u/Level-Wave5143

Hey guys, I’m on day 7 of no gambling !

I struggle with cross addictions and I don’t know how to stay sober. If I quit one thing, I just go harder on another. I’ve been in active addiction for over 11 years (swapping one thing for another).

I’ve got bipolar disorder, ADHD and borderline personality disorder. I’m on medication and been in therapy for 6 years.

My therapist has been trying to get me to go to rehab or meetings for a couple years now. I am open to rehab but unfortunately my work environment is incredibly toxic and I can’t afford to lose my job because I need a month in rehab (before anyone says it’s illegal for them to fire you because it’s a medical condition- my boss does not give a fuck about legalities or being ethical) and if I don’t get fired I will just be treated like a degenerate by them.

I will admit that I have not been open to attending meetings. It honestly just doesn’t seem like my kind of thing. Everything in me is reluctant. BUT this morning I am somewhat entertaining the idea.

My biggest question is - what meeting do I attend for cross addictions? I know there’s NA, but do gambling addicts attend these meetings? I know there’s GA but do people with cross addictions attend these meetings? Am I supposed to just go to NA and GA separately? That would be hard for me since all my addictions are interlinked.

IF I do go to a meeting I don’t want to talk about my cross addictions and trigger anyone or give anyone ideas on what I do/have done.

And also, if anyone could suggest some discord servers where I could attend a meeting I’d appreciate it.

ANY advice from people who were reluctant to go but did, what was your experience?

I don’t feel like explaining my history and struggles with cross addictions but right now I need help. I’m on day 5 no gambling and I am fighting like hell to not gamble. I downloaded BetBlocker last year and blocked myself for 5 years… but as a true addict, I still found a way to bypass this. Don’t want to get into how bad it was/is. But I just need someone to say anything to me. Tough love, positivity, personal stories, even a fucking joke. As someone who’s been addicted to many many things, I know that cravings rise and fall but today my addiction is loud, demanding, insufferable and very compelling. I know I am strong and I know I don’t want to act on these urges. I know that I have to learn to sit with these uncomfortable feelings. But right now, with every single thing happening in my life, I just need words said to me. At least the notifications and comments will give me some dopamine. Even if you just comment a ghost emoji. It sounds stupid but I’m going to give this a shot anyway