u/Lfarinha95

Before anyone jumps at me about what kind of work needs to be done to be delivered, I understand and do the work. I’ve read books and done plenty of research for a year now dealing with this. I repented for everything I can think of, don’t sin as well as I can, and continue to renounced everything I can, and continue to practice faith and surrender pretty much all day everyday. I’ve done the work, I pray daily quite often and more. I’m not looking to this as a simple way out.
I am being baptized soon and am just wondering because of the strength of the sacrament, if anyone has been delivered from possession or oppression or both after being baptized. I just don’t expect it to be a quiet peaceful experience for me, since I’ve had manifestations for a year and do daily.
I have received the Holy Spirit in church and I had an extreme manifestation from that, so I’m just wondering.

For about a year now, I’ve been going through heavy demonic oppression possession and also what was obsession, but that’s gone now. I’ve been in the hospital a few times because I scared my mother and the last time I was in the hospital I had the biggest major attack of possession I had ever had something happened to my heart after that experience.
Before all of this happened, I was growing so close to God and so close to Jesus and Jesus was speaking to me, and then his voice started being mimicked by the devil. My life was the experience of Christ and I was living and walking in peace, and I was being used by the Holy Spirit.
I sinned and used divination, not knowing it was wrong among other sins in a very short time and then this happened and I feel like I’ve lost everything. meaning now, I’m on antipsychotics so I can’t hear the voice of Christ except for sometimes when he does come through to tell me something important. One example is “I want you to beat the devil, stay faithful.” And “Lauren, KNOW it’s over. Understand you don’t have to do this anymore.”
I do understand that this is the word of God and this is a statement of faith. I do understand that this is the kind of faith of Moses that I need to get out of this.. this is what Paul calls the shield of faith to block out all fiery darts of the devil. I have experienced this kind of faith, but I can’t hold it for very long because I don’t “know it” in my heart that it’s just over.
This has been the longest year and the most traumatic experience that I can imagine ever going through; and to believe that I can just “know that it’s over”, and it be over in a second seems impossible to me.
I feel that there is a veil of darkness over my perception, which destroys any ability that I could have. The devil has lied to me not in words, but thoughts. Things like being separated from Christ so slow slowly because I couldn’t hear him anymore that I didn’t realize that my whole trust in him had vanished with it, and I started questioning whether it was his will for me to go through this or not, even though he has delivered me from the worst of it already.
I do not have contorting of my body and convulsing and drooling and foaming of the mouth and twisting around in ways I can’t bend anymore, but I am being sexually assaulted and they do speak to me through my mouth.
I’m grateful for the things that are now passed. The worst of the oppression is gone, but there’s still this black veil over my life that I can’t lift without the Holy Spirit.
I have been baptized and this happened right after I was baptized. I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit through Christ when I asked for the gift of praying in tongues. I experienced so much but now everything has seemed to go dry and I don’t get visions at all anymore. I don’t get insights or knowledge anymore. I don’t have anyone speaking to me anymore and I feel abandoned when I need it the most. I know that I’m not but I know also something is wrong with the way that I am perceiving so badly and I know it’s the devil.
I know I need the Holy Spirit to fix my perception, but I also feel like I need to fix my perception to receive the Holy Spirit so I am at a loss.
I need to read and understand the word of God in my heart as the truth, but I need the Holy Spirit to do that and I need the word of God to get me out of this perception so I can receive the Holy Spirit.
I feel like I have tried everything deliverance wise. I broke a soul tie with someone, I renounced all sorts of things, and the demons responded to it. Piece by piece I’m breaking things off sin wise, which has helped, but also escalated activity temporarily.
Anyway, if anyone knows how to take in the word as the truth, please I’d like to know how.
I will say my head knows 100% that it as all the truth. I’ve tried to ask and pray for the Holy Spirit, but I feel like I don’t get anything which is my problem here. I’m in a severe drought and the things that I need most I feel like I can’t obtain without the Holy Spirit. My heart needs to know that the word of God is the truth, even though I know it with my head something just isn’t saturating my soul. And I’m guessing maybe because the enemies lies has blocked out some of these areas where I could be pulling them in into my heart.
Anyway, sorry this is long, but thank you for reading and your advice. Peace.

Trying to strengthen my faith (or abolish doubt) to be delivered from evil I have experienced for a year now. Been binge reading the Bible and I’m not sure it’s sinking in the way it needs to. I feel like I’m missing something. Jesus spoke me “KNOW it’s over” (the torment). And I know this is the word of God to KNOW. But my mind and heart seems like it just won’t do it. I know I need my mind renewed obviously since I’m stuck in the natural/carnal thinking. I have a demon and it assaults me and I can’t know it. I strain so much trying to do this. Sometimes I do get it and it’s profound revelation but can only hold it for a few moments. I’m so stuck. Anyway thanks!