r/sextips

I'm a big girl so I prefer to grind. It hits my spots better

Hi guys,

This is my first time posting here, and I wanna start off by saying that English isn’t my first language, so my wording may not be the best. That being said I wanna get into my story.

For back story: I (21F) have had tension with this guy (we’ll call him “J” for the sake of the story) (21M) for years and years. We never really did anything, because we were obviously quite young. About 4 years went by and we both moved on with our lives. I got into a relationship with the sweetest most loving man I’ve ever encountered and we were in a relationship for 2,5 years when J slid back into my insta inbox. Of course I knew what he wanted, but it was very platonic and we always had been very good friends, just with a little tension. Anyways didn’t really think much of it. After a while he asked for my Snapchat and I found him on there. We started snapping, yes still platonic. I would like to add that I’ve always been transparent about this with my partner. We could really talk about these things and listen to one another. Of course things didn’t stay platonic (shocker…). We were talking pretty much every day and could both feel the tension building. About after a year of snapping he asked me to come over and I did. He picked me up and we had a really good time. No didn’t do anything, because I was still in a relationship at the time. He asked me to come over about two months later too and there is where the tension was inevitable. We both talked about it and cleared the air that I still have a boyfriend and don’t want to cheat on him. He understood and we went to bed (Yes in the same bed. Yes I only slept in my thong. Yes I know that’s fucked up)

Now here’s the thing: My (now) ex (22M) and I broke up early July after 4 years together. Our relationship was already over like 9 months before we broke up, we both knew that, but just didn’t have the guts to break up. We still are really really good friends. I was home alone last week from Tuesday through Sunday. I asked J to come over Tuesday and he did. We had a real good time together. Wednesday he came over again to go see the solar eclipse with my friends, then Saturday he came over to drink some wine together. He, of course, couldn’t drive home after drinking, so he slept at my house. The tension build up and he started choking me on the couch and kissed me! First time we ever kissed btw. In bed we kinda kissed some more and he started touching my boobs. We didn’t really go any further. Monday I was with my friends and J unexpectedly said he was coming too. I said he could stay at my house and so he did. We kissed some more and some more things. Last week I already told him that I was on my period so we could really do it (not for the first time anyways), so we again didn’t actually have sex, but I was naked grinding on his boxers (that where soaked afterwards). I told him his boxers were soaked and he took them off. Then he turned me around so I was on my back with him in between my legs and he started kissing me. With his cock agains my lower belly and pubic mouth, I honestly thought about ripping my menstrual cup up. After aggressively making out he slid his cock inside me, just the tip, because of my cup, but I honestly wanted so much more. He said he wouldn’t do it, just wanted to see my reaction. And honestly I loved it.

The problem is that J has a lot more experience than I do. I’ve only been with my ex and ex also only been with me. So we really only know that and hoped for the best haha. Now with J it’s different, because it’s just casual and nothing serious. I don’t want to be bad in bed or never hear from him after fucking. We genuinely have a good connections, and honestly don’t think he would do that, but it just makes me so insecure. After about 6/7 years of teasing and wanting each other I really don’t want to disappoint or anything. Anyone with tips, advice or support? I really need it hahaha

This might be a strange question, but when I have sex with my girlfriend, sometimes I actually prefer oral sex over regular intercourse. Is that weird? Don't get me wrong—I enjoy sex too—but oral sex is the most pleasurable for me, and I feel like my erection is strongest then. Is this common, or do I have a fetish?

​

A woman in her 50s, and i in my 30s, are planning on having sex.. but she has been suffering for years with stomach issues.. she can only eat canned tuna, carrots, and peas... every meal of every day. If she eats anything else it makes her feel bloated and crappy and fatigue.

Im worried about picking up her gut bacteria and coming down with what she deals with, or worse.

We wpuld have PIV sex, and give eachother oral, and she wants to give me analiguis, and i want to also.

Any ideas what it could be, and if im in danger having sex with her? She doesnt know.

Ty.

Not something deliberately sexual—just a look, gesture, tone of voice, outfit, or everyday habit that unexpectedly flips the switch. What is it for you?

I (19F) need some advice. I’m going to try to keep this short, but I feel like some context is important.

I’ve been kind of on-and-off with this guy (18M) for about 10 months. He’s a virgin, while I’m significantly more experienced. I’m also generally pretty comfortable and confident when it comes to intimacy.

We originally hung out, went to the movies, had a great time, kissed a little, and eventually things became more intimate when he came over a few days later. We were going to have sex, but we didn’t have protection available, so we decided not to and i ended up just giving him head and a few other things happened.

After that, we stopped talking. I’m not entirely sure why, but I have a few theories. I wondered if he felt embarrassed because he finished sooner than he had thought I’d expect (obviously I didn’t care), or if he got scared because he had previously said he didn’t want a relationship. I was completely fine with that because I didn’t want one either. There was also a possibility that he started talking to someone else.

I also heard through someone else that he said some not-so-nice things about me after our first intimate experience. I don’t know if that’s actually true because he never said anything to me directly. One of the things I heard was that he thought I smelled bad, which really bothered me because I’d never had anyone say that to me before. I have no idea whether it was actually true, whether he was embarrassed/insecure, or whether someone was exaggerating.

Now we’ve been talking again and have discussed potentially becoming intimate again. He seems noticeably nicer and more comfortable this time around, although maybe I’m just overthinking it.
I’m interested too, but I have some second thoughts.

My biggest concern is that because he’s inexperienced, I don’t know how comfortable he’ll be or how he’ll react. I want things to feel relaxed and positive rather than putting pressure on him to “perform” or making him feel embarrassed about being inexperienced. I also know first experiences can be awkward, and I’m completely okay with that.

