u/Delicious-Baby-1996

Looking to get myself diagnosed. I currently have Medicaid! I am a 30 year old female. My mother (deceased) was on the spectrum. Both my brothers are on the spectrum. My son is also on the spectrum.
Every time I take a self assessment, I always get “high functioning” as my result.

I just feel like it would bring a lot of closure to be diagnosed. I feel like I would officially understand myself a lot more if I knew for a fact that I was on the spectrum.
That way I can make sense of everything.

I am a Corewell health patient! So im hoping someone in the network can help me out.

LONG POST

So I worked at a “black owned” IHOP. In the state of Michigan. I just quit for numerous reasons. Reasons being that my boss is very hostile, narcissistic, toxic, manipulative, etc. She was literally all of the bad things you can think of. She’s a 47 year old, that has been at IHOP for 25 years. There’s a high turnover rate due to her. She has even bragged that “we’re an acquired taste.”
Her daughters are also managers here. Her oldest daughter is HR. She’s also very mean, cruel, foul, and all the same traits as her mother. The youngest daughter is very nice. No problems with her. This IHOP is known in the city for being under terrible management. Anytime I posted that we were hiring, I would get a lot of hate comments about my old job, and how the bosses are literal “c**ts!” Not many people last long at this job. Did they pay well yes. Were they abusive? Oh very! I got promoted from server to manager, and got 0 training really. Maybe a total of 13 hours max of training. I was told to train myself with the materials in the office as well as tutorials online. Mind you I was also the only person working front of the house. Meaning I was the only waitress, and manager. My nights were often extremely busy, leaving me with no time for managerial tasks… however I didn’t even receive much training for managerial tasks. Nor was I even really asked to do tasks. I had no idea what my delegations were. The staff would even feel sorry for me due to the treatment I got. I would be ridiculed, made fun of, mocked, YELLED AT, had my pay go from salary to hourly without any notification due to her being upset about all her managers performance. So she switched all of our pays to hourly for one pay period. Then she switched me back to salary, got upset with me for editing the schedule, and then took my manager access away, and changed my pay back to hourly. My anxiety and mental health has declined a lot. To the point I couldn’t even eat before work at 2pm. IHOP would close at 10pm, and I would often find myself alone in IHOP cleaning up after huge rushes. The cameras don’t even record footage. So had something happened to me, it wouldn’t be recorded. I didn’t like that and felt unsafe. I didn’t leave with the cook due to the state of the restaurant. Had I left the restaurant out of order, first shift would be extremely upset. God forbid you upset the manager who was HR. She was always determined to ruin someone’s day as well as her mom was the same way. Also if the general manager was having a bad day, she would take it out on everyone.

The prejudiced comments…. Long story short, I hired an ex Dennys general manager. She is a 40 year old white woman. My general manager basically insinuated that I was not smart at all for hiring this ex Dennys GM to be a server. The general manager then proceeded to tell me that the owner of this IHOP wants this new server in my spot. Especially due to her being older, and white.
Even though she talked a lot of crap about me being a manager. This is the only time I seen her protecting my role as a manager. My general manager literally said verbatim “you hired a white b***h that’s older than you!”
“Why would you hire some white b***h that has more credentials than you?”
“I wouldn’t teach that white b*****h nothing!”**
“If that white b***h tried talking to me I’m going to be looking the other way!”

I unfortunately do not have this voice recorded or anything. No videos or anything.

Those statements made me highly uncomfortable. I didn’t appreciate that at all. This lady that I hired was so nice. She also only wants to be a server. Not a manager. My former GM started being very petty to this new girl. Wouldn’t let her have time off that she needed off due to plans she had before she started working for IHOP. Just out of spite.

Fast forward to this weekend, she was trying to demote me…. She said you can work this pay period as a manager but after that, you’ll be serving again. So I quit minutes later. As she was walking out the door unaware that I had just clocked out for good. I tried to give her the purse back that she gifted me. She didn’t want it. She told me to give her the keys back , I did that. Then she asked me to leave. While she was talking crap, walking out the door… I also decided to go out the same door… and talk crap back. I’ve held it in for months! I wanted to be heard. I kept saying to her do you see how you’re acting?????
She was being so cruel, mocking me, talking big crap, being so hostile, then boom, she SLAMS THE BACKDOOR ON ME! She literally seen me exiting the door behind her as well. She got on the other side quickly and forced the door closed on me. And it hit my wrist hard. My hand didn’t get caught in the door however. Just the door itself hit me pretty hard. So I called the police and made a police report. I do have an employment attorney on hand, with a thread of things that have been going on. He didn’t seem too supportive or concerned about what she was doing to me/ the team. For example she will dock your check if you don’t perform well. She docked the hardest working cook 3 hours out of his check.

