u/Legitimate_Lychee376

I’m ftmtx, I transitioned to male at 14, thinking that I simply has to be that. There was no way someone could look like me, act like me, be like me, and be a cis woman. I thought I looked far too masculine, and I hated fitting into the patriarchal standard of womanhood. In order to survive this life, I had to live it as a man. It’s safer, it’s what I should be, not what I want to be. And I confused this for gender dysphoria. I mean, maybe it was? I can never be sure, I can never go back into my teenage mind and understand why going on hormones and getting surgery felt so important, but it did.

Now that I’m in my mid 20s, and have deconstructed a lot of what it means to be a man or a woman in society, I’ve realized I don’t NEED to conform to anything, people will either respect me or they won’t, trying to pretend to be a man won’t make me any happier. And in that process, I’ve related a lot to trans women, in how they describe accepting their female identity? I would never call myself a trans woman of course, but as someone that lived as a man for almost a decade, and now is transitioning to a more feminine identity, and doesn’t mind being called a woman, it just feels like there’s so much relatability to their experiences. (As someone who’s been close friends with a lot of trans women, this is how I’ve gotten to know their experience a bit more intimately)

On top of that, I really don’t relate to cis women. I have two cis sisters, and the way they’ve always known and accepted their identity, it’s just so foreign to me. I have to make genuine efforts to pass as a woman now, and sometimes, society doesn’t view me as a woman, no matter what I do. Yet I still persist, I won’t go back to living life as a man, as it’s not my truth.

I hope none of this comes off as too strange or problematic. I’m wondering if anyone else feels this way?

I’m ftmtnb, and I had top surgery not once, but twice, and I absolutely have hated the results both times. First time, the guy didn’t take enough tissue out (and was also extremely lopsided), second time the new guy took too much and gave me a sunken look. I feel extremely stupid for all of it, and honestly I just want to look normal and human again, and I really do miss having breasts.

I assumed I could trust both surgeons since they both were from Mayo Clinic, yknow, one of the biggest most respected hospitals in the world?

Now I live in a different part of Minnesota, and I’ve been wanting breast reconstruction for over a year, but I’m just so scared. I live in a smaller city but there are several surgeons I can choose from that are covered by my insurance. But none of them really have reviews online I can find, since it’s a more niche surgery, and a smaller town. I don’t want to travel for the surgery, as I really don’t have the support system for that.

But I really don’t want to live like this much longer, I want to feel beautiful and confident again, I want to be my true self.

Do I just take Another risk and hope this next surgeon won’t botch me? It’s really scary. I’m really tired of this life my teenage self made for me, I can’t wait to be done with this.

I just want to find a swimsuit that makes me feel comfortable and confident, and it feels impossible!
I have a flat chest, so most bikinis ride up too easily and I risk flashing people. I’m pretty tall but slender, so one pieces are always either too tight or too baggy. I kinda feel like I’ll never be able to feel comfortable wearing a swimsuit, even though I feel confident enough to wear one.

Sorry, I’m not sure exactly how to word the title of this post, let me explain. So I saw a reel on my feed of a trans woman describing her “egg crack experience”, that moment where she realized all at once that she was definitely trans, whether she transitioned or not.

I personally never really had this happen to me when I was transitioning. However, as I’ve been slowly detransitioning, I’ve had something sort of similar but in reverse? Moments where suddenly I’m overcome with emotion and understanding of who I really am.

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and if so, what was it like? Scary? Exciting? Sad? Happy? I sort of feel all the feelings at once. Mostly relief though, that I’ve finally figured out my truth, and I don’t need to feel this discomfort forever.

Also, was there something that triggered it for you? I thought wearing a padded bra would do it, but what actually did it was being “misgendered” by a stranger at a pharmacy. I felt so seen, even though they technically “got it wrong”. I knew I had to question everything then.

Hello! I’m 25, ftmtnb, and I had top surgery in Minnesota when I was 18.
I was on testosterone from 16-22, and since being off of it and growing older, I’ve come to be a lot more comfortable in my femininity, and I think I’ve grown into a lot of my features that I used to think would “only ever look good on a man” (a huge reason why I’d transitioned.).

