u/LavenderWinter

Help.

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Looking for advice on how to get outta the platonic Roommate zone. My partner 35F and myself 33F have been together just over 3 years and have lived together just over a year.

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We have a great strong relationship, it feels like a dream. Cozy, talk about our feelings, share things, have a pretty good balance of our work, home, and social life. We never used to struggle in our sex/intimate life until about 6 months ago. I understand this could be a "slump" or "moving out of the honeymoon stage." It feels like it's more and that's why I'm losing the question here.

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I've always been more of a switch (push/pulling between dominate and more submissive). She is very much more submissive. We'd talk about how I would like her to be more dominant as sometimes my mind can play tricks with me on feeling unattractive or wanted if it's constantly me pulling her in close and getting things going. I definitely backed off of being more dominant over the past year but now we hardly every have sex. It was a conversation about how I needed these things; but now we have fallen into a roommate zone. We sleep next to each other (she's already snoring now) and have a great relationship.

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I wanna talk and see her every day but I feel like I have lost all attraction to her. That she really is my best friend but the thought of going down on here or even hearing her moan makes me wanna giggle and wiggle away. Like having sex with your friends or a dude. Just no interest. Now, even if I try to be dominant with her, I'm not necessarily "repulsed" but just sort of meh, or almost get the ick. It's absolutely nothing she did. It just feels wrong now.

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I'm not sure how to proceed going forward in our relationship. We just signed a lease on a new place. I'm hopeful a change in routine helps. Has anyone else ever handled anything like this? How did you move out of this stage and back into more of a romance sphere? Is there anything that can help bridge the gap?