u/Level-Material-5590

Me (17f) and my cousin (17f 1 grade older) have been best friends our whole lives. We have had our ups and downs but recently we have been really distant.

It all kind of started in September, we started not to hangout and talk as much but it just kind of kept growing. She used to come over all the time, but she just kind of stopped and we stopped talking and texting as often. My birthday in December rolls around and we hangout, but she is just different and things seem to be off. I know she is going through some personal issues with her dad, as her parents are separated and her dad is an alcoholic.

Sometime in December, our moms kind of get into it and state that me and my cousin haven’t been as close lately, and so my cousin sends me a text saying that “things just won’t be the same” now that she’s gonna graduate. It hurt me quite a bit, even though I understand things might change, I just don’t understand why she had to do it so suddenly and so soon.

So, for the past few months we have hung out a couple of times, going out and going shopping or just to do something fun. It’s always me initiating it and never her. She hardly ever texted me first and I was always the one who had to ask her to hangout. So, I just kind of let it go and stopped. Then, for her senior trip, she took her friend to Hawaii. Now I totally understand why she brought her friend and I’m not upset about that, I’m upset she didn’t tell me at all. She didn’t even mention it.

Today she texted me and asked if I was coming to her graduation on Friday. I said no, I was feeling sick but I was gonna pop into her graduation party. She said “Okay I would hope to see you there, it would mean a lot to me”

It just hurts that she hasn’t acknowledged me at all these past few months but suddenly it means a lot to her that I come to her graduation? She hasn’t been there for me, and right now things have been very emotional at home as my parents are doing a separation thing, (whole different story) but she knows that and she didn’t even bother to ask if I was doing okay. I have tried and tried with her but’s it’s just a one sided relationship.

Another thing that’s important to mention, she is a very negative person. Being with her brings me down, unless she is in a good mood. She complains constantly and has never made me feel very good about myself. Though, she is still my cousin and I care about her a lot. Neither of us have very many other friends, so we have always been extremely close, but she definitely wears me down. So, I think distancing myself from her has been good, but I don’t know what I’m expected to do.

Do I go to her graduation and act happy for her when she hasn’t even texted me in over a month? Or do I not go and say I was busy. Please give me advice Reddit