At the same time, I’m a little worried about feeling judged myself. Even though I’m generally confident, I still have moments where I feel insecure, and I don’t know how he’ll react to things he’s unfamiliar with.

So I guess I’m looking for advice from people who have been in a similar situation. How do you make someone feel comfortable when they’re inexperienced without making a huge deal out of it? And how do you tell whether someone is genuinely ready versus just nervous or trying to prove something?

I’m not looking for judgment about either of our experience levels, just some perspective on how to approach the situation in a healthy way.

So I (19m) have been having sex with my gf (18f) for about 3 months. But this last time I lasted only like 5 mins before busting. We tried again later and then that wasn’t long either. Now every time I try to masturbate I don’t last very long as well. Is there something I’m doing wrong? I’m genuinely terrified this will cause strain in our relationship because she was sooo disappointed she didn’t get to finish with me. Any tips are appreciated 10000% tyyyy

Hi,

My partner and I have been together for over 10 years and care for each other deeply. We have great sex but I want him to initiate more and I want to feel that he wants me, desires me. He is more, shy I guess is the right term.

There have only been a few times that he has approached me with lust.

I love how much he cares for me and is gentle. I know he finds me attractive but the feeling of having him want me so bad that he has to have me is not really there.

I do not want to change who he is and this is not really a personality trait he really has. I also don't want him to feel that he does not satisfy me, cause he does.

We have talked in the past about how he likes when a woman takes what she wants. I just want to feel that from him as well, at least a little bit.

Since conversations have already happened, is there anything I can do to make him desire me more?

I've worn sexy outfits, given him peaks at my naked body as if I don't notice him looking. I just don't know if there is anything else I can do

My girlfriend recently told me she, sometimes, wants to be "fucked like a bitch" (literally her words". Thing is, it is a turn off for her if she feels like she then has to give me instructions or directions on how to. It would take from the feeling,I guess. So....any tips on what she MIGHT be referring to.

PS: I fully understand consent in the bedroom and would not spring something absolutely wild on her without checking in to make sure she is alright.

How do I tell this to my husband? I don't know why my body has evolved to this over time. I need to feel extra things, like pain, restriction, I need to feel like I can surrender (among other stuff) and I find it senseless to rub against each other until we (or more usually, he) cums. But he is closed to that type of sex and when I talked about things I'd like to try on the past he told me a clear no. How do I bring this up?

Hey guys, so I am hooking up with this new guy and and I have a question for the guys and girls(if you know something). What are the things someone can do while giving a bj that would make you cum almost immediately? Not the boring stuff, the really dirty ones. What would surprise you in a good way ?

I live 26 hours away from my bf and to keep the sex life going we usually just use hands and recently he brought up that he wants one that he can control when I’m gone or even with him. We have found one at Spencer’s that is wireless with a remote but not sure how well it would do. Has anyone tried wireless ones from Spencer’s and did they work for long distance and if not are there apps that can be used instead?

How does one last longer? Im not trying to go for any records or anything but a few more minutes of actual penatration wouldnt hurt. So some tips and tricks would be appreciated.

I 19F have recently got a boyfriend, but im scared to have sex with him cause i dont know how to have sex, how to move, what to do, etc. I'm not sure where to learn a but about it. Can someone help me? Im also scared im going to embarrass myself or do something weird or stupid and that i will be judged.

My boyfriend is a virgin so i don't know if he could teach me anything

Just wanting to get better at giving my woman better oral.
I guess I have never really been told what’s good/bad and have tried to figure it out myself.
Any advice?

I'm newly single but super horny. I have been touching myself but lately I feel like it's not fulfilling enough. I'm not really keen on sleeping with anyone just yet though.

Amy suggestions or thoughts?

Hi, I am kinda paranoid about sti-s because I had one bacterial infection and it was very hard to get rid of it because bacterias are getting so much resistant so I was on multiple rounds of all kinds of antibiotics and my microbiome in vagina is still not healthy as before. I am negative on tests, but still have a mild burning sensation and a mild yellow discharge and feeling insecure about it.

Besides, I read a lot of stories in a different reddit subs about infections that people cannot get rid of with antibiotics (ureaplasma, mycoplasma...) because it got so resistant.

I got the infection from a man that was my second partner ever (so bodycount is 2), it was an ONS and I was just stupid and belived him that he is healthy and only had one relationship for years....

When it comes to looking for a new partner I am scared because a condom is not a 100% protective, nobody wants to do orals with protection.

One boy even proposed a threesome with one other girl but I refused because he can wear a condom and be protected but still can transmit something from other girl into me so how is it possible to have a protected sex in threesomes?

How do you handle protection? Do you ask every partner for a sti test, do you wear protection only for penetration or for orals as well or do you just risk and hope for the best?

Do all penises have a noticeable natural smell/taste when the foreskin is retracted, or can there be quite a lot of variation from person to person?

I remember being with someone years ago and never finding his smell unpleasant, whereas with my current partner I've always found the natural smell under the foreskin quite strong and unpleasant, even when he's just showered. I'm trying to figure out whether this is just individual variation, something about my own sensitivity, or whether his smell might actually be unusual.

I love giving my bf blowjobs, it turns me on so much and he loves it. I’ve been out of town for a week and when I get back I want to do something extra. I love deep throating him and being face fucked but I’m wondering if there is anything extra I can do to make the blowjob extra special. My bf is very dominant and I love being submissive. Any tips or advice on how to spice it up? We already incorporate spit, slapping, choking.

F26 married (secretly bi) here and I’ve been masturbating a lotttt recently especially to people on Reddit and flingster and I get soooo worked up to an extent that I can feel my body warming up and my face gets really flushed but I can never bring myself to squirt ,I really wanna learn and get myself to squirt but I don’t know how to go on about that and I can’t be too loud while doing it since I live with family! Any tips?