Hi everybody, I’m doing a virgin relaxer within the next month and I’m trying to plan out when/how I’m going to wash my hair. Do yall suggest washing while it’s in the braids? I have 3 kids under 4 years old so I would prefer this method because then it’ll be clean and I can let it dry and then take it out and it’ll be stretched already.

The braids were put in almost 2 months ago and the girl did use gel throughout my scalp and strands. I’m worried about the relaxer not taking if certain parts of my hair aren’t clean enough.

I relaxed my hair by myself yesterday for the first time. I always have my hair in a pony tail. I’ve been relaxed for 9 years (I went natural for two). I usually do two month stretches but this time I did three months. A week before relaxing I just had my hair in a loose bun, no products and I didn’t comb it.

My hair in general is medium thick. I used a dark n lovely box dye last December so it has ginger ends.
Anyways when I was washing out the relaxer with neutralizing shampoo some of my hair came out. It’s the usual amount that comes out when I wash my hair but idk if that’s suppose to happen when relaxing. Did I keep it in too long? Of course, my blow dryer and flat iron stopped working so when I finished, I put leave in conditioner and mousse in my hair with some rollers and let it air dry. So it’s not salon quality smooth.

I’m gonna try attaching a video of my hair in the comments. I could use a trim. Idk whenever I relax my hair at salons I always get a trim, my ends always get uneven and thin. My ends have always been like that before I dyed it.

Anyways any tips? Product recs? This time I used Hawaiian silky but I usually buy ORS relaxer or whatever the pharmacy has.

I’m the second photo. I want Betty boop curls and I don’t think mousse or straightening is enough… would a Japanese perm be worth it? I really want that flat, looser curl look.

What do you all think?

EXTREMELY LONG BUT LIFE CHANGING POST AHEAD!! You’ve been warned 🙃🙃 TLDR at the very end ❤️

I just have to hop on here and let the world know about these products. It can feel near impossible to find products that don’t weigh relaxed hair down, while also keeping it healthy and moisturized. Well.. I have cracked my relaxed hair code!!

I was a straight natural who did weekly silk presses and 6 months ago, I decided to say F it and turn my 6 hour wash days into 1.5 hours from the time I hop in the shower to completely styled and finished. ✅ I had relaxers growing up and neither me or my mom knew how to care for it properly so hair didn’t really grow past shoulder length. Over time as I got older into my teens, I wanted a curly pixie cut so I big chopped and went natural.

Fast forward to up to 6 months ago, I spent every weekend committing half of an entire day to my hair. And despite all that work, my hair would revert the next day with the slightest drop of humidity or the first drop of sweat from my workouts. My workout routine also played a huge role into this decision because I lift 5-6x a week and always felt like I couldn’t maintain my hair with the reversion without excessive heat.

So.. 6 months ago on a whim I decided to relax my hair again! My hair is naturally 3c-4a texture, and extremely coarse. After experimenting with soooo many products since then to find what worked for my hair, I FINALLY figured out the routine that makes my hair feel so freaking soft and moisturized.

I am very prone to dry hair and brittle ends that always feel like they need to be trimmed. Not anymore! I have used this routine for the last 5 wash days and it hits every single time. Since I relaxed my hair, I have been washing my hair twice a week because I have scalp psoriasis and any longer than that, and my scalp is so dry and flaky and I can’t stand it. That’s just the wash schedule that works for ME.

ANYWAYS, on to my full routine and I’ll highlight the MVP products:

1. Every wash day I wash my hair first with a medicated salicylic acid shampoo for my psoriasis. By using this twice a week, I’ve been able to not have to use topical steroids to control the flaking. Then I follow with either the Quai Detox shampoo or the Living Proof Detox shampoo to clarify.

2. MVP #1: Apply Olaplex No. 3 and let sit for 3 minutes.

- This step is SO important to do AFTER clarifying. Years ago I would try to use this product and felt like it did nothing for my hair. Now I realize it was because I was only rinsing my hair prior to applying it, and allll the products/serums/silicones coating my hair were still present, and the olaplex wasn’t penetrating my hair shaft. CHANGED THE GAME AND MADE SUCH A HUGE DIFFERENCE!
- I use this EVERY wash day.

3. Follow up with a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner. I’ve been loving the Mielle Pom and Honey Combo.

4. Deep condition. I currently use a combination of Matrix Food for Soft Mask and the Cecred Deep Conditioning Mask (NOT the reconstructing mask). I literally scoop both and mix and apply to my hair. I then cover with a thin shower cap to let the steam of the shower work while I wash up/shave/etc.
   - I also deep condition EVERY wash day. This is also when I gently finger detangle and use my tangle teezer brush to brush my hair under running water.
   - If I meet any resistance while brushing, I immediately stop and finger detangle. I do NOT brush through a tangle. That’s how you break off your hair!

