u/LiLyShoEgAze

For those who live in Virginia, how is the legal weed climate? Do you just make runs to Maryland whenever you need some? Curious to hear how y’all make it work!

Hey, ladies. I appreciate all your help! TLDR: has a stylist told any of you your roots are so coily you need a 4-week relaxer schedule?

I went back to relaxers around New Year’s after trying the natural hair lifestyle about a decade (unsuccessfully)! I was told my “4C” hair grows in too coily and causes too much breakage to NOT have straightened hair, and that a relaxer would be best for my needs (FYI—currently living in a region where the nearest black stylists are 3+ hours away).

To make a long story short, the stylists I’ve been finding for my relaxed hair have been telling me the same thing for my relaxed hair! “Oh, your hair is too nappy to stretch out your relaxers 10-12 weeks! If anything, you need 4-6 weeks, and probably 4 weeks!”

Getting a relaxer every month sounds worse than our old-school schedules, and I’m trying to have HEALTHY HAIR. Feeling really disheartened, like the only option for my hair type is probably locs or something at this point…IF I want to retain length. Has anybody else been told similarly about their hair, or do I just have bad luck with finding hairstylists that give outlandish advice?

For reference: I only use a blow dryer on my hair on wash days, so currently using heat once a week. Typical wash/condition/LOC method you read of. Weekly washes. Moisturize every other day or 3 times a week. Take vitamins and drink water.

I’ve considered investing in a straightener to straighten my roots more often, or maybe a hot comb. Stylists always look confused when I ask them if using more heat on my roots would make things better and prevent breakage, often repeating that I have a hair type that’s just going to need more relaxers.

Feel like this is a matter where I should use my own sense and do what I FEEL is best, but being neurodivergent makes me second guess a lot.

Thanks to anyone who read all of this! It’s just so lonely being told I have “bad hair” all my life! Even lonelier living in a place where I see an average of 3 black people a month in passing, but that’s another story for another day!

I can count on one hand the amount of times my entire life I’ve ever gotten a head scarf to stay on while I sleep (I’m 32)! I’ve tried online tips, different tying techniques, different scarf sizes/textures. Am I just cursed?😭

Tips and tricks appreciated, thanks!