r/Serverlife

I work at a busy restaurant, where I’m constantly running around lifting heavy trays and getting at least 12k steps though usually much more.

By the time I get home at night, I become a monster most nights. Tonight I ate an acai bowl I made, a piece of pizza, potato chips, AND a cookiewich. I feel like a vacuum cleaner. I want to just shut my brain off, eat, and decompress.

I often have the urge to go have a drink and a sandwich at my husband’s place of work at like 10pm, but I usually reign it in. I did tonight, but then look what I did lol

Is anyone else just an absolute gremlin eater when they get home?

So for context, I transitioned into hospitality after leaving a low-paying toxic office job. I want something more flexible with better tip potential while I save money and eventually go back to school.

Right now I’m trying to get into barbacking with the goal of eventually becoming a bartender. I have about 2 months of recent food runner experience which is on my resume as my current job, but I actually quit yesterday, and around 1 year of serving experience from years ago.

The reason I’m asking this is because I got the food runner job literally by walking into a restaurant, talking to the manager in person, and I got hired on the spot. So I assumed bars/restaurants moved pretty fast with hiring.

This week I went to about 7 bars/restaurants dropping off resumes between 2–4 PM on Monday during non-peak hours. The issue was that there were no managers around for any of the places, so I had to hand my resume to bartenders who said they’d pass it along.

Some places said they weren’t hiring but would keep my resume on file. Some said they weren’t sure if they needed barbacks so they’ll give my resume to the manager. One place the bartender told me they actually are hiring barbacks right now and said he’d give my resume to the manager. But he was making a drink at the time of grabbing my resume so idk if that changes things lol. Also, I really want this specific place because it’s close to my house and always busy.

It’s now Thursday morning and I haven’t gotten a single call, so I’m wondering:

- chances they forgot?

- chances my resume got lost?

- is 2 days just too early to expect a response?

- or worst case, the manager saw my resume and said nah?

- or even worst case, the bartender threw my resume away after I left? Lol

Would it be reasonable to go back in today (Thursday) to the place that said they need barbacks rn and follow up? I just need a job asap.

Hi new to the subreddit. I've been a server for 7 years and granted children have always been a pain in the ass, but in recent years they've only gotten worse. I just had a child reach up out of her seat to rub her nasty ass hands in my hair (I'm a woman with a buzz cut). I know children are generally curious but fucking come on. Not one apology from the parents. After her mom told her no she started shaking her chair back and forth and screaming until her dad offered her the iPad. To make matters worse they're my managers regulars. I genuinely love serving because I like talking to people and giving people good experiences but I fear my time is near.

I am only scheduled on weekends when we’re super busy so I don’t have much time to talk to him. Has anyone been in a similar position? Please tell me there’s hope or warn me against it lol. Thanks!

Imagine you’re taking care of a 4 top and they checked out at $170, no separate checks, just 1! Yay! They tip you a $20 bill, then they ask if they can pay for a two top that’s sitting near by. Presumably because they thought one of the two or both were homeless.
The two top is a homeless man and an influencer (making content on his meta glasses). I was never asked if it was okay to be filmed but I was and I was too awkward to confront him about it.

That table paid for their meal and I let them know the meal was paid for after running around for them and getting them all the sauces / extras that they never even used, just for the influencer to fist bump me and not tip me at all. It actually broke my heart cus I saw he was doing a good thing for a homeless man so I made their stay even better. Regarding all the little stuff, if you know you know. I was seriously catering to them to have the best experience.

Anyway my question is just, how would u feel? I personally felt like with the great service I gave he should’ve left something, especially after someone else just paid for his whole skit basically. Idk. Lmk!

I had one of those tables early today where I felt like I was their b%tch. A lot of " i need..." And " would you be a dear and...." Half the table was great but a handful of the people just needed/expected SOOO much over and over. 💗One lady complained that the bathrooms were locked...they were in use....it was just weird. Had a few other weird people with odd requests, but I think I just got started irritated. It's already been a long week and it's Wednesday. Hope y'all are holding up better than me. Glad to be busy but I might be getting old😂

