u/Complete-Cod-1997

How do I tell this to my husband? I don't know why my body has evolved to this over time. I need to feel extra things, like pain, restriction, I need to feel like I can surrender (among other stuff) and I find it senseless to rub against each other until we (or more usually, he) cums. But he is closed to that type of sex and when I talked about things I'd like to try on the past he told me a clear no. How do I bring this up?

I have to quit drinking coffee, but I can't. It is summer, I sleep terribly because of heat, and I'm destroyed when ai wake up in the morning. I can't sit and work on my computer feeling like that. So I have a coffee. It feels good at first, then I start to have brain fog. So after lunch, I try to have a nap so the brain fog goes way but I can't because my brain is overactive. So I spend the rest of the day in a dissociative state which I hate. Sometimes I even drink another cup because my husband is serving himself a cup and asks me. Every day the same. I tried to quit a couple days ago and failed. The worst thing is I'm already stressed because of life, and coffe is not helpful a lot. My skin is super dry and I'm having acne, heart palpitations, I gain belly fat... i know coffee is poison for me but every morning I feel I can't start my day without it. Any advice? I've quit cold turkey for a couple times and been able to quit and say "why did I like this s***? But here I am. I think heat could be the main cause why im finding it so hard. so hard. Could I reply with cocoa on the meantime?

My husband works as a gardener, that means he has a lot of work from may to september. I understand it is exhausting to work under the sun, although he is now being more a boss than a worker, since he hired two coworkers. I work from home, creating digital products for my online shop. I do absolutely all the house chores and understand my husband is phisycally more tired than me during summer, so I don't ask him anything but be considerate with his stuff, for example, he gets home and gets naked in the living room just to get to the bathroom to have a shower, and leaves the floor dirty, as he usually has dirt on his socks and under his shoes. I've told him to get naked on the bathroom instead of living his stinky clothes on the living room's table. He spends the day on the sofa, on his phone, and never does small stuff like helping to clean up the table after eating. He eats something, throws the dirt to the floor or leaves empty glasses there (I almost had an accident yesterday because I put my foot on a glass he left there). He never towels off before going out from the shower, he just goes out and leaves the floor all wet, as if that was a normal thing to do. Even doesn't take a towel with him and asks me for one when he finished. He practically lives in a hotel and I'm his 24h maid. Am I asking too much if I ask him to keep his things in place and help me a little bit from time to time? I would be happy if he behaved like the home matters to him just a little bit. He never cleans up the cat's vomit, for example, as if he was a five year old and calls me everytime. Can't he just shut up and take a napkin? (But he religiously cleaned up the bunny's cage of his ex). He doesn't even help me on winter, when he has a lotttt of free time because it rains, but he says taking care of having wood for the stove is enough. I'm tired of living like this. But maybe I am just being selfish. At the end of the day I spend my time just working. Working on the computer is mentally exhausting, even if my husband thinks I'm playing there. I have a lot of details to keep in mind and the worry of earning my own money to survive in a country that is not my natal one (I'm alone here) but from his point of view I live a comfortable life and should be the happiest wife. Same happens in bed, he lays there and thinks he deserves to be served and should be the happiest wife too, because from his point of view he is my gift. Is this normal?

I've been on and off writing a book. But everytime I start writing again, I become completely obsessed, I can't think about anything else and I just want to sit down, write and don't be bothered by anyone. I can literally write and edit all day long, no matter how tired I am. Then I forget about it for weeks, when I have other work to do. Does it happen to you too?

Most of times during oral sex, my husband cums and feels lots of pleasure when I apply pressure with my lips around the base of his penis, does is happen to all men? I always thought that part of the penis wasn't specially sensitive.

I'm always on and off caffeine. Caffeine affects me a lot, causing acne, belly fat and it clearly affects mybody and mind in a negative way. But I always come back to it because I like a cup before going to the gym, specially in summer, it is hot and heat lowers my blood pressure. I feel I need it to function. But I have high cortisol and insulin resistance and coffee is not a good idea at all. I love that when I go decaf my skin glows and nothing disturbs my peace. But I forget about it when I gave the cup in front of me. Do you have any advice?

My husband is not interested in this dynamic, or at least in doings things that are outside from what we normally do. I love being submissive and the times that he accidentally has put me in that position have felt incredible, my body opens instantly and just feels safe to feel. I normally have a lot of trouble in letting go and feeling. But when we've talked about this on the past, my husband just closed off and told me I'm a masochist, so I know he is just not interested on any of this. I love him and think he is a good person but I also feel this need. In which ways could I explore being submissive by my side when I'm with him?

I tried it for the second time and I felt my body was vibrating in waves, but the waves were emanating from my pc muscles, is that normal? My eyes would make some rapid movements and some muscles twitched. I started panicking when I felt some body parts go off because I was thinking I was going to leave my body or die if I put my heart and organs to sleep, then I started to get paranoid of being vulnerable to some entity, and I couldn't rest too much on that state. Is that focus 10? How can you concentrate in that state? How can I leave those fears?

Hi, I just wanted to share this in case someone finds it helpful. I noticed chanting om helps me go deeper into a meditative state, but the trick for me was letting the jaw loose while starting to chant the vocal, whatever the sound is, without worring if it sound like a or o or whatever, then slowly closing the jaw to reach the m and letting whatever sound it comes without trying to control how it sounds. I use to start it while following a video on youtube, then letting my own breathing rythm, with each om I can feel how my mind shuts down more and more. Just wanted to share ☺️

My husband doesn't share that kink. Whenever we've talk about this in the past, I end up feeling embarrased about myself. So I have some tools to use on myself and I feel bad for hiding them, but I honestly don't feel like showing him anything. I wonder if he would have the right to be upset with me if he discovered them, or discover signs in my body that I inflicted myself. Is it a betrayal inside a relationship?

Tldr: have bdsm tools to use on myself, but my husband doesn't know.

I'd like to know how I could introduce bdsm to my partner in a way that doesn't feel intimidating. He knows I like to feel pain and we've discussed it but he never does things in a way that really hurt, and I only ask him things like stroking my nipples harder or grabbing my breasts harder. He sometimes chokes me, which I've never asked him and it's not even a real choke, he just lays his hand there, because that's what he watches in porn and think it's normal behaviour, so he thinks that's ok and what I ask him is not. And choking is precisely a thing that I'm not attracted to but I just let him because he seems happy doing it. I've asked him if he would spank me and the answer is no. And I think he has more fear than anything because he is thinking he suddenly has to behave in an extreme way and be a person he is not. What could I do?

I have super dry hands (I read that when cortisol lowers, your skin produces less sebum), but on the other hand, I saw today egg white ovulation mucus, which I only see when I quit caffeine by the way. Which weird effects do you notice when you quit?

I'm trying to go decaf (I've only had two decaf coffees in 4 days, the most I've quit coffee was for 3 months and I'm always on and off), and today I had to drive, but I felt really unfocused, as if my reaction time was a bit delayed, does it happen to you?

On the other hand I love that I'm not anxious, I feel tired but not in fight or flight mode with my heart racing and hyperventilating, I'm always in this battle with coffee because it makes me feel so bad, I quit it but for some reason I decide to have one coffee and I get so addicted.

I also feel like I can control myself more, I'm not as interested in eating sugar and bad carbs, and even get annoyed of scrolling on my phone while on coffee I can be hours and hours.