u/LeftDelivery5170 — reddlx

I’ve been going through one of the hardest periods of my life, because of our relationship that has gone from such a joy to such a painful part of my life.

We started long distance a few months ago, and things were great at first. But after he moved for work, his communication became inconsistent. I asked him to let me know before he isn’t available to talk, but he said it was too hard to manage with his daily life. We then agreed to talk at a set time each day, but that quickly fell apart—he would go missing, or have social plans without informing me.

Eventually, we argued again, and he suggested turning the relationship into something low effort with no expectations until I move back in a few months, to reduce the turmoil we were experiencing so that we can resume our relationship. I communicated that I’m not comfortable with the idea, but he insisted it’s all he can handle right now.

Since then, he’s initiated contact once or twice a week. Conversations drag out and die, until one of us initiates contact again. Recently, I reached out and he mentioned work stress, but when I asked about it, he never replied.

I feel lost and honestly devastated at what this has turned into. Now the uncertainty and silence are wearing me down, and I feel so helpless because there is no middle ground left to find.

I know staying sounds extremely foolish and naive, but I still love him, and he said he does too. We were both open and honest with each other in our arguments, and we are hoping this is merely a rough patch stemming from long distance and things will get better in person. But I’m losing my wits just to meet his comfort, and I’m very scared that there will be nothing left to the relationship by the time we reunite.

I’m unsure if I’m venting or asking for advice, but I’d really appreciate any words. Thank you so much for your time.