r/AskONLYWomenOver30

I mean I love cooking and preparing food , i used to spend so much time and was really good at it. But the men in my life have always come and gobbled up my food. I feel spending hours cooking food for myself and either bfs or male friends or male housemates would just gobble the food in one go which might serve me probably 3 meals. And this happened over the last 10 years and eventually my diet shifted to a more processed food diet to match their diet and eventually I stopped cooking. I used to eat clean and now I can’t. I dread to have a family and keep on cooking because they would have a large appetite and I won’t be able to keep up with my diet. ( this had happened before with my bf and I was sick of it)

Now I miss my cooking and food and even if I do try to get back there’s some random friends visit and my entire weeks food is gone for which I do select my ingredients carefully and spend hours cooking.

Whereas girls in my circle are considerate or have small appetite

This might sound petty but I feel annoyed at male friends’ large appetite.

What's driving you up the wall this week? Here's your outlet to rant and curse.

my marriage ended four years ago after twelve years together and i’ve been single ever since. i threw myself into work and my own life but now that i’m ready to date again it feels completely different from when i was younger. online dating has been discouraging and i often feel like i don’t even know how to show up as myself anymore.

i’ve been thinking about reaching out to a matchmaker to see if professional help might make this process feel less impossible. how did you rebuild your confidence when starting to date again after a long relationship? and what helped you feel like you were actually ready instead of just going through the motions?

I’m thinking of buying property by myself. I’m 29, and I’ve never lived alone. I think this is a good step for my financial future and personal growth, but I don’t know where to start other than perusing zillow. Would love some advice if anyone has any

So I (F 25) met this guy (M 29) on a dating app back in January. Things were great! I really liked everything about him and we seemed to have a lot in common especially I. Our values (or so I thought). Over time things slowly started to get well - odd. He has a job In Medicine and I understood that maybe that could take a lot of time out of his day but it turned into me getting responses days or weeks later. He took a few random trips to go be with friends but on the trips he wouldn’t have any communication with me. I stared to feel kind of odd about the whole thing and had a few different conversations with him about it and what I was looking for, date to marry, etc. story goes on - we go out, have a great time, don’t talk for weeks, go out again. I just felt like I was more of an option if that makes sense.

By April I had become really weirded out by it and couldn’t look past it so we ended up cutting things off.

This last week, he randomly reached out to me told me he was thinking of me and wanted to get dinner when I came back from my vacation. I really don’t know what to think. My past experience with him wasn’t all the best and I felt like he wasn’t very serious about me or maybe the way he goes about dating. I’m also a little shocked by him reaching out after I had cut it off.

I don’t want to waste my time and I definitely don’t want to be a backup option. I just need another perspective.

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Feel free to post whatever random thoughts, complaints, and things you'd like to discuss in this thread. It's a free-for-all topic discussion.

I Have really bad pigmentation in my private area a

That I want to fix please help me and on my elbows and knees

I am 44f, and my parents are 74f and 75m. I live several states away from them. I just spent a week of vacation with them. We didn’t always have great relationships, and I had to move to get away from my abusive sister whom they prefer and enable. That said, after much work, we have a great relationship now. I cried like a small child when I had to leave them. I miss them and worry that I’m missing out on their remaining healthy years. I was unable to have kids, so, when they are gone, I will have no remaining family. I have found myself over the last few weeks drowning in fear of losing them and anticipatory grief. I cry at the drop of a hat. How do I deal with this stage of life? I’m not sure that perimenopause is helping…

I feel the need to write this, in the past year or so I’ve completely stopped guilt tripping myself and being harsh myself for not being productive on the first day of my period. I’m menstruating, my body is going through changes. I could really give the least fuck about doing anything at all. If I’m gonna lay in bed all day eat and be on my phone so be it, I feel so much peace and at ease. To just mentally let go and be kind to myself. This is the time to love my body and let myself just rest and do me, whatever that is even if it’s absolutely nothing. Have any of you ladies felt this way too?

I (F25) met by best friend (F25) at uni and we lived together for two years. We got on so well, more than with anyone I’ve ever met in my life and just completely clicked. 

After we graduated she went through a really tough breakup and just stopped responding to me for months, she has expressed before that she finds responding back overwhelming which I understand. Then on New Year's Eve I sent her a voice message saying I missed her and wanted her back in my life, and she said she felt exactly the same, she needed me back too. We went straight back to how we were, constant texting, facetimes, we went on holiday together for my birthday and had an amazing time. She is the only person I’ve been around that I recharge with, rather than away from.

In Summer 2024 she started dating someone new, and told me he had a serious porn addiction, to the point where he couldn’t orgasm either with her or on his own, apparently had little to no feeling down there at all, and that he'd lied to her before about stopping multiple times. I visited in the September and she told me she'd found Telegram on his phone. She asked what the app was and he said work messages, but when pushed he eventually said it was because he couldn’t get off to porn he found on the ‘normal’ websites. I asked if she thought he might be watching something illegal on there, she said she wasn’t sure and looked genuinely gutted. We’d had a few glasses of wine and I basically told her straight up that I didn’t like him and I thought that was major red flags. She had been talking about them going to couples therapy over it after 5 months of dating and I said that’s ridiculous, you’re 25, you should be having fun, and it shouldn’t be this hard. 

After I left hers she went radio silent for five days, then was on and off for weeks, I maybe heard from her once a week if not less. She was always so apologetic and saying she loved and missed me so much when she did reply, and when I asked her if it was to do with the conversation we had she said absolutely not and she was just struggling and had a lot on. She messaged me on Christmas Day, I said we should FaceTime soon and she was super enthusiastic about the idea of it, and I haven’t heard from her since. I send her a couple texts after, and the last I sent was a happy new year text which still hasn’t been read to this day. I waited a few weeks after the new year one to see if she’d reach back out and it just never happened, that was new years 2025.

The dilemma I have is that she was genuinely the person that convinced me friends can be soulmates, and from what she said she felt the same. I have built a life in London (I moved the January she ghosted me) and I have made friends here but I subconsciously compare everyone to the connection I had with her. I go through weeks where I will dream about her every night and birthday wishes are that she will message again. Part of me thinks I should just reach out and call or something and ask if she’d meet me for a coffee, the other part of me thinks I need friends in my life that wouldn’t ghost me the month I move to a new city where I don’t know anyone and never reach out again. About 8 months after not speaking she started watching my instagram stories again which felt like an absolute mindfuck, It feels so odd to think about just never speaking to her again and just seeing our lives play out on social media, and honestly gives me a sick sort of pit feeling in my chest.

Does anyone have any advice on whether I should just reach out and see if we can reconnect, or whether I should just leave it and try to move on?

I haven’t had a female friend since university, i’m now 30. Everyone went their separate ways and I haven’t made a new friend since. Just me and my boyfriend of 4 years, and occasionally i’ll meet up with a uni friend twice a year, but she’s busy with a baby.

I’ve done Brazilian jiu jistu and powerlifting over the last few years, trying to meet more women but struggled to have anything happen (drinks/lunches/girls trips) on the outside of going to classes. I also work long hours as a chef in a kitchen full of men so unable to build friendships with any women there.

My mother has done crossfit for a few years and made a lot of good friendships there. They often all vacation together, women in their 40’s/50’s. Which makes me hopeful!

If you recently made a good friend in your thirties, where and how did it come about?

It's Saturday! Grab your choice of morning beverage and come chat with us.

Feel free to post whatever random thoughts, complaints, and things you'd like to discuss in this thread. It's a free-for-all topic discussion.