u/Level-Incident827

انا 17 واخو صاحبتي تقريبا 10 سنين لكن لو سألتوني انا مش هقول اكبر من 6 سنين

انا مربياه من وهو صغير وبعتبرو اخويا وابني وصاحبي وحبيبي وهو بيحبني عشان انا بقضي معاه وقت وبحكي معاه والعب معاه ومبقلهوش لا

دلوقتي هو شويه يعني بيحب "يلتزق" فيا... يعني لازم يتحشر معانا عالسرير انا واخته ويبقي قاعد جنبي انا ودايما عايز يلعب معانا عالموبايل, يقعد يتفرج معايا عالموبايل او انا اقعد اتفرج جنبه, يقعد يمسك ايدي يفعص فيها عادي يعني مبقولش حاجه طفل

بس من فتره, اول ما اخته طلعت من الاوضه (هي بتزعق له لما يتلزق فيا عشان فاكره اني بتدايق كدا) هو جري عليا قعد ف حضني وقعد يضحك ويقولي انا بحبك وحقيقي كنت هعيط من الفرحه وقعدت اطبطب عليه عشان انا شيفاه طفل.. بس لما اخته جات زعقت له شويه انه يحل عني... انا مش فاهمه عشان فكراني بتدايق ولا عشان هو خلاص كبر يعني وبقي راجل ولازم يبقي في حدود؟؟؟

انا حقيقي مش عارفه عشان انا شويه منفتحه و Americanized زي ما تقولو بس مش عارفه ايه الصح ممكن رأي مش متشدد ... يعني اكيد لازم يبقي في حدود بس لما يبقي 12 مثلا لسه بدري

واللي هيقول حاجه قليله الادب يكتم انا بسأل بجد

(ملحوظه: هو عيل اهبل خالص ومخه بجد مخ طفل عشان في اطفال 10 سنين بيبقو شخصيه وفتوه.. هو مش كدا خالص)

i f17 have had these 2 guy friends since 7th grade. at the time i was 12, one was 11 and the youngest was 9. we'd take the same bus home from school and being the oldest kids at the time, we'd always sit close and talk. we naturally grew closer over time and i loved them dearly like my little brothers and they loved me as a sister and would tell me most stuff.

so 3 years ago, i changed schools and all of this ended. we grew up and apart and i lost contact with them. a few months ago, i replied to the older boy's (now 16) story and with that we had the first real conversation since i left. one thing led to another and i got the younger boy's (now 14) number and contacted him. he was really friendly, just like he's always been, and we texted for a little over an hour about what happened all those years.

things sounded great and we still had that friendship so eventually i suggested we hang out, and i was met by rejection and rejection where i felt wronged for even bringing that up. the younger boy would say stuff like "hey dont get me wrong but, we can't be seen in public, people will assume things. 2 boys and a girl.." and i understand his pov but im still offended because i feel so protective over them in a sisterly way so there shouldn't be a single doubt in his mind that i'm trying to "do something" ??

(also his words started to make me rethink whether this whole friendship is appropriate considering the age gap)

we live in a society where male-female friendship is highly taboo plus really sexualized and considering we live in a small city where everybody knows everybody, its kinda harder to act normal around each other now that we all have hit puberty and we're not related so it's "weird" to be seen out in public.

i stopped trying after a while, and so i stopped hearing from them. radio silence from both. i understand life gets busy and all, but a text isn't that hard and it's kinda hurting me that they aren't treasuring this as much as i am.

idk if it's just an awkward phase they'll grow out of and realize they've been pretty stupid or that's it and i'm not getting my friends back bc of stupid societal "rules"

what should i do??

im sorry if this doesnt sound like the more serious stuff on here but this is affecting my life and i need to do something about it. so i (F17) cant move on from my first situationship. i started talking to this guy online which at the time i was 16 and he said he was 18. i wasnt interested, if anything i was waiting for something weird to happen because deep down i knew this would end badly. we'd talk for hours on end, then stop for a week or more, and repeat. it was so effortless with him. even that he's dry and not as talkative, it was different with him we had chemistry. he's the one who'd come back when we stop talking. so i thought, if nothing weird had happened and he's consistent plus around my age and i love how he makes me feel when we talk and hes good looking, so where's the harm in having a little secret crush? well, the harm was it wasnt little at all. i was sickly obsessed.. i remember i'd neglect my real life and responsibilities to stay on my phone literally 24/7 just in case he got online and wanted to text me. not something im proud of but yeah. all until 2 months later, his dad had a heart attack i guess and got admitted to the hospital. since then everything changed. we used to talk for hours everyday, when this happened we stopped talking almost completely and my obsession and anxiety got even worse. i'd stay up extra hours just in case he'd text me and i'd comfort him. he'd go offline for days and it made me extremely anxious. id imagine the worst case scenarios and i couldnt help myself. i felt so helpless. it was so bad i got down on my knees and prayed with real tears for the first time in years. mind you im an atheist and my relationship with god has been horrible since childhood so i never pray but i did. for a boy. i comforted him whenever we talked and he thanked me bc i "stuck beside him" and i quote. mind you i had finals in a few weeks but i still cared about him more. eventually i had to focus on studying so i told him i'd text again when im done which is mid may. now a few days before the time i decided to focus on studying, i was soo bored i accidentally stalked him. i google lensed his picture genuinely not expecting anything only to find a picture of him all over pinterest, instagram, tiktok etc.. and it was on reddit by a deleted account, posted a year ago.. thats when i lost my shit. because that pic of him i have is an old one, meaning he's not the age he told me and i immediately got the ick lol. i didnt say anything tho because i'd sound crazy and we're both too busy. so a month later, i checked this app out of boredom and he had texted me. he casually sent "hi" after no contact for a month and my stomach dropped. long story short, i confronted him and he definitely tried to manipulate me but eventually said he was 20. and explained that he was talking to multiple people at the same time so told each person (probably girls) different ages as a prank or something but with me our "thing" lasted and he just couldnt just tell me randomly. at this moment i lost all my composure, i was furious and we had a very bitter fight. he kept blaming me for even talking to guys and i kept insulting him and saying he's a pedo. knowing my age and still flirting with me. he obviously denied it was like that and said it was only platonic but i didnt back down until he unadded me. not a single sorry btw. so 3 weeks later i sent another friend request and he accepted it. and stupid me, i still argued. because i was hurt more than anything. i should've known not to expect anything from him after that and just use him for fun/to get my mind off things like he did with me. at first i started with a sad defeated tone like "i wish you never lied. you know you could've always told me the truth" and then it progressed to "i regret praying for your dad because im an atheist now and last time i prayed was for a pathetic liar like you" and eventually confessing i liked him all along and listed everything we had that was surely not platonic one bit and lastly told him to go ahead and unadd me again because he's a coward and cant apologize. after all his bs, i'd have still accepted a sincere apology. yes. its stupid but i would let it go. but he deleted his account completely and i have no way to reach him and i just cant accept its really really over now.. also i started senior year and shit got real serious, but i cant stop crying over him. what can i do guys PLEASE HELP