Neighbor is going to demolish a house next to my garage. They want access to my landscaped yard to do it. Is a contract warranted?

Neighbor is going to demolish a house next to my garage. They want access to my landscaped yard to do it. Is a contract warranted?

location: NY, USA

Diagram of the area

So, long story short, I live in a small city where houses are generally on the street, and in the back yard are garages that face an alleyway. Most homes and garages are from the Victorian era (roughly 150 years old). My neighbor's land parcel has a second small house on the alley instead of a garage, which no one lives in.

They currently use it for storage despite one of the basement walls having fallen in at some point before we moved in 6 years ago.

This alley house is about two feet from the fence that divides our property, and probably 15 feet from my garage. In between the house and the garage is a new hardscaped path.

I spent $50,000 getting my yard completely hardscaped three years ago. It's lovely and I want to do nothing to it.

However, my neighbor is asking to have access to my yard for the demolition crew to demolish the house, heavy machinery, rip up our path, etc. My husband verbally told him yes without asking me (we both own the property). Once I heard that, I texted my neighbor to tell him he needed to first find a crew, and if the crew says they need to use our yard, we need a contract about what is going to happen in our yard, what part of the yard they'll use, how damages will be repaired, who will repair them, who will pay, and when.

The house is also undoubtably covered in lead paint and might contain asbestos. Neither of which I want in my yard where my toddler plays. So I guess I should add an abatement clause?

We have a friendly relationship with our neighbors. I want to maintain this; however, there is a limit. I don't want to let them destroy or contaminate a part of the backyard unless I know they're going to put it back exactly, quickly, and pay for it. I could just say outright "no" but that seems meaner than making a contract.

If they do want to use my yard, I am going into "asshole neighbor mode" if I actually draft a contract for us to sign? I feel like it's necessary to ensure our property is returned to its original state in a timely manner.

Or am I not being serious enough and I should have a professional make the contract?

u/LavenderCuddlefish — 22 hours ago

Seasonal Routes- when are the dates generally confirmed?

TL;DR: This is mostly a vent. But if anyone with more experience with this airline knows when they "set in stone" their seasonal dates usually I'd really appreciate some wisdom

Before anyone mentions, yes, I did try asking Allegiant support. More than once. They weren't helpful. All they say is that they add new dates every 2-3 months and they do not know specifics about the route. Have you signed up for the email list? Yes, and nothing has been sent in the last 2 months. Is there anyone else I can talk to? Nope.

I'm trying to figure out when a FL-based seasonal route will end next year. In years past, the dates have been more like Dec-March. The dates I was looking to travel were Feb 20- Mar 6, which has been covered for the past several years of seasonal flights.

For the past two months, the route has been populated with dates from Nov 18- Feb 6.

I wanted to know if Feb 6 is the end of the seasonal offering. I asked support and all they said was to keep checking back for more dates, with no confirmation on if Feb 6 was the end or not.

It's been two months and no more dates have been added. I'm going a bit stir crazy and need to let family know my travel plans soon so they can book their own flights and accommodations as this location fills up quick in advance.

If I need to switch to end my vacation on Feb 6 I can. But I need to actually get a confirmation!

(The reason I was preferring Feb 20 is because my child will be 2 by then, but not 2 by the 6th. I asked support if CARES harnesses can be used by a child under 2 as long as they meet the weight limit, because I was getting conflicting answers on their FAQ (one page said yes, one page said they had to be 2). They claimed it was fine. But I'd prefer to cover my bases since I will not be bringing a car seat. The last thing I want is for support to say one thing then when we get on the plane, the flight attendant says another.)

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u/LavenderCuddlefish — 12 days ago
▲ 3 r/PVCs

Had an ablation- well, an aborted ablation. Anyone else?

Hey guys,

I've had 20-30% burden PVCs for about a decade, which were treated with metoprolol. The metoprolol was getting less and less effective, measured at 18% burden even on the medication, so I booked an ablation.

The ablation was yesterday. They tried, but had to abort the procedure after mapping because the spot my PVCs are coming from is too complicated/close to important structures.

In order to get to that point I went through most of the procedure, anesthesia, 3 holes in the groin, mapping, wake up in the middle, epinephrine, etc, they just didn't put me back to sleep for the actual burning part.

