What was THE event, conversation, or phrase that finally made you leave your narc for good?
I kept seeing the signs from my narc ex (together for 1.5 years) and finally had THE conversation where I realized I couldn’t keep doing it anymore. I was clinging to him, and the thought of letting go scared me. The thought of never hearing or seeing him again physically pained me. But then it got to the point where walking away hurt LESS than staying, and I never thought I’d ever get to that point.
My conversation was when he discarded me for the umptienth time but said we could still be friends and that I could always reach out. It was like something inside my brain just clicked, and I realized this man still wanted access to my energy, just without the responsibility of caring or being a decent human being. He wanted me to chase and beg and plead without him reciprocating any kindness in return. It was all on his terms disguised as kindness, and that was when the lightbulb went off. I know it sounds dumb because I should’ve realized it sooner during all the other times he hurt me. I knew hew wasn’t good for me, but I stayed. That last conversation freed me. And the dumb thing? That was not the worst thing he’d ever done to me by far. You’d think all the other horrific abuse would’ve woken me up. It was a simple conversation disguised as kindness.
What about you? What was your wake up call?