sacred for just the two of us and should be kept between us, and not a wedding expense to be helped with. And I’m feeling guilty bc I never wanted to make it seem like I needed the most expensive ring. I expressed multiple times I did not want a super expensive ring. I’m genuinely feeling like the ring is tarnished to me, and I don’t want to feel that way.
Any advice on how to deal? We’ve been basically arguing back and forth about whether this is ok or not. They said this was the easiest option opposed to credit cards and loans. But really hate the idea of his parents buying my engagement ring.
Update: we’ve discussed budget previously and I have many times mentioned I did not want the most expensive ring nor do I need all the things I dream of in the ring. I would gladly downsize to whatever works for my partners budget if I knew whatever I had chosen was not in the original budget. I was told it was until just recently. I do not care how small the ring is or what it lacks. I care about the symbol and the meaning of it to us.
I am so honored and grateful his family wants to help out with this and that they love me. and I truly cannot wait to be part of the family.