u/Legitimate-Thanks985

Does anybody else experience their mothers guilt tripping and manipulating you to believe that if you do not speak with her or see her enough or respond to texts fast enough that they are going to literally off themselves?

My mom has always used me as her emotional support my entire life and I never realized how wrong it was until I moved out in 2020 and ever since then it got so much worse. Every time she goes off on me randomly (like to an extreme as if I intentionally want to hurt her) I ghost her for either a few days or sometimes a couple months then when we come back together she tells me how she had a whole plan to off herself. I never took it aimed towards me for some reason until lately.

Earlier this year we went two weeks without talking and she said she left the door unlocked the day she was gonna do it so that I could get in to check on her and find her in the bathroom. She also wondered if I’d ever even think to come check on her and how long her body would be there. We talked a little bit about how that affects me but surface level.

Three months ago, I completely cut her off because it got so bad accusing me of doing things and making me feel bad about myself that I couldn’t handle it anymore. Anyway, she’s started sending me messages on Facebook this past week saying that she loves me and she misses me and then sends me a reel of a girl singing a song to her mom in heaven that she wishes was still here and saying sorry I didn’t come see you more. HOW FUCKED.

Of course I freaking worry if she will because she’s legit tried it twice and failed. So I started spiraling and eventually just asked her “why did you send me this?”. No response back, just now seeing her post stupid ass TikTok’s about “this is me and you get what you get”.

Btw I have an extreme back injury from getting hit by someone on the highway (learned that day that she took me off our insurance that I help pay for TWO days before without telling me) which has me completely maxed out emotionally and physically so adding this to it made me feel every emotion possible today.

I’m 26 and have been dealing with chronic pain for just about 3.5 years now. It got tremendously worse after a really bad car wreck a few months ago that resulted in many herniated discs, an awful concussion, nerve damage, etc.

I feel like my life has been taken from me this year- I have missed out on so many big things, I cannot stand long enough to cook for myself (I LOVE cooking), showering hurts and scares the shit out of me, I’ve been an artist for 10ish years and now I can barely do a simple coloring page, I can barely pick up my cats, can no longer sleep with my boyfriend of 7 years in our bed bc it hurts my back, I don’t know how to verbally converse the way I used to, have unwillingly pushed family and friends out bc I just don’t have the thoughts or energy to keep up, etc etc etc

I would absolutely love to talk to or just see a comment from anyone who can relate. It has gotten to a very lonely and sad point that I feel like I’ve completely lost grip of the fun, careless, always happy girl I was before.

And if anybody needs someone to lean on and be listened to- I am here. I’m basically a couch potato at this point so please!