u/LazyGarlic8377

Seeing a new guy after my break-up

Hi guys,

This is my first time posting here, and I wanna start off by saying that English isn’t my first language, so my wording may not be the best. That being said I wanna get into my story.

For back story: I (21F) have had tension with this guy (we’ll call him “J” for the sake of the story) (21M) for years and years. We never really did anything, because we were obviously quite young. About 4 years went by and we both moved on with our lives. I got into a relationship with the sweetest most loving man I’ve ever encountered and we were in a relationship for 2,5 years when J slid back into my insta inbox. Of course I knew what he wanted, but it was very platonic and we always had been very good friends, just with a little tension. Anyways didn’t really think much of it. After a while he asked for my Snapchat and I found him on there. We started snapping, yes still platonic. I would like to add that I’ve always been transparent about this with my partner. We could really talk about these things and listen to one another. Of course things didn’t stay platonic (shocker…). We were talking pretty much every day and could both feel the tension building. About after a year of snapping he asked me to come over and I did. He picked me up and we had a really good time. No didn’t do anything, because I was still in a relationship at the time. He asked me to come over about two months later too and there is where the tension was inevitable. We both talked about it and cleared the air that I still have a boyfriend and don’t want to cheat on him. He understood and we went to bed (Yes in the same bed. Yes I only slept in my thong. Yes I know that’s fucked up)

Now here’s the thing: My (now) ex (22M) and I broke up early July after 4 years together. Our relationship was already over like 9 months before we broke up, we both knew that, but just didn’t have the guts to break up. We still are really really good friends. I was home alone last week from Tuesday through Sunday. I asked J to come over Tuesday and he did. We had a real good time together. Wednesday he came over again to go see the solar eclipse with my friends, then Saturday he came over to drink some wine together. He, of course, couldn’t drive home after drinking, so he slept at my house. The tension build up and he started choking me on the couch and kissed me! First time we ever kissed btw. In bed we kinda kissed some more and he started touching my boobs. We didn’t really go any further. Monday I was with my friends and J unexpectedly said he was coming too. I said he could stay at my house and so he did. We kissed some more and some more things. Last week I already told him that I was on my period so we could really do it (not for the first time anyways), so we again didn’t actually have sex, but I was naked grinding on his boxers (that where soaked afterwards). I told him his boxers were soaked and he took them off. Then he turned me around so I was on my back with him in between my legs and he started kissing me. With his cock agains my lower belly and pubic mouth, I honestly thought about ripping my menstrual cup up. After aggressively making out he slid his cock inside me, just the tip, because of my cup, but I honestly wanted so much more. He said he wouldn’t do it, just wanted to see my reaction. And honestly I loved it.

The problem is that J has a lot more experience than I do. I’ve only been with my ex and ex also only been with me. So we really only know that and hoped for the best haha. Now with J it’s different, because it’s just casual and nothing serious. I don’t want to be bad in bed or never hear from him after fucking. We genuinely have a good connections, and honestly don’t think he would do that, but it just makes me so insecure. After about 6/7 years of teasing and wanting each other I really don’t want to disappoint or anything. Anyone with tips, advice or support? I really need it hahaha

reddit.com
u/LazyGarlic8377 — 13 hours ago
▲ 1 r/AlAnon

Worried about my ex/bf

Hi everyone, I want to start this off by saying that English isn’t my first language and that I don’t mean to offend anyone, please know that what I say here is completely my heart on paper (technology) and that I’m very sorry if it even slightly upsets anyone. I’m very new to this all.

Now to my struggle. My bf (22) and I (21) have been together for 4 years. He was always a big drinker at parties, so I kind off “knew” how he was. About a year or so in I started to notice that he was slightly irritated with me when he drank. Nothing serious, just noticeable. Over the years it only became worse. He would never harm me or drink (much) when he was alone (or only with me) but parties or just hanging with friends (which happened almost every weekend) he would always drink a little too much. But last weekend (Friday to Saturday) everything changed, we had a party because his brother turned 21 (legal drinking age is 18 here, so no super big alcohol party haha) but he got absolutely wasted. A friend of us made a joke that kinda fell wrong and he just lost it. In the beginning it looked like they were just playing, but then I saw my bf’s eyes and I knew he wasn’t planning to stop anytime soon and stepped in between them. He stormed upstairs (to his bed) and I went after him. He yelled at me for never taking his side (which I always do btw, but I had to do something, for our friend too) and that it would be better if I just left. I went downstairs to the party and about an hour later everyone left and I went to go to sleep, I don’t want to get into detail about what happened, but he went physical with me (no hitting) and I simply called my sister who drove an hour at 4 A.M. to get me. At 5 A.M. my sister arrived and we went back to her place. I just kept wondering what the f… went wrong and what I did. We broke up that night. Monday evening I saw him again. We talked lots and he said he would stop drinking. He said this millions of times before and he never did and when I asked him why he never did he said “Because you always stayed, now I’ve really lost you”. I went to his house on Wednesday to get my stuff and we again had a pretty heavy talk and he threw 2 bottles of alcohol thru the sink. He has lots more to go, but it looks like he’s really fixing his sh!t… I’m just terrified of going through this again. I really want it to be him, he and I really understand each other and always communicate about everything. I just want a little bit of knowledge about this kind of thing before getting myself into it again. He truly doesn’t mean any harm, but the alcohol always makes him a different person. But on the other hand he hadn’t had a single drop since then and doesn’t really drink when we’re alone.

Even though I’m closing this like this. I really don’t want any relationship advice. I just want to understand more about his thoughts, if he may be addicted or if something else is happening.

Thanks a lot for reading al the way through, I’m looking forward to the responses. Please feel free to ask any and all questions! I’m looking for a real conversation and open my mind to anything 🫶🏼

reddit.com
u/LazyGarlic8377 — 1 month ago