I tagged the post with NSFW just in case. I don’t post too much so I’d rather be safe than sorry. Anyways, I had this table of two guys. I go up to the table and ask what they’d like to drink and the guy on the right (let’s call him Jim) Jim replies with “I’d like to have you to drink” after looking me up and down and grazing my arm. I nervously laugh and ask the other guy what he wants. I get their drink order and they start making comments on how old I look, I tell them I’m 27 and Jim says that’s crazy bc he thought I looked 12 years old. Mind you he says that after making that s*xual comment towards me. Perv.
I bring the drinks and Jim is mad that his drink is in a small glass and that he supposedly explained to me that last time he was here the same thing happened and asked if I’m hard of hearing bc I got his drink wrong. He laughs and tries to grab my ear but I’m awkwardly leaning away. After all that is fixed I bring their food out and they eat it. Once they’re done I ask if they’d like dessert and Jim says “I’d like to have you for dessert” and nudges my arm and laughs with his friend.
Now it’s time for the check so I bring it, he looks at it closely with me standing right there to make sure everything is correct and of course he gets mad that I charged him for a double (he wanted a bigger drink). I tell him that’s no big deal I can just tell my manager to split off the extra shot and remove it from the ticket. He then rudely asks if it’s my first day working then taps me on the upper thigh near my ass with the check board. At this point I walk away and tell them to pay with the cashier up front bc I’m done.

I have to say I’m pretty used to getting cat called at work by grumpy old men but being touched this much (he touched my arm so much throughout this interaction it’s just too much to type) has made me feel really really uncomfortable. I’m just so exhausted at this point. Why do some men have no shame at all??? Keep your effing hands to yourself.

I’m a 30-something former admin professional who transitioned into serving part-time while raising my kids. Prior to serving I had food/customer service experience as a barista, but Olive Garden is my first serving job.

I’ve been at OG for about 6 months and have done well there. I work at a very busy location and honestly probably make about as much money there as one realistically can.

That said, I’m starting to feel the “unlimited soup/salad/breadsticks for not enough money” burnout. I genuinely like serving, I think I’m pretty good at it for only having 6 months experience, and I feel like I could make better money in a local tavern/upscale casual environment.

My hesitation is that I actually like my coworkers and management (to an extent, there are some red flags with the GM) at OG. They’ve been respectful of my family commitments and never overschedule me.

So I’m trying to decide what makes the most sense career-wise and relationship-wise.

Would it be realistic to:
cut down to ~10 hours/week at OG (Sunday + Monday)
and pick up a second serving job at a local tavern for ~10–15 hours/week (Thursday/Friday/Saturday)?

Or would it be smarter to wait until I hit 1 year at Olive Garden before expanding elsewhere?

Or should I just fully leave OG and move on?
For context, I’m in a major metro area.

Mine is 93, do I have you beat?

Help

Bear with me, this is pretty long & there’s so many red flags to go over.

I got hired at a restaurant/bar on the spot after talking to who I believed was the owner. She said they needed servers & bartenders. Gave me a start date & told me I’d be training for about a week. They have a restaurant side, and the bar side. The restaurant side has its own small bar too.

First day: I expected to do a proper onboarding process with paperwork. I’ve worked many jobs, & have never experienced being hired on without giving my ID & social for the verification/background process. I was working without being verified. I was given a W4 & gave my direct deposit info. The owner told me I didn’t have to fill out the tax part where it includes tips & whatnot. She said at one point that the previous owner got in trouble several times for serving minors & that they were trying to turn the place around. The guy I was shadowing was making drinks for his sibling and her friends. When she was ordering, she ordered for all of them and whispered that the boys were underage. Don’t know if that was a joke or not, but I felt something was wrong. The owner told me before hire I needed to be food handler certified but when I asked her when she needs my certification by, she told me there’s no deadline & she’s not that worried about it.

Second day: Was thrown in on the floor since I clocked in. Was the only server for the restaurant and I was supposed to make drinks on that side & do to-go orders. There were many red flags I saw that day. One, the woman working the bar cut her finger pretty bad. She came to show me, pushed on it to purposely make it bleed more & started flicking blood everywhere. Then she wrapped it in a bandaid. Shortly after, she digs her hands ungloved into the container of cheese they use for the sandwiches, & is eating out of it like an animal. The kitchen worker left it out like that & didn’t say anything. I’m sure they still used that cheese for customers food. Later on she shows me her bandaid was bled through. Freaking disgusting & major health hazard btw.
I asked one of the workers how much they make, they said maybe like a grand. I was like “wow, per week?” They replied per MONTH. At the end of my shift my shift report wouldn’t print. & I was also not told to count the drawer that morning, so I think that’s part of that issue. I felt off the whole time I was there and had a gut feeling something was wrong.

Here’s the crazy stuff.
I did further research & found that:

This place was RAIDED by the state less than 3 years ago. There were 52 charges, 28 being felonies. Everyone working was charged and most were for distributing drugs and illegal sales of alcohol. One of the people charged for selling c*caine was actually the guy I shadowed my first day! All liquor licenses were suspended & the business had an Administrative Dissolution, meaning they’re not legally able to operate anymore. I called the Secretary of States office & this information was verified that they are not legally allowed to operate.

