AITA for getting mad at my poly wife?
I (28) and my wife (30) have been together for 5 years. Officially married for 2. I knew from the moment we started dating that my wife is bisexual. However, it wasn’t until last year that she expressed that she is poly. Big bomb to drop on me but I tried to be understanding and support her. I am more in the one person only kinda guy but after a long conversation we agreed to try poly dating. We set rules and boundaries. Main thing was, not actively look for it, if it happens, happens. When it happens or we think it will happen, we will communicate with each other.
Fast forward to last week, 3 days before my birthday she tells me she’s going on a date with a guy. She tells me about it and she is excited. Again, no biggie, I tried to be supportive. Next day, she tells me she’s going to spend the night at one of her friends place since they haven’t seen each other in a while.
For personal reasons I don’t like this friend and I didn’t like the idea but it’s he friend so what can I do?
However, something feels off. We both have each others location and my gut thought something was off. I checked her location and she was at a hotel. You guessed, with the dude. So I texted her about it and after a while she says she’s coming home.
At this point I felt lied to and blindsided because we agreed to share things like this. I expressed my feelings as calmly as possible and she apologized for it. This is also when I confronted her about having a dating app profile and not telling me about it. I saw it by accident opened on her phone when I walked by her. So we talked about that and we cleared things out.
So now I know about the dating profile. I notice her also being more engaging in Snapchat. She tells me she’s talking to at least 3 guys. Even a couple. At this point it’s cool. I guess she’s making progress
However now that I see her texting them basically all the time I started to feel neglected, ignored. The more she’s texting them the more it takes me to get a bit of her attention. She was even texting them on my birthday.
She then tells me she’s planning on doing an activity that we both agreed months ago we wanted to do together as a couple as it would be a first time for both of us. But she seems eager to just go do it with this random dude.
So basically at this point I am feeling like I am not even the second option. That what I give her, emotionally and probably physically is not enough. I want to support her but at this point it feels she’s looking for fuck buddies and emotional connection with someone else and just have me there as the safe option when she’s done and tired of playing with them.