u/LeadingSuspect5855

Monthy Python: The argument sketch.

Monthy Python: The argument sketch.

written in flow. the whole argument here: https://python.mzonline.com/sketches/argument/

Man: Good morning, I’d like to have an argument, please.

Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?

Man: No, this is my first time.

Receptionist: I see, well we’ll see who’s free at the moment. Mr. Bakely’s free, but he’s a little bit concilliatory. No. Try Mr. Barnhart, room 12.

Man: Thank you.

He enters room 12.

Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?

Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that…

Angry man: DON’T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!

Man: What?

A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS STUFFY-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!

M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!

A: OH! Oh! I’m sorry! This is abuse!

M: Oh! Oh I see!

A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.

M: Oh…Sorry…

A: Not at all!

A(under his breath) stupid git.

The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.

Man: Is this the right room for an argument?

Other Man(pause) I’ve told you once.

Man: No you haven’t!

Other Man: Yes I have.

M: When?

O: Just now.

M: No you didn’t!

O: Yes I did!

M: You didn’t!

O: I did!

M: You didn’t!

O: I’m telling you, I did!

M: You didn’t!

O(breaking into the developing argument) Oh I’m sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?

M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.

O: Just the five minutes. Thank you. Anyway, I did.

M: You most certainly did not!

O: Now let’s get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

progressively faster exchange

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN’T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN’T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN’T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh look, this isn’t an argument!

(pause)

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn’t!

(pause)

M: It’s just contradiction!

u/LeadingSuspect5855 — 1 day ago
▲ 6 r/FastWriting+1 crossposts

Quote 91 in FLOW

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.

— Benjamin Franklin

Written in this weeks featured, community created shorthand Flow.

u/LeadingSuspect5855 — 1 day ago
▲ 5 r/FastWriting+1 crossposts

Status quo

Pitman is a positional system, that means as soon as you put a letter on your lined paper you write a syllable. You can put your consonant on the line and it will represent consonant + either e|eɪ|ʌ|ō. To make clear which one of the choices you really mean, pitman uses diacritica placed before or after the literal, thus also indicating reverse syllable or simple syllable.

Imagine you ignore diacritica for a moment, then pitman has 3 levels representing:

[æ ɒ ɑː ɔː aɪ ɔɪ
ɛ ʌ eɪ əʊ/oʊ
ɪ ʊ iː uː ju aʊ]

or a bit simplified and ordered

a ī o oy
e eɪ ʌ ō
i u ū aʊ

So interestingly Pitman would put "bet" and "bate" on the same level! Something that I believed only us german speaking people would put together. But Pitman was aware of the phonographic familiarity in that regard.

You may not be aware consciously, but the english vowels are those which i call strong [a o], weak [e ʌ] (including all kinds of colored schwa sounds not only ʌ) and the lifting [i u]. And if you combine the strong and weak with the lifting vowels you get practically all diphthongs used in english including those you anglophone call long vowels.

Interestingly Pitman was aware of that it seems, at least he chose to match the levels:

strong
weak
lifting

Now Pitman has chosen to put diphthongs on the levels too per default, so

strong + [i]
weak + [i] | [o] + [u]
lifting + [u] | [a] + [u]

As you see the diphthongs use either i or u. So I could make Pitmans systems a bit easier by introducing just two diacritica, so I can make up all the diphtongs? Let's do this:

Introducing diacritica for lifting vowels

DOT • shall be the [i] dot. and DASH - represents [u]

That way my positional vowel system looks like this

strong + [i, u]
weak + [i, u]
lifting + [i, u]

Now we still have to decide whether the vowel comes before or after the consonant. Well for the diphthongs we just do what pitmaniacs always did, put the dot or dash in front of the literal. What about the others? We could use another diacriticum! rotate the dash, thick dot, or a tiny hook?

Introducing diacritica for the remaining vowels to represent preceding vowels

tiny hooks could be the first and second vowel in the respective level, but since you can rotate hooks we can also all of them ⊂⊃∩∪! Lets do this:

[a, o] -- ∩ ⊃
[e, ʌ] -- ⊂ ∪

Well that looks like a svastika, which is the sign for prosperity and luck in all countries with culture!

Testing on all 3 levels:

"bat": bt, "about": ∩b-t, "boat": b⊃t, " I'm ": •m, "our": -r
"bet, but, butt": bt, "bate": b•t
"bit": bt, "beat":b•t, "boot": b-t,"you'r": -r

What do you think? I think it's pretty neat! Let me know...

reddit.com
u/LeadingSuspect5855 — 19 days ago