u/Lani202

I am 1/4 Japanese (dad is 1/2) and it is causing me an identity crisis. I wouldn’t be having this problem if all my siblings and I looked alike but I am pale with pink skin, blonde, and green eyes (I am white)… my siblings on the other hand all have dark brown hair, brown/green eyes, beautiful olive/tanned skin, and as my grandma (Japanese) says they all have “her blood”.

Currently in Japan right now staying with my grandma and one of my siblings and all I get to hear is how my sister looks so “oriental” and Japanese. It just hurts. It doesn’t help that my sister is size 00 and I’m a 6 so throw on top of that her basically calling me a chud today when I literally eat the same amount as my sister all the time.

I want to all add that I have studied Japanese and can speak and read pretty well - my siblings literally know nothing. I am the navigator and translator here. I know it’s me trying to make up for what I lack in looks. I get the white privilege everyone talks about and unfortunately my siblings have all experienced racism because people can tell they aren’t just white. I’m just tired of the constant comparison between us by our family and people being shocked that we are siblings at this point I’d rather just be fully white. I’m sick of it and it makes me so angry. My siblings would also never have had an interest in seeing our grandma and going to Japan if I hadn’t pushed them to go.

Also note, I did a DNA test and I’m 25% Japanese and my sister is 34% idk about my other siblings but I think they are more than her tbh. Yes, I understand I am still 75% white so it makes sense that I’m white. I’ve heard it more times than I can count.

Anyone else look nothing like their siblings or have similar experiences?

I just graduated today and am seeing now the true colors of some of my “friends” I’ve had all of college. I was the mom of our group and literally cooked and fed everyone all the time (my choice I know) but I was the only one who graduated they are all a year below me.. it’s summer now and most of them are home or internship and I noticed as soon as I graduated , it was like within hours , they aren’t interested in anything I had to say. I invested so much into these friendships and I know they are my friends and I shouldn’t expect anything in return but I really feel used and left out alone to dry :(

I have so many regrets and truly hate some of these girls now. I am seeing how mean they are - I knew before but I wanted to keep peace in our group. Now I’m moving home with my mom for 6 months and I’m sad to be leaving these friends because I made my life revolve around them.. I was just never a priority for them. I’m sad and I have no friends in my hometown. Has anyone else experienced this with their friends from college? Graduation also sucked bc none of my friends graduated with me lol 😀

High school mindset really never goes away - I still think I have some of it.