u/Legitimate-Log5389

My gf and I have been dating for about 5 months now and the first two were really good. Almost no fighting, doing everything together. It was really nice ( granted the honeymoon stage almost always is).

But then, everything changed. I noticed she started to nitpick certain things about me. Whether it was what I decided to wear, what I decided to eat or drink, if I chose to go to the gym or something without her. It all started to build up on me. It felt like I was constantly in court basically, defending myself.

She’s a very analytical, logical person, and I’m the opposite. I’ve told her on multiple occasions that I feel she nitpicks me too hard and when she does, she has a tendency to talk down to me.

Now context, I know it’s not all her fault that our relationship has been strained. I made some poor choices when I was single before her that have come back to bite me in the ass, which in turn has affected her. I’ve hurt her trust due to that and lying a few times about stuff (a conflict avoidance trait I have had and have been working hard to undue and unlearn). She also has external factors such as her dad passing, and she’s been grieving him which I understand and have tried to do everything I can to help her and give her some room on that.

We’ve talked about this stuff before multiple times, and have even agreed to therapy soon (within the next two weeks or so, work schedules get in the way). But we had an argument last night about something very similar that I felt like I was being nitpicked and that she was overreacting a bit, which caused me to lash out a little and say something rude. The rest of the conversation became about how I take everything as an attack and that she’s just trying to help and that I don’t need to be rude to her back (which I apologized for because I do know that isn’t acceptable). But when it came to my side and apologizing for the way I felt she reacted to me, it took almost 45 minutes and me bringing it up again just for her to kind of apologize.

There’s just been this feeling in my stomach that something isn’t right, that relationships are not supposed to be THIS hard, and I’m truly wondering if it’s simply coming down to we’re incompatible and we need to look for other people who can give us what each of us need.

Tl:dr- my gf and I have been fighting constantly and I’m getting to the point where I feel we are simply incompatible.