So I get all the recovery with none of the benefit. :(

I'm honestly really disappointed. I'd already tried a calcium-channel blocker and it wasn't effective, metoprolol also is not longer effective (plus had bad sleep side effects)... the only place I can go from here is an anti-arrhythmic, which I've been avoiding due to the possible side effect of a more dangerous arrythmia.

Has anyone else been in my shoes and had PVCs in a spot that it is not possible to ablate? How are you doing now?

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u/LavenderCuddlefish — 14 days ago

Review of Agnes Aubert's Mystical Cat Shelter by Heather Fawcett

{Agnes Aubert's Mystical Cat Shelter by Heather Fawcett} is a cozy historical fantasy romance set in 1920s Montréal. The FMC is a woman in her 30s who owns a cat shelter, and the MMC is a mysterious dark magician.

I went into this book with high expectations, since I've enjoyed all 3 books in {Emily Wilde by Heather Fawcett}. I also love an older FMC, cats, and turn-of-the-century settings. And just look at that cover! What's not to love?

Unfortunately, this book fell a bit flat for me and I wish it hadn't. The setup was great, the shop was charming, but it lost steam throughout and didn't stick the landing. The pacing was odd to me- there were long stretches of low-stakes "cozy" parts and then random spurts of actual plot and development in measures that I don't feel were balanced enough.

I loved the cats: their names, their different personalities, watching them find owners. So sweet! I really hated when the CMC (cat main character, if you will) the>! FMC's dead husband's companion cat!< >!betrayed the FMC/MMC for seemingly no reason.!<I thought the cats could have more to do with the plot, though, or interact more with the magic system somehow. Banshee (who I loved) did do this to some affect but it wasn't as much as I was expecting. As we know, cats are mystical creatures.

>!Except you, His Majesty. You're just a demon.!<

I think the most major issue with this book lies in its too-close inspiration from {Howl's Moving Castle}. I saw Howl's Moving Castle and Castle in the Sky (along with Emily Wilde) as easter-egg books on the cover and thought it was cute, but it goes too far beyond easter egg. Let me count the ways..

  1. >!Mysterious magician with a magically-moving home? Check. !<
  2. >!Mysterious magician that hides in their messy lair with their young sidekick? Check. !<
  3. >!Normal woman who is thrown into a conflict and has to come in and clean up the magician's act? Check. !<
  4. >!Mysterious magician is actually childish and throws tantrums? Check. !<
  5. >!Mysterious magician must travel to a mysterious realm which sucks his humanity from him? Check. !<
  6. >!Normal woman needs to learn to time travel to go back in time to the mysterious magician to aid him? Check.!<

Howl's Moving Castle is an excellent book and film, one of my favorites. But I feel the inspiration is taken too heavily here.

The conflict with the main villain and the ending were lackluster to me. The conflict never felt pressing, more like just normal life with an occasional heckler out the shop window. The MMC was supposed to be world-ending scary, but he didn't seem dangerous at all (maybe that was the point?). I didn't feel satisfied with the resolution or the epilogue. I think I wanted more whimsy and more magic.

Overall I found it sweet, cozy, and low-stakes. Maybe a bit too much so. I'd give it a 3/5 but wouldn't reach for it again.

u/LavenderCuddlefish — 21 days ago

"A Forbidden Alchemy" major plot hole question

I just finished reading {"A Forbidden Alchemy" by Stacey McEwan}. It was pretty good! Not the most amazing fantasy book I've ever read, but much better than some other fantasy romances.

I had one major question at the end of the book that seemed like a giant plot hole to me. I even checked back to make sure I read correctly and didn't miss something.

>!At the finale of the book, the revolutionary town was overrun by the Artisans. The key element was that the soldiers got in through a mine tunnel the main characters had dug throughout the book. !<HOWEVER the part I do not get>!, is that two chapters ago, Theo had run away, and they could not complete the tunnel without his water-damming help (they were only about 2/3 of the way there going by the location of the river on the map). !<>!So HOW did the army get here? The tunnel was never finished and no exit at the current end was mentioned, so it's not like the army marched 50 miles aboveground then took the rest of the tunnel.!<

Another smaller thing that bugged me- the author referred to elevators in a mineshafts as only "the shaft". Is that normal and I'm just not used to seeing it referred to as "the shaft" instead of "the elevator" or "the cage" or even "the platform"? I was really confused reading the first time they used "the shaft" at how they were descending a mineshaft with no mention of the elevator itself.