So I have a police report… I am trying to figure out the next move.

As well as I have a problem with HR. I have mean nasty texts from her, she even called me out of my name! As well as brought up my deceased mother!!! Out of anger and spite!!!!!

There are also other former employees with open cases against this same IHOP.

So I worked at a “black owned” IHOP. This is in the state of Michigan

I just quit for numerous reasons. Reasons being that my boss is very hostile, narcissistic, toxic, manipulative, etc. She was literally all of the bad things you can think of. She’s a 47 year old, that has been at IHOP for 25 years. There’s a high turnover rate due to her. She has even bragged that “we’re an acquired taste.”
Her daughters are also managers here. Her oldest daughter is HR. She’s also very mean, cruel, foul, and all the same traits as her mother. The youngest daughter is very nice. No problems with her. This IHOP is known in the city for being under terrible management. Anytime I posted that we were hiring, I would get a lot of hate comments about my old job, and how the bosses are literal “c**ts!” Not many people last long at this job. Did they pay well yes. Were they abusive? Oh very! I got promoted from server to manager, and got 0 training really. Maybe a total of 13 hours max of training. I was told to train myself with the materials in the office as well as tutorials online. Mind you I was also the only person working front of the house. Meaning I was the only waitress, and manager. My nights were often extremely busy, leaving me with no time for managerial tasks… however I didn’t even receive much training for managerial tasks. Nor was I even really asked to do tasks. I had no idea what my delegations were. The staff would even feel sorry for me due to the treatment I got. I would be ridiculed, made fun of, mocked, YELLED AT, had my pay go from salary to hourly without any notification due to her being upset about all her managers performance. So she switched all of our pays to hourly for one pay period. Then she switched me back to salary, got upset with me for editing the schedule, and then took my manager access away, and changed my pay back to hourly. My anxiety and mental health has declined a lot. To the point I couldn’t even eat before work at 2pm. IHOP would close at 10pm, and I would often find myself alone in IHOP cleaning up after huge rushes. The cameras don’t even record footage. So had something happened to me, it wouldn’t be recorded. I didn’t like that and felt unsafe. I didn’t leave with the cook due to the state of the restaurant. Had I left the restaurant out of order, first shift would be extremely upset. God forbid you upset the manager who was HR. She was always determined to ruin someone’s day as well as her mom was the same way. Also if the general manager was having a bad day, she would take it out on everyone.

The prejudiced comments…. Long story short, I hired an ex Dennys general manager. She is a 40 year old white woman. My general manager basically insinuated that I was not smart at all for hiring this ex Dennys GM to be a server. The general manager then proceeded to tell me that the owner of this IHOP wants this new server in my spot. Especially due to her being older, and white.
Even though she talked a lot of crap about me being a manager. This is the only time I seen her protecting my role as a manager. My general manager literally said verbatim “you hired a white b***h that’s older than you!”
“Why would you hire some white b***h that has more credentials than you?”
“I wouldn’t teach that white b***h nothing!”
“If that white b***h tried talking to me I’m going to be looking the other way!”

I unfortunately do not have this voice recorded or anything. No videos or anything.

Those statements made me highly uncomfortable. I didn’t appreciate that at all. This lady that I hired was so nice. She also only wants to be a server. Not a manager. My former GM started being very petty to this new girl. Wouldn’t let her have time off that she needed off due to plans she had before she started working for IHOP. Just out of spite.

Fast forward to this weekend, she was trying to demote me…. She said you can work this pay period as a manager but after that, you’ll be serving again. So I quit minutes later. As she was walking out the door unaware that I had just clocked out for good. I tried to give her the purse back that she gifted me. She didn’t want it. She told me to give her the keys back , I did that. Then she asked me to leave. While she was talking crap, walking out the door… I also decided to go out the same door… and talk crap back. I’ve held it in for months! I wanted to be heard. I kept saying to her do you see how you’re acting?????
She was being so cruel, mocking me, talking big crap, being so hostile, then boom, she SLAMS THE BACKDOOR ON ME! She literally seen me exiting the door behind her as well. She got on the other side quickly and forced the door closed on me. And it hit my wrist hard. My hand didn’t get caught in the door however. Just the door itself hit me pretty hard. So I called the police and made a police report. I do have an employment attorney on hand, with a thread of things that have been going on. He didn’t seem too supportive or concerned about what she was doing to me/ the team. For example she will dock your check if you don’t perform well. She docked the hardest working cook 3 hours out of his check.

So with my police report, what should I do?

As well as I have a problem with HR. I have mean nasty texts from her, she even called me out of my name! As well as brought up my deceased mother!!! Out of anger and spite!!!!!

What should I do???? There are also other former employees with open cases against this same IHOP.

