My experience with EMDR (finger picking)
About 6 weeks ago I did two Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) specifically targeting my skin picking. I don't wnt to jinx it but so far I am seeing success and I want to share my experience.
A bit about me. I'm in my early 40s and I started picking the skin on my fingers when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I became aware of my picking when I was 8. I vividly remember sitting on the floor, hands stretched out behind me keeping me upright while my teacher read a book. I looked at my outstretched fingers and noticed they were bleeding. I instantly felt embarassed and ashamed. From that point on, I'd look at peoples fingers to see if they picked too. I would keep my hands crunched into fists to avoid showing people my fingers. No matter how hard I tried... I could. Not. Stop.
So flash forward 35 years and I am working with my therapist to deal with some complex PTSD stuff and notice that EMDR is working... so I think, "hey! Maybe this will work for my dermatillomania??" I discuss effectiveness with my therapist and as it turns out, it can definitelu help! So... we did it!
We started by going back to when I first noticed the picking... and tried to figure out when it actually started. Tbh, I really can't pin point an exact time, but it would make the most sense if it started when I became aware that my mom was too mentally ill to really care for me, and when my parents divorced. .
EMDR for prolonged neglect is different than EMDR for acute events. Basically, we needed to access a feeling rather than a moment in time. So, yeah... I accessed a feeling and visualized myself as a young girl and did the EMDR focusing on that feeling while also keeping in mind my picking.
I noticed immediately that I was not picking as much... I also noticed more easily when I WAS picking, because well... you all know how automatic and mindless the whole thing is. I'm now about 4 weeks from my last skin picking focused EMDR session and noticing a significant improvement. I am now working on healing the damaged skin which has become hypopigmented and looks a lot like scar tissue.
Instead of picking, I am obsessively oiling my fingers with a homemade jojoba oil mixture, putting cicaplast on at night under bandages, and giving myself multiple manicures a week. Unfortunately, I don't have before pictures and would love to post an "after" photo but I don't know how???
Feel free to ask me about my experience!