u/Late_Persimmon7359

Saw this workout I really wanted to try. I am incredibly sedentary I dont do shit, and I want more muscle mass so yeah. Starts off with crunches. Easy, right? But no, I can't fucking do it. Decide to search it up cause surely my technique is wrong? But apparently my core muscles are just too weak. Okay, try some easier variants? Can't fucking do those either!!! so what the actual FUCK am i supposed to do??????? Oh I guess i can't be healthy now. Stupid fucking muscle groups its not my fucking fault that ive been forced ro sit at a desk for like 9 hours a day basically all my life. Im actually done fuck this shit

I'm short (161), ugly, and have a very feminine body. I could start on T, but that wouldn't fix my height. I go onto social media and all i see is trans men getting torn to shreds by other trans men, claiming that theyre not even trying to pass or transition, and that if they were actually dysphoric they'd do anything to pass as a man.

I feel like a fake. There's surgery for increasing height, but I don't know enough about it. I don't think I'd ever be as tall as I want even if I did do something so dangerous. Is it unreasonable that I would want to look like a certain type of man, rather than just anything I could pass as?

Someone irl told me if I take T and gain loads of weight I could easily pass as just a hairy fat dude. I know theyre tryna be helpful but it sort of feels depressing. I see a lot of people say that actual trans men just wanna look like any old dude no matter what. Does that mean I'm not actually trans? Am i misunderstanding?

I dunno. I just need to be reborn atp

I am sat in tears absolutely miserable and I have no one to talk to. I messaged my friend and they go 'damn bro'. I'm so distraught. I don't know why this has to happen to me, I just want someone to love me like I love them. My medication is doing jackshit. I would give so much just for a real friend

I go online to try and find a way to practice harm reduction, but all I see is just straight fear mongering. Especially with that complete unnecessary google ai thing. Saying that if I eat as I am, I'll die. If I start eating normally, I'll die. If I don't take electrolytes, I'll die. If I do, I'll die (even worse when it talks about getting bigger and bloated).

I am living in a state of perpetual fear and I hate it. Rationally I know that my organs won't fail tomorrow (cause I don't have anorexia nervosa, I go through months of restricting, then overreating/binging) but hearing it scares me.

I hate this misconception that I am just choosing to be this way. Who willingly chooses to be scared of food?! If I could never look at a scale or the calories on my food again, I'd be so happy. I don't have it bad enough to be taken seriously, but it fucks with my head. I want to think about something other than food.

If I don't lose weight and am seen as a woman, I'm fat! (Despite being healthy bmi) If I want to present as a man but am not skinny, I'm embarrassing to the community and not trying hard enough. If I want to be enby, it's the same thing. It makes me so angry that the same people who propagate this sort of weird ass mindset will turn around and start screaming about how you're going to die.

"You're going to be skinny fat!" That's so helpful, thank you. I love hearing that even when my muscles are literally being consumed for energy like last year, the only thing people can think about is that I still have fat on me. That my skin will look bad. That my hair will look bad. It makes me so upset. How about a 'hey I really care about you, don't do this please. we can work on it together'. That would literally be fine and ideal but no, fuck me ig. I either get encouraged or ignored.

If I die I swear all people will talk about is how ugly my corpse is. I hate myself and I don't want to be seen by other people. Okay bye.

Ive been fat literally my whole life. I dont eat down to weights so low that I should be skinny, to the lower end of my bmi, and I still look fat. I dont want constantly have to diet. Im sick of it. Im ugly and stupid, and I cant go two days without seeing some dumb posts about how my hair is going to fall out, how my skin is going to be disgusting and gross, how my body wont produce collagen and ill be ugly.

I know that and im scared and these people dont seem to realise that no im not trhing to claim I enjoy having breakdowns every few months when chunks of mu chair start falling out and I faint in my classes! No I domt like it!! The worst part of it all is that ive never been underweigjt. Not once. Ive starved over 35 kilos off pf myself, I am now always in the normal weight range, but i just lose and gain the same damn ten fucking kilos putting me between low normal and high normal.

