u/Lazy_Term_7356

Husband is really sick, and with that comes his short tempted. I told him in the past that I’m thinking of leaving, and that made his sickness worse due to stress. Two days ago we were arguing he told me he needed to know what the status of our marriage was, we both got super mad and started yelling. He then poured some soda on my face, I started screaming. I started to pack my stuff, he kept asking ne to stay and I would yell No No No. He then started pushing me to sit on the bed every time I tried to get up. Neighbors heard the yelling called the landlord then my family. I left to stay with a friend, he is begging me to come back. Says he will go to therapy, fix our situation and go everything needed he doesn’t mind we stay separated for 6 months to a year. What should I do?

I (32F) have been married to my husband (32M) since 2018. Over the last six years, I feel like the entire weight of our life has fallen on my shoulders.

His family was against our marriage from the start and did some really toxic things to us. When we moved away, he went into a severe depression for two years, and for the past three years he’s been dealing with physical health issues. Because of all this, he hasn't done much work, and we’ve built up a huge amount of debt just paying for basic things like rent and the car.

To keep us afloat, I work a really physical job—10-hour overnight shifts, 60 hours a week. I’ve even had to sell my wedding ring and all my gold jewelry just so we could survive. Meanwhile, his family disowned him for years, but recently started talking to him again like nothing ever happened. Our life is completely on pause. We don't go out or do anything, we just stay home.

Things have gotten unbearable at home:

He has gotten physical with me a few times, like pushing me or hitting me in the head. He always blames me for it, saying I "pushed him to do it" because of things I said when we argued, like telling him he wasn't acting like a man.

He calls me names, tells me I don't care, and says he's the only one fighting for the relationship. He also accuses me of using him just to get citizenship, completely ignoring everything I’ve sacrificed for us.

Worst of all, I’ll come home completely exhausted after working a 10-hour night shift just wanting to sleep, and he’ll decide that's the right time to start arguments that last for hours.

My family tells me I've been patient enough. We’re 32, we have no kids, and our life has been stuck for years. I originally thought I would wait until his health got better before leaving, but I honestly can't take this anymore. He once told me that if I wanted a divorce I needed to sit with his family and explain to them or he will not sign the divorce papers.

Right now, I feel completely lost and confused. My mind keeps flipping back and forth between "I need to leave right now" and "what am I even going to do?" I feel so guilty thinking about leaving while he's sick, but mentally and physically, I'm at my absolute limit. I just don't see a future with him anymore.

Has anyone been in a situation like this and managed to get out and rebuild, especially with shared debt, guilt, and no energy left? How do I even start?

I (32F) have been married to my husband (32M) since 2018. Over the last six years, I feel like the entire weight of our life has fallen on my shoulders.

His family was against our marriage from the start and did some really toxic things to us. When we moved away, he went into a severe depression for two years, and for the past three years he’s been dealing with physical health issues. Because of all this, he hasn't done much work, and we’ve built up a big amount of debt just paying for basic things like rent and the car.

To keep us afloat, I work a really physical job—10-hour overnight shifts, 60 hours a week. I’ve even had to sell my wedding ring and all my gold jewelry just so we could survive. Meanwhile, his family disowned him for years, but recently started talking to him again like nothing ever happened. Our life is completely on pause. We don't go out or do anything, we just stay home.

Things have gotten unbearable at home:

He has gotten physical with me a few times, like pushing me or hitting me in the head. He always blames me for it, saying I "pushed him to do it" because of things I said when we argued, like telling him he wasn't acting like a man.

He calls me names, tells me I don't care, and says he's the only one fighting for the relationship. He also accuses me of using him just to get citizenship, completely ignoring everything I’ve sacrificed for us.

Worst of all, I’ll come home completely exhausted after working a 10-hour night shift just wanting to sleep, and he’ll decide that's the right time to start arguments that last for hours.

My family tells me I've been patient enough. We’re 32, we have no kids, and our life has been stuck for years. I originally thought I would wait until his health got better before leaving, but I honestly can't take this anymore.

Right now, I feel completely lost and confused. My mind keeps flipping back and forth between "I need to leave right now" and "what am I even going to do?" I feel so guilty thinking about leaving while he's sick, but mentally and physically, I'm at my absolute limit. I just don't see a future with him anymore. He blames my family for me wanting to end the marriage, says the day I leave he doesn’t care and would go confront them and say all what he’s been holding on to.

Has anyone been in a situation like this and managed to get out and rebuild, especially with shared debt, guilt, and no energy left? How do I even start? He has done many sacrifices in the past and that makes me feel guilty.