5. After that’s rinsed and detangled, I apply Redken ABC leave in and the Mielle Pom Honey leave in. I don’t use a ton, just enough to rake through. I then take the SMALLEST amount of the Cecred Moisture Sealing Lotion and apply all over- mostly on the ends. I don’t use a ton of leave in because I deep condition every shower and I don’t want to weigh my hair down. I’ll section my hair in half in two clips and put on a heated turbie twist style microfiber head towel to start to get extra water out.
   -(I despise being cold after a shower so I have a heated towel warmer from Amazon and throw my head towel and bathing towel in there to warm up while I shower.) 😂

If you’ve held on to reading this long, bless you! Now onto the drying process.

6. MVP Product #2: Kenra Luxe Shine Oil.

I pretty much part each half of my hair into 4 sections for blow drying. I take each section and spray liberally with the Kenra Platinum Blow Dry spray. I don’t just spray this all over because I feel like you don’t get all of your hair good. After spraying, I apply a squirt of the above oil onto that same hair section.

YALL. I don’t know what they put in this oil but it is literally impossibly good. I’m so mad I spent money on other oils before finding this one. I’ve tried Verb, Cecred, Olaplex, and a million other oils. They PALE in comparison to this one. The great thing about this oil is that it is MEANT to be used prior to blow drying and has heat protection up to 450 degrees. So you aren’t frying your hair by using it before heat.

I use the Dyson Coanda 2x to blow dry my hair. The flat brush attachment is SOOOO good because it moves laterally and doesn’t have those pointy bristles that rip your hair like the brushes I used to use on the Shark Flexstyle. I blow dry each section on COLD AIR.
-WHY did no one tell me about a cold blow dry being so good for your hair?? It pretty much eliminates frizz, seals the hair cuticle, and best of all.. NO HEAT DAMAGE!! I get my hair about 80% dry on cold and then follow up on low heat to get it all the way dry. The hair is already straight.. so there’s no need to use high heat to get your hair dry. We just trying to DRY IT! The cold air makes my hair soooo shiny and soft.
-Again, if I encounter any resistance, I finger detangle and don’t pull the brush through my hair.

7. To finish up my heat styling, I spray my hair all over with the IGK spirulina flat iron spray and flat iron on 325 with my Babyliss. The only heat my hair really gets is on 325 with now 3 layers of heat protection. I really just try to hit the ends and the top roots to get it a little sleeker. I like leaving the rest of the roots not as straight for a little volume.

Voila!! That’s my wash day!! I know it seems like a lot of steps, but these products fit in one small basket and I’m not overflowing with baskets of products that don’t work as well. I am NEVER straying from this routine because it’s THAT good for me. Also, with the Dyson, my hair is completely dry in less than 30 minutes. It would be closer to 1-2 hours before relaxing, not including the hour I would spend detanging just to START blow drying.

takes a deep breath

Okay.. here’s the really important part. To maintain and keep my hair moisturized in between washes, here is:

MVP product #3: Moroccan Oil Hydrating Styling Cream.

On day 2-4 of my hair in between washes, every night I coat my ends with a small amount of this cream and then seal that moisture in with the above Kenra luxe oil. This cream does not make my hair feel wet, and it feels sooo good on my hair. It’s also a styling cream, so every night I put each half of my hair into a flat twist, secure each of the ends with two silk scrunchies, and then wrap with a bonnet to sleep. In the morning I take the twists down and have effortless waves EVERY DAY WITHOUT HEAT. 👏🏽👏🏽

If you already have a shampoo/conditioner combo that you love, do what works for you! But I wanted to give my whole routine with these MVP products incorporated so you can see how I use them.

Some other important notes:
- I don’t brush or comb my hair except for wash day, and I keep my mf hands out of my hair. When I’m fluffing it out in the morning, I only use my hands.
-Styling cream and oil are used on my ends EVERY night. The oil is not heavy and using it every day has never made my hair feel weighed down.
-I use Cecred hair drops every wash day before styling, and do the protein ritual every 3 months.

Yall.. with this routine, I no longer experience breakage. Every time I manipulate my hair, I can’t believe I look down at my sink and see literally no hair or small broken pieces.. this used to be my reality every time I even touched my hair. My hair feels so healthy even though it’s relaxed. I really hope this post helps somebody!!

In 6 months, I’ve been able to retain length, experience no breakage, and now I LOVE wash day!

If you lasted this long, I applaud your dedication and resilience 🙏🏽👏🏽

TLDR : Products for relaxed hair that changed my life:

- Olaplex #3 after clarifying

-Kenra Luxe Shine Oil before blow drying

- MO Hydrating Styling cream with above oil to mid shaft-ends every night before bed