My husband doesn’t want me to come to his military boot camp graduation when I already paid for plane tickets
I originally posted this on AIO, but would like a different perspective. Throw away for obvious reasons.
My husband (27m) graduates from the US Air Force boot camp (it’s about 2 months long). Before he left, he told me he didn’t want me there at graduation. I was really upset about it, especially since this is such a huge milestone and I wanted to be there to tap him out. Throughout our relationship he’s made decisions without really involving me, including joining the military. I (21f) told him before he left that if he changed his mind, to let me know because I’d really love to come. He also told me not to take it personally because he wouldn’t want his mom there either, but she lives in another country so she wouldn’t be able to anyway.
Since they barely get phone access during boot camp, most communication has to be through letters. I got my first mail from him with his printed graduation information, and on the back he wrote “I love you.” I know this part is on me, but I took that as him changing his mind about me coming, and I got excited and bought plane tickets. I admit I should have confirmed it first before spending the money, but I genuinely thought things had changed. I sent him a letter telling him how excited I was to see him and celebrate.
He recently got access to text briefly and told me he still does not want me to come and that I need to “figure it out” with the plane tickets. The tickets are nonrefundable, but I can change the dates. Hundreds of families and spouses attend the 2 day graduations to celebrate their airman, and I can’t understand why he doesn’t want me there. I’ve asked him for a reason, but he won’t really give me one.
What should I do? I feel stuck and about to crash out.
Edit: The mail I received was a printed out invitation with graduation information "It is my distinct honor to welcome you to our extended family, and I am pleased to invite you to celebrate this milestone. Graduation events are scheduled for..." along with him writing on the back "love you bighead" and the addresses on the envelope itself. I thought he wouldn't have mailed it if he still didn't want me coming, but comments are telling he may have been forced to mail it (but why not write don't come still or something?) especially since he knew just how badly I wanted to go. I do have my dependent ID, on tricare, his TRS/FLT numbers, and pics of him on lackland photos website for his specific squadron. He's in the guard. We are legally married and don't have kids.
Can I get in with just my DOD card? I don’t need to be on any formal graduation pass list?
I will update this at the end of next month after graduation. Will keep editing if I feel there are more questions needing to be answered.