So I worked at a “black owned” IHOP. In the state of Michigan. I just quit for numerous reasons. Reasons being that my boss is very hostile, narcissistic, toxic, manipulative, etc. She was literally all of the bad things you can think of. She’s a 47 year old, that has been at IHOP for 25 years. There’s a high turnover rate due to her. She has even bragged that “we’re an acquired taste.”
Her daughters are also managers here. Her oldest daughter is HR. She’s also very mean, cruel, foul, and all the same traits as her mother. The youngest daughter is very nice. No problems with her. This IHOP is known in the city for being under terrible management. Anytime I posted that we were hiring, I would get a lot of hate comments about my old job, and how the bosses are literal “c**ts!” Not many people last long at this job. Did they pay well yes. Were they abusive? Oh very! I got promoted from server to manager, and got 0 training really. Maybe a total of 13 hours max of training. I was told to train myself with the materials in the office as well as tutorials online. Mind you I was also the only person working front of the house. Meaning I was the only waitress, and manager. My nights were often extremely busy, leaving me with no time for managerial tasks… however I didn’t even receive much training for managerial tasks. Nor was I even really asked to do tasks. I had no idea what my delegations were. The staff would even feel sorry for me due to the treatment I got. I would be ridiculed, made fun of, mocked, YELLED AT, had my pay go from salary to hourly without any notification due to her being upset about all her managers performance. So she switched all of our pays to hourly for one pay period. Then she switched me back to salary, got upset with me for editing the schedule, and then took my manager access away, and changed my pay back to hourly. My anxiety and mental health has declined a lot. To the point I couldn’t even eat before work at 2pm. IHOP would close at 10pm, and I would often find myself alone in IHOP cleaning up after huge rushes. The cameras don’t even record footage. So had something happened to me, it wouldn’t be recorded. I didn’t like that and felt unsafe. I didn’t leave with the cook due to the state of the restaurant. Had I left the restaurant out of order, first shift would be extremely upset. God forbid you upset the manager who was HR. She was always determined to ruin someone’s day as well as her mom was the same way. Also if the general manager was having a bad day, she would take it out on everyone.

The prejudiced comments…. Long story short, I hired an ex Dennys general manager. She is a 40 year old white woman. My general manager basically insinuated that I was not smart at all for hiring this ex Dennys GM to be a server. The general manager then proceeded to tell me that the owner of this IHOP wants this new server in my spot. Especially due to her being older, and white.
Even though she talked a lot of crap about me being a manager. This is the only time I seen her protecting my role as a manager. My general manager literally said verbatim “you hired a white b***h that’s older than you!”
“Why would you hire some white b***h that has more credentials than you?”
“I wouldn’t teach that white b*****h nothing!”**
“If that white b***h tried talking to me I’m going to be looking the other way!”

I unfortunately do not have this voice recorded or anything. No videos or anything.

Those statements made me highly uncomfortable. I didn’t appreciate that at all. This lady that I hired was so nice. She also only wants to be a server. Not a manager. My former GM started being very petty to this new girl. Wouldn’t let her have time off that she needed off due to plans she had before she started working for IHOP. Just out of spite.

Fast forward to this weekend, she was trying to demote me…. She said you can work this pay period as a manager but after that, you’ll be serving again. So I quit minutes later. As she was walking out the door unaware that I had just clocked out for good. I tried to give her the purse back that she gifted me. She didn’t want it. She told me to give her the keys back , I did that. Then she asked me to leave. While she was talking crap, walking out the door… I also decided to go out the same door… and talk crap back. I’ve held it in for months! I wanted to be heard. I kept saying to her do you see how you’re acting?????
She was being so cruel, mocking me, talking big crap, being so hostile, then boom, she SLAMS THE BACKDOOR ON ME! She literally seen me exiting the door behind her as well. She got on the other side quickly and forced the door closed on me. And it hit my wrist hard. My hand didn’t get caught in the door however. Just the door itself hit me pretty hard. So I called the police and made a police report. I do have an employment attorney on hand, with a thread of things that have been going on. He didn’t seem too supportive or concerned about what she was doing to me/ the team. For example she will dock your check if you don’t perform well. She docked the hardest working cook 3 hours out of his check.

So I have a police report… I am trying to figure out the next move.

As well as I have a problem with HR. I have mean nasty texts from her, she even called me out of my name! As well as brought up my deceased mother!!! Out of anger and spite!!!!!

There are also other former employees with open cases against this same IHOP.

So tell me why the guy clicks 20% on this 85$ tab… signs for it… sends it through… and then the lady actually wants to adjust my tip to $0 from $16.06. They signed and finalized it … what should I do?

So tell me why the guy clicks 20% on this 85$ tab… signs for it… sends it through… and then the lady actually wants to adjust my tip to $0 from $16.06. They signed and finalized it … what should I do?