Anyway, I’ve realized I really do not like how my body looks without breasts, with all the other feminine features, to the extent where the dysphoria is getting pretty awful. I’ve started wearing a padded bra, which helps a ton, but at the end of the day with my clothes off, I feel terrible (oh, and also I was botched so they took more tissue than they should have, so I have a sunken look).

I’ve come to terms with getting very small implants and I’m ready to take the leap, but honestly I have no idea how to go about it. Admittedly my mom was the one that handed my transition (she wasn’t forceful in anyway, just extremely supportive), and now that I’m an adult, I’d like to do this on my own.

Does anyone have advice for how to ensure coverage for the surgery? Vetting surgeons? I still live in Minnesota, and since my top surgery was covered, does that help my case?

Any advice or personal experience would be hugely appreciated!! Thank you so much for reading!

I’m moving out of the shit box I pay 1k for in December, it was just a place I rushed into renting cuz I’d just moved here and needed something fast. I only make 2.6k a month, I really can barely afford my current place, but I can’t stay here, it’s just too dirty.

Is there any reputable rental companies in town? Any I should avoid? Does anyone have advice? I feel like I’m at my wits end. I make almost double minimum wage yet I still can’t afford most studios in town. It’s really scary times.

I have 3 federal loans

$6k with 3.4% interest rate

$6k with 4.7% interest rate

$7k with 5.2% interest rate

I just went with the auto payment to pay them off over 10 years, so an equal amount of $230 gets dispersed to them a month. (It’s what was suggested to me by the loan website)

My first question is: should I instead be paying that $230 directly to my highest interest loan? So that it goes down faster?

My second question is: if I have some extra money saved up (maybe like $1000 every 6 months) should I spend that equally on all 3 loans, or all on the highest interest one?

If you could help me understand this in simple terms, it would be so appreciated!!

And please don’t insult my intelligence, this is not my area of expertise whatsoever 🥲…

Hello, I’m new to Duluth and have been really wanting to get my eye brow, bridge, and nose pierced over the next few years, and I’d like to go to someone that is gentle and kind, and obviously talented. If it’s lgbtq friendly that would also be a huge plus, as I’m gender queer.

Thanks!

I feel like people with darker hair can look good with literally any color streaks, but if I’m being totally honest, there’s just something off to me about light brown/dark blonde hair with the same colors. That being said, I still really want to do it 😭 and I’m not talking about light blonde, I mean I was born with blonde hair and it turned brown as I’ve aged, so it’s that in between color.

The reason I’m asking here is partly because I don’t see anyone posting pics of my hair color with colored streaks online 🫠

I would love to do hot pink, but I really don’t think that bright saturated color will look good with it, so maybe light pink? Maybe light teal? I don’t know, I’d love to hear suggestions, I’m open to anything, and if you have pictures, that would be so appreciated!

Hello! I’ve been using the $12 vibrant life crystal cat litter from Walmart for the past few months since it’s cheap, and I really like that I only have to scoop the poops and stir it, instead of scooping clumps too. It makes it a much easier task for my adhd, no clue why.

But I’ve been kind of worried, because I don’t have a sense of smell, I have no idea if it’s actually masking/eliminating the odor. I change it out every 2 weeks and clean the pan and scoop, and the litter always soaks up the urine completely, but I’m always pretty paranoid about it smelling up my apartment.

I don’t really have people over much and so I haven’t been able to ask anyone, plus people in my area are known for being overly nice, so I worry I wouldn’t even get a completely honest answer anyway…

When I try to google it, I get a pretty wide variety of opinions on it. Some people say it hides the smell completely, others don’t think so at all. I’m wondering what folks on here think about it (specifically regarding the smell).

If you have experience with using this specific litter too, I’d love to know your thoughts, since it’s not the common pretty litter brand. It’s less than half the price though, which is why I go for it.