I just want to eat and never worry about whats in my food and stay a normal weight! I just want to wear my clothes and look at my body without hating it. I wish I was born male instead of female why does my body hold fat like this. I want to look less womanly but I cant.

Im back on a stupid diet and all I can think about is food. The weight is dropping fast but I dont even care anymore I just feel this ever looming sense of dread bevause the more i lose the more i fucking suffer. Please god someone just let me never even have to think about this again. I want someone who will calculate all my calories for me and make me meals and help me exercise so I can stay an optimal weight without having to think.

And im vegan so my diet is inherently restrictive. Everyone in my fanily are dieting and eating these suoer low calorie plans and I hate it I hate everyone.

Why rf is my sister who has literally been uw allowed to eat omad and exercise for hours per day. Oh and hevsen forbid I talk abour my own problems with eating because NO U DIDNT HAVE IT THAT BAD NOT LIKE SHE DID!!! It makes me want to sob and cry cause I lost 20 kilos in a really short soace of time and no one cares, but she loses down to NO not even underweigjt??!!! (i forgot, but she didnt get a referral either!!!) She gets to one of my lws (and shes shorter) and suddenly its a problem and she had it so much worse. But when my hair was literally falling out and i looked GREY and just disgusting in general, it was considered a joke cause HAHA look how ugly you are!!!

No i cant go to mh services or a dietician or my gp. Yes I tried. But they said its fine to have those thoughts and everyone has them, and ive never been underweigjt so its fine! My doctor even said to keep going! To maybe eat more protein and keep going! I wont say how little I was eating at the time, but by anyone's standards it eas really low. They wouldnt even refer me to an ed service because my weight was fine, and 'it happens tk everyone'. I just want a nice body and to look like a man is ghat too much to ask for.

Recently I've been thinking that I want to be seen as a boy. I still don't think I am one, I identify as Agender, but I wish people would look at me and see a pretty boy. Hence the issue, I'm pretty damn ugly.

Plastic surgery is expensive, the NHS definitely would not label it as gender affirming surgery, and I'm poor. I am trying to lose weight to have less of a female looking body, but no matter what I do, my face continues to bother me.

I am mocked for being unattractive already as a woman. If I were to be visibly genderqueer, it would only get worse. The longer I am stuck in this body, the more I hate myself.

I have changed my hair. My clothes. But truly, what I wear isn't the issue, it's my face. I feel disgusting. If I was attractive, it would make everything so much easier. Anyway ok byebyebye

I'm fed up with being pushed to socialise by therapists and other people around me for this reason. 'Go outside', 'talk to people'- WHO??? I'm supposed to magic people out of my ass now? Joined some discord servers, got ignored because everyone has preestablished groups. Why make a server if you're NOT GONNA TALK TO ANYONE BUT YOUR FRIENDS ANYWAY!!! Search on chat websites, bad idea cause no-one is actually there to make friends. Looked for bmf posts by people around me, but when I message they're dry!!!

Yeah I have college, but people in there don't want friends either. I asked to sit next to several groups of people, each one of them looked at me like I had just shat on the ground in front of them. Or they have preestablished friend groups and don't want to socialise outside of those. There aren't any clubs cause my college is an absolute mess, and I can't just go anywhere because this is the UK. Heaven forbid you're slightly different cause everyone will jump you. (And im ugly female so that doesnt help 😭😭). Oh and I have a job, no luck there either.

I have friends ig, but it's difficult being around them. I'm putting on an act for everyone i meet just so that they like me. They also don't have the same interests as me at all. Which is fine, but I'd like someone to spend a lot of time with? It feels weird having to beg my friends to try take interest in something that I like, when I am constantly picking up new things they enjoy in some attempt to find a mutual interest. They also have lots and lots of other, closer friends, so I often tend to come as an afterthought. I also find it exhausting having to perform. Idk i feel like that one jester meme thing 😭😭 i dont even have niche interests, I just like video games and art thats it

I've heard it's only gonna get harder when I'm an adult, but it hasn't been easy at school either? Idk i feel like im gonna go my whole life without any good friends. I didn't have friends for a long time when I was a lot younger, so im used to being alone, but being alone whilst around other people is sososo much worse. ok bai