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u/LavenderCuddlefish — 22 days ago

Review/Rant of Fall of Ruin and Wrath by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Review of {Fall of Ruin and Wrath by Jennifer L. Armentrout}

Tl;dr: I really didn't like it! Maybe it just isn't for me.

I rented the audiobook version of this for a long drive and got to 70%, but I don't think I'll be finishing it. I didn't enjoy the narrator especially, her voice was too modern and overly sultry by default, in my opinion. She also only had 1 voice for the male characters and it got confusing/dull. >!Except for Muriel(? Probably butchering this but it's exactly how the narrator pronounced it) who almost immediately died.!<

(I also did not get to read any character or world-specific names or words, only heard them, so I apologize if I butcher spellings.)

Overall I found this book a little insufferable. I don't usually roll my eyes at a book but there were several times I did in this one. If I heard "My Highborn Lord" one more time I was going to lose it. The FMC was too feisty about the strangest things. The MMC was half-Vulcan half-Faerie in a way I did not find interesting. And despite being probably 15 hours into this book... nothing has really happened?

I feel like there should be a new Bechdel test: the "Lis test". Has the FMC ever interacted with the MMC when she wasn't wearing a sheer robe or nightgown? No. At least in the first 70%. I'm not joking, I started keeping track, and every scene they're in she is either wandering around in a nightgown or in a see-through robe.

I stopped listening right after the reveal that >!the world was post-apocalyptic and had previously been what sounded like our modern 7-continent Earth.!<>!That seemed to come out of nowhere with an odd amount of preachy climate change themes.!<

I was also getting really annoyed by the stubbornness of the FMC who, despite being some sort of concubine, was aghast at having to be a concubine? Maybe some more exposition was needed at the beginning to explain that she was not really a concubine and instead just an informant posing as a concubine? But then she talked about her times as a concubine so... Not really getting it.

I should've quit and moved on to my backup book when the FMC yelled "freakin'" as a swear in the first few chapters. But I wanted to like it since I liked {A Shadow in the Ember}. But then I did not like {From Blood and Ash}, even more than this book. So I guess this author is just hit and miss for me, more miss.

If I had thought of this book more as an {Ice Planet Barbarians} junk food book, I probably would've liked it better. But I was expecting a more robust/historical book.

Anyone else struggle with this one?

/rant

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u/LavenderCuddlefish — 22 days ago

What plant would be good specifically for thick, walkable cover on a shady 5B yard?

I have a back yard I'm trying to get a thick, walkable, full-coverage "lawn" on- the inside of the
"square" of brick path. The reason it's so important to be thick is that my yard has a dirty/historic fill that's full of sharp glass and ceramic. Every time it rains, more glass and ceramic surfaces. It's not feasible to remove it, so I want to cover it best I can. I don't have hopes that my kid can run barefoot, but just that he won't be running around picking up shards of glass.

When I first bought the house, the previous year's leaves were never removed and it killed whatever happened to be here before, so it was just dirt.

The landscapers I contacted first tried a shady grass mix. The day after they put it down rain washed out half of it. They put down more but it was washed out again. I bought more shady grass seed and thoroughly covered the remaining patches, but no real improvement in the past few years. It grows OK but is very patchy- the photo attached is the first year of growth. The areas that get washed out the most are the baldest.

Past couple years I tried mixing in white clover, which you can see in the second photo. It fills in nicely but there's still a ton of dead space that no additional applications of clover seed seem to touch.

Is there a third plant I can introduce here that will complete the "carpet"? Should I try moss? Microclover? Or am I doing something wrong with the ones I have and could improve that instead?

Zone 5B, NY, full shade, slightly sloped. I'd estimate there's a 50-60% coverage at the moment.

Thanks!

u/LavenderCuddlefish — 28 days ago

Low-pile felt for diaper liners?

*Title should say fleece not felt, sorry!

I used to use Esembly liners, and they were great! Very thin and not fluffy felt which was easy to scrub off in prewash.

My baby needs bigger and bulkier diapers now and the Esembly ones are not wide enough, so I tried getting 3 different fleece scraps from the thrift store and cutting my own. It's normal fleece like you'd find in a blanket.

The new size is great but this fleece is too "fluffy", too nice? The higher pile makes it impossible to scrub all the bits off. It's like it gets stuck how it would in dog fur.

I don't have a lot of sewing knowledge. Is there a specific type of fleece that is what Esembly liners are made from? Some sort of thin/non-fluffy variety? What brand do you use? Thank you!

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u/LavenderCuddlefish — 2 months ago