• It’s highly against federal law to hire employees without taking their ID & Social for identity verification & background process.
• The business is likely evading taxes, given I was told to not fill out the tax part of the form & not taking ID means they can’t legally put me on their payroll. = Evading payroll taxes
• The business was likely sold to the current owner after the previous raid, all under the table & illegally to keep it up & running. They never re-registered it with the state, so they’re breaking every law they can possibly think of.

Idk about anyone else, but I wouldn’t want to be working at a place like that while it gets raided and get screwed. Some of the people I worked with were on the article I read about the raid and it shows every single charge. I don’t want that to be me. I’m happy I dipped out before I was in too deep. If you have a bad feeling about a business, do research and listen to your gut.

I got fired from my last server job for flunking a menu test (I'd worked there for 6 months, it's a long story, but in the end my fault).

I have an interview tomorrow for another position. They'll probably ask why I left my last job. Not only that, but they'll likely be familiar with the restaurant I worked at, if not know the GM personally (NYC restaurants). The old GM told me she'd give me a good referral, so that's not entirely my concern, but what do I say?

I know getting fired is commonplace, but I can't say "I struggle with learning the menu" because that's literally half the job. And I can't lie because they might ask my old GM who might call my bluff.

I'm a great server, but I struggle with tests. I work in fine dining so they're usually pretty serious about menu knowledge.

What do?

I recently got hired at this “upscale” italian restaurant (it’s kinda shitty but we market it as fancier than it is) it can get REALLY busy due to it being dead center in a tourist location. Today was my second shift and my coworkers informed me that no one takes breaks. They are expected to work for 8,10 sometimes 12 hours straight no breaks except for bathroom breaks. I was told a girl last year begged our manager for a break because she felt like she was going to get heat stroke and he still said no. In our employee handbook it literally says we are entitled to a 30 minute break every 5 hours (due to my province’s workers rights). I’ve worked in one other restaurant before, and a cafe and i’ve always always gotten a break. I was talking to my friend who also works in the service industry and she said this was “standard”. is this true? should i complain or be worried? I’ve only been doing 4-5 hour training shifts as of now so i’m scared for when i’m done training.

I just got home 2 hours ago from a super double. 7am-1am… at dinner time I had a party. It was a speed dating party, I guess for older people. They seemed do be 50+. I worked the party solo, it was about 35 people.

This one lady was really nice, she ordered a Cesar salad, and a martini. After serving everyone food, she snaps her fingers at me across the room yelling “SIR, SIR, I HAVE A REALLY BIG PROBLEM” so I rush over there and and she says “sir do YOU see a problem here” as she pokes me in my stomach… so I look and i say “sorry mam, I don’t… but if there’s an issue I’m more than willing to fix it for you” and that must have absolutely sent her to the bowels of hell. She gets red in the face, and looks like she’s shaking… and screams at me! “I ORDERED A CEASAR SALAD!!!!!” and I said… “yes I know. And that’s what you have, is it not good?” She replies “NO ITS NOT GOOD! THERES ONLY LETTUCE, CHEESE, AND CROUTONS!!!! WHERE ARE THE ONIONS TOMATOS AND CARROTS” and I say… “oh I’m sorry, did you want a house salad with Caesar dressing instead, no worries I can do that for you” and she fucking lost it. she goes “ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? OR DO YOU THINK IM A STUPID PERSON? IVE BEEN EATING CEASAR SALAD MY ENTIRE LIFE, AND I KNOW HOW ITS MADE… DONT TREAT ME LIKE IM STUPID” I say, oh will I’m so sorry… this is just how we make the Cesar salads here… and she cuts me off, and requests the manager… so I go and get the manager, and I’m just watching from the kitchen. This women takes a handful of lettuce and throws it on the floor. And asks for a refund… then about 30’minutes later she asks if she can have a house salad with Caesar dressing…

They all did seperate checks(fun) and this nice lady left me two quarters

I just needed to vent…but I will never forget about this Cesar salad lady who knows exactly what a Cesar salad is… and how it is prepared.

Why are people like this? I was more than willing to
Accommodate what she wanted. Even if a restaurant totally messed up my order… I would never act like this. Just a simple, oh I thought it came like this, is there anyway I could get this…

PS
our menu states exactly everything that is in each salad… so yes. It does say lettuce, Parmesan cheese, and croutons. And yes lady, I think you are a stupid person.

This is just so humiliating because I have no idea what the actual problem is. I have done events sporadically through Instawork and Qwick, mostly working buffet stations at holiday brunches. Never did plated dinner or any real waitressing before. Nonetheