u/Lazy-Ask-6216

I’ve been frequenting this sub for awhile and the information you guys give help a lot. I just need a little encouragement. I know that if you’ve been drinking for years it disrupts the pleasure sensors in your brain. My question is, when does life get fun and pleasurable again? I workout everyday and started running and it gives me immense joy. The thing is when I’m not at the gym I’m incredibly bored and don’t feel “awake” if that makes sense. When does this feeling leave?

I’ve been battling alcohol addiction for 10 years with the last five being really bad. I was active duty military when I developed my habit. It’s unfortunate because I didn’t really drink before the Navy. I joined at 27 as well and my father has been a raging alcoholic his entire life so I stayed away from it for the most part.

I drank in college like any other student but was never an everyday drinking unless it was like homecoming week. Even if I did drink a couple beers and shots would be pretty sufficient since I was a pothead back then. Graduated worked a couple jobs I didn’t like then joined the Navy.

Me and my friends ended up drinking every single day if we were in port but it was no problem. We were all fit guys, working out six days a week and playing basketball. We were the type of guys deadlifting 525lbs (me) or running 3 miles under 20 minutes (them).

The difference came once we started going out to sea. We would use that to cleanse our self. Anyone who’s been in the military knows you have an opportunity to get in really good shape out there. It’s hard to snack, you drink water all day, and do two a days for months at a time.

Once we pulled into ports at different countries everyone is ready to party and have been saving money for months. We drink from sunup to sun down. 20+ shots every day with unlimited beer and wine for three days with a random duty day where you can’t leave the ship since you have watch. People normally sleep 15-20 hours these days since you’re so hung over.

The problem is I continued this trend to my shore duty which is more like a regular job. Now I don’t get duty days that forces me not to drink. I don’t have random times out at sea where I can’t drink for weeks or months.

Regular hangovers turned into absolute terror. I didn’t know what this was but I knew it was different. My hand had been shaking for years but it was getting worse. I’m still killing the gym but now I’m around 32 and recovery isn’t happening. I noticed I would have SEVERE anxiety for a couple of days after drinking all day on Sunday. I still worked out Monday-Saturday so those days sucked but were manageable. It’s the days after drinking half a 1.75 liter every Sunday of cheap vodka with 6 tall cans of bud light platinum and half a gallon of wine each Sunday that started to catch up.

First it would day a day to recover, then two, then three. I developed a system to survive and still my job but having so much anxiety you feel like a little bitch for three days was not welcome for me. (Sorry for the language I was military).

Blah blah blah fast forward I get out, medically retire, and I’m drinking that much EVERY DAY. I was disciplined in working out for almost ten years and now it’s slipping. Days where I don’t want to go the gym and have a panic attack in front of everyone. Days of leaving the bottle next to my bed and drinking as soon as the hangxiety starts to make it go away.

I figure you know what? I used to be a pot head in college let me try that! It’s not the same unfortunately. I’ve been trying every way with weed for three years but it just gives me straight up paranoia. Indica is less but it’s still there and the only way I can smoke ANY weed at all is if I’m drinking. The problem is now I get WAY to drunk because I’m scary high smh. I add shrooms to the mix to “find out who I really am” and it’s a pretty good experience but I’m still drinking too much.

Go to AA it doesn’t work. Complete the course in 3 months drinking the whole time. After a super embarrassing moment with my family I white knuckle it and don’t drink for 33 days! The first week was hell! Withdrawals and shakes are insane but I get through it. I’m productive, everyone likes me more and I’m getting shit done. Guess what my dumb ass does? (sorry again military language) Figure I can handle it now smh. Drink no hangover, just beer. Goes pretty good for about a week but a six pack a day gets expensive so I get back on cheap run. Within a month it’s worse than ever. I try to stop cold turkey again but I’m having cold sweats, heart palpitations, blood in stool, tremors, hallucinations and my hand shaking is going up to my neck. I wake up at 6am that day around 2pm I go to the liquor store and slam some wine. Pretty sure I would have had a seizure that day if I didn’t.

Each time I relapse I get more and more self critical and more and more depressed. I gain suicidal ideation. Throughout this whole experience YEARS of this I try shrooms off and on. Each time I drink less but without pure will power. I just don’t desire the booze.

Now once again I’m on day three of no alcohol and no weed. I take a tiny, I’m talking .05 grams of a strain of shrooms called Columbian Gold when on an outing with friends. They offer me alcohol and I said no which surprised me. I even had a tiny buzz comparable to being tipsy.

I’ve researched and there are a lot of stand up comics who were former alcoholics and switched to magic mushrooms. Has anyone one here done that? Any thoughts or opinions on this thought process? I think I’m pretty much done with liquor/weed completely which saddens me but it is what it is. I just like to have a buzz when I go to festivals, the movies, parades and things like that lol. What do you think fellow drinkers?!

I’ve been battling alcohol addiction for 10 years with the last five being really bad. I was active duty military when I developed my habit. It’s unfortunate because I didn’t really drink before the Navy. I joined at 27 as well and my father has been a raging alcoholic his entire life so I stayed away from it for the most part.

I drank in college like any other student but was never an everyday drinking unless it was like homecoming week. Even if I did drink a couple beers and shots would be pretty sufficient since I was a pothead back then. Graduated worked a couple jobs I didn’t like then joined the Navy.

Me and my friends ended up drinking every single day if we were in port but it was no problem. We were all fit guys, working out six days a week and playing basketball. We were the type of guys deadlifting 525lbs (me) or running 3 miles under 20 minutes (them).

The difference came once we started going out to sea. We would use that to cleanse our self. Anyone who’s been in the military knows you have an opportunity to get in really good shape out there. It’s hard to snack, you drink water all day, and do two a days for months at a time.

Once we pulled into ports at different countries everyone is ready to party and have been saving money for months. We drink from sunup to sun down. 20+ shots every day with unlimited beer and wine for three days with a random duty day where you can’t leave the ship since you have watch. People normally sleep 15-20 hours these days since you’re so hung over.

The problem is I continued this trend to my shore duty which is more like a regular job. Now I don’t get duty days that forces me not to drink. I don’t have random times out at sea where I can’t drink for weeks or months.

Regular hangovers turned into absolute terror. I didn’t know what this was but I knew it was different. My hand had been shaking for years but it was getting worse. I’m still killing the gym but now I’m around 32 and recovery isn’t happening. I noticed I would have SEVERE anxiety for a couple of days after drinking all day on Sunday. I still worked out Monday-Saturday so those days sucked but were manageable. It’s the days after drinking half a 1.75 liter every Sunday of cheap vodka with 6 tall cans of bud light platinum and half a gallon of wine each Sunday that started to catch up.

First it would day a day to recover, then two, then three. I developed a system to survive and still my job but having so much anxiety you feel like a little bitch for three days was not welcome for me. (Sorry for the language I was military).

Blah blah blah fast forward I get out, medically retire, and I’m drinking that much EVERY DAY. I was disciplined in working out for almost ten years and now it’s slipping. Days where I don’t want to go the gym and have a panic attack in front of everyone. Days of leaving the bottle next to my bed and drinking as soon as the hangxiety starts to make it go away.

I figure you know what? I used to be a pot head in college let me try that! It’s not the same unfortunately. I’ve been trying every way with weed for three years but it just gives me straight up paranoia. Indica is less but it’s still there and the only way I can smoke ANY weed at all is if I’m drinking. The problem is now I get WAY to drunk because I’m scary high smh. I add shrooms to the mix to “find out who I really am” and it’s a pretty good experience but I’m still drinking too much.

Go to AA it doesn’t work. Complete the course in 3 months drinking the whole time. After a super embarrassing moment with my family I white knuckle it and don’t drink for 33 days! The first week was hell! Withdrawals and shakes are insane but I get through it. I’m productive, everyone likes me more and I’m getting shit done. Guess what my dumb ass does? (sorry again military language) Figure I can handle it now smh. Drink no hangover, just beer. Goes pretty good for about a week but a six pack a day gets expensive so I get back on cheap run. Within a month it’s worse than ever. I try to stop cold turkey again but I’m having cold sweats, heart palpitations, blood in stool, tremors, hallucinations and my hand shaking is going up to my neck. I wake up at 6am that day around 2pm I go to the liquor store and slam some wine. Pretty sure I would have had a seizure that day if I didn’t.

Each time I relapse I get more and more self critical and more and more depressed. I gain suicidal ideation. Throughout this whole experience YEARS of this I try shrooms off and on. Each time I drink less but without pure will power. I just don’t desire the booze.

Now once again I’m on day three of no alcohol and no weed. I take a tiny, I’m talking .05 grams of a strain of shrooms called Columbian Gold when on an outing with friends. They offer me alcohol and I said no which surprised me. I even had a tiny buzz comparable to being tipsy.

I’ve researched and there are a lot of stand up comics who were former alcoholics and switched to magic mushrooms. Has anyone one here done that? Any thoughts or opinions on this thought process? I think I’m pretty much done with liquor/weed completely which saddens me but it is what it is. I just like to have a buzz when I go to festivals, the movies, parades and things like that lol. What do you think fellow drinkers?!