u/Leading_Line2741

To start, I'm not looking to move anytime soon. I'm just a person who has lived in one area my entire life and would consider someday living somewhere else.

For background: I live in Hampton Roads, VA. While again, I've been here my entire life and am kinda sick of it, it's not awful: mild Winters overall, beach less than an hour away, mountains about 3 hours away, decent schools (as always, depending on the specific area), and you can still find a decent house for less than $600k (which may sound exorbitant to some, but hold my non-existent beer...), moderate politically.

As most seem to, I was wondering if there is a coastal area somewhere in the US that isn't insanely expensive or in the deep South (NO to their Summers and politics). So I started researching and...whoa. I looked at the West Coast and between the cost and the fires? Nah. Looked at the Northeast and, "reasonable" seems to be less than a mil for a single family home. One example was a thread referring to Beverly, MA as, "reasonable" price-wise but when I looked up house prices? Good lord...also nah.

Is this true? Are there no decent (by my definition above-I know this is subjective) coastal areas where small homes aren't approaching a mil that isn't in a deep red state? Again, more curious than anything.

To add: by coastal I mean less than an hour to a beach and by reasonable I mean that you can find a decent-sized (maybe 1500 SQ. ft. min.) home for less than 500 or 600k.

Hola, all!

Background: I'm 38 (turning 39 next Feb). I had my daughter in July of 2025. The pregnancy and recovery went ok (scheduled c-section due to cholestasis-zero morning sickness but itchy as all hell for the last 4 months of my pregnancy). My baby girl is about a 4 on the difficulty scale, if 10 is the most difficult.

I'm contemplating whether to have a second ​right now because I always said, if I did, the latest I would want to do so would be at 39 (just my opinion there). Upfront, I'm 80% sure the answer is no but as the, "deadline" draws closer I find myself questioning it. Here's the breakdown:

Pros:

-Rock solid marriage to a true partner. Been together for 16 years and love him now more than ever.

-We make good $ together. We aren't rich, but we pull in $250k in a MCOL area.

-Our house has the space.​

-I have a pretty flexible job.

Cons:

-Zero support system. No family to help at all, so any daycare we have to pay for.

-Our house isn't in a neighborhood. We're in a town and have a huge yard that backs to the woods, but no neighbor kids to play with.

-Personal one, but Idk if I could handle a difficult baby. My little girl is pretty chill overall and I'm fairly certain I won't get that lucky twice.

Overall, I'm just trying to discern if a 2ND is worth truly considering or if I'm letting FOMO and talk of kids needing a sibling (particularly when not in a bustling neighborhood with kids) get to ​me. ​Also, the lack of a support system is hitting hard. Right now my husband I can trade off and get breaks as needed. You can't really do that with 2.

I just keep wondering a little as the time grows closer if I should be giving my kid a sibling. Again, I'm leaning toward no but am unsure. I'll take any insight here. Thanks in advance!​