M24stuck in a hot-and-cold loop with a female friend/colleague. Need perspective on whether to walk away completely.
Hey everyone, I really need to vent and get an objective perspective on a dynamic that has completely destroyed my peace of mind.
I’m a naturally sensitive guy, and when I care about someone, I go all out. With this friend/colleague, I’ve done everything I possibly could—sending her unexpected gifts, ordering food or groceries via Zomato/Blinkit whenever she was busy or needed something, and giving her access to all my streaming accounts like Netflix. I never expected anything grand in return, just basic respect, honesty, and effort.
Instead, I got caught in a deeply toxic hot-and-cold loop:
**The Exploitation & One-Sided Effort:** She happily accepts all the care, gifts, and perks, but the moment I need simple communication or emotional availability, she completely checks out.
**The Manipulation Loop:** Whenever she ignores me or acts cold, I get anxious. When I try to address how her behavior hurts me, she turns the tables and blames me for "overreacting." She turns serious issues into jokes, dismisses my feelings, and switches the topic to work like I don't matter.
**The Breaking Point:** A few days ago, after staying up all night anxious and waiting for her to clear the air, I completely broke down. I ended up apologizing profusely—taking 100% of the blame for my own hurt feelings just to stop the conflict. All I got in return was a cold, dry response.
**The Final Reality Check:** Right after I surrendered and apologized, she went straight back to ignoring my calls and texts for days. Meanwhile, she’s actively using my Netflix account every single evening to binge-watch series after work, completely unbothered by how broken I feel.
It finally hit me: I’m just a convenient provider of comfort, gifts, food, and entertainment to her. The moment I ask for basic care, I’m treated like a burden.
I’ve gone completely silent since yesterday and stopped all contact. Am I doing the right thing by cutting her off permanently, or am I missing something here?