u/LazyStone_

I would want to find some, maybe open world, maybe sort of rpg indie game that doesnt really have a story or a need to be focused on it while playing. Maybe to watch a video, or to listen to an audiobook on background. For some reason one of the games that comes to my mind rn is "Goblet Grotto". I dont even like it that much, but some similar feel would be nice. "jalopy" is also a really nice game for that

Anybody has anything to suggest? Thank you

Not sure what do i want to say here cause i can talk about different things, but im becoming more and more hopeless about the whole "closeness" thing

When i say "closeness" i mean friendship and romance

for 4 years i had no friends till finally forced myself to join a gamejam (gamejam is a contest where you, sometimes as a team, have to make a game on a specific topic in a limited amount of time) some months ago, and in that team i met a guy that we're still friends with

Joining that gamejam was the best decision of my life probably and i value that friend dearly, but lately i was getting frustrated with that i dont feel too much closeness with him

Its not because of him, its just that we're been only chatting, partly because im scared to speak, and thats partly because i stutter really bad when i speak english (and because of my social anxiety) and partly because my situation rn doesnt allow me to do voice chat thing for much, so we've been just chatting and he was streaming some shows to me while we were talking in chat

Its extremely nice and its more connection than i got in years, , but this is not really enough for me, and its also hard to know when im being annoying cause i would want to talk for a long time, but he rarely asks questions so it can feel like i force it

We were watching stuff together every few days before, but now its been like a month now, so it makes me a bit sad

Im trying to figure out how much of the connection is not annoying to him. I know that im not always annoying to him but its hard to know about each specific moment

I just want closeness with someone so much but idk how to get it

It also goes for a romantical thing, but i have no idea how to even start that, so idk if i even will have that

Im 19, so im really young, but the prospect of my life doesnt give me hope

Maybe if someone here has some advice, or just want to chat about that, im up to that

i guess i will have to get out of my comfort zone to some extent, thats how i got this friend, but its just so scary, and adding everything else in my life, just makes me a bit depressed

Please give me some advice, thanks

This is my first time in therapy. I started like a week ago. I have different problems, not just social anxiety, but i guess this is the main one

Ngl, im pretty frustrated with my therapist. Im not saying that she could do much better, but still frustrated. I pay $50 on betterhelp (yes i know they sell your data. That what you pay with if you're poor), and its a lot for someone hearing me out and saying to meditate/do exercise/try to find friends and so on. I do text therapy btw.

Should i change my therapist?

Btw, i dont want to seem mean about my therapist. She's nice, just i think therapy is limited to you saying something, them saying something, and youre done, session over

This is a very low value post, but i guess i wanted to share my experience