Lowkey dislike how some jobs require professional references as a student…
I’m currently in university and I’m finding the "professional reference" requirement to be such an obstacle like a wall or a mountain. I have zero job experience and as an introvert who has always been naturally shy and quiet, I haven’t made any "professional connections" yet.
I’ve been trying to put myself out there, but every door feels closed off. I tried to sign up to volunteer at my local library, but they required an interview process and I didn't get in. I also looked into joining some clubs on campus to hopefully build a network, but they all require a $45+ entry fee. Also with my family being in a tight financial spot, I honestly can’t justify spending that kind of money on a club fee right now.
It’s very frustrating because, I have cousins close to my age, but they have always had everything handed to them. They live a very “wealthy” life filled with designer stuff and expensive cars, while their parents refuse to help with our grandpa. Even when they do visit him, they only stay for a few minutes before leaving and they completely ignored the serious concerns my parents have been raising since 2023. It’s hard to even think about asking them for a bit of help or even for “connections” because, they live in such a different world and never had to struggle for anything while my parents and I carry the entire burden of caregiving ourselves.
Things were actually much better when our grandma was still alive. She loved my dad dearly and would immediately defend him if anyone tried to belittle him, but once she passed away in late 2022, the family dynamic shifted completely. Ever since 2023, my parents have been begging my aunt and uncle to help out because, my grandpa has been struggling with his health and safety. He frequently leaves the stove on and burns food, wastes water/electricity, and even broke the shower faucet recently. He also wanders outside at night with a lantern for no reason like just standing still, which is incredibly dangerous. Plus, he also constantly turns on multiple tvs in different rooms only to leave them running while he stays elsewhere (I’m talking main living room tv and he goes to his bedroom and turns on another and just stays there). Despite my parents constantly trying to communicate how dangerous and draining this situation has become, we have received no support at all.
My parents have even reached the point where they feel completely ignored by them. My mom has told my dad that it seems like they will only open their eyes to the danger IF once my parents, my brother, and I all “die” in a house fire caused by his behavior.
What makes this even harder is that my dad is the eldest biological son, yet he has no authority in his own family and receives no respect. Like me, he has a very quiet personality and it feels like my aunt and uncle are taking advantage of his silence. It’s also deeply ironic because my aunt and uncle constantly complain about their own aunts and uncles, yet they have become exactly like the people they claim to hate. Out of the siblings and extended family (from dad’s side), only a two of them have ever shown my dad any real care. The rest act exactly like my aunt and uncle, indifferent to the struggle.
It feels like the system is designed for people who already have money or pre-existing networks. How are people like me, who don’t have a network or extra cash, supposed to get their foot in the door? Has anyone else felt this way or figured out a way around it?
TL;DR: I’m an introverted student struggling to land my first job because, I have no professional network. On top of that, I’m stuck in a draining family crisis where I’m one the primary caregivers for my grandfather and my extended family is completely ignoring the dangerous situation my parents and I are in. Feeling overwhelmed and looking for any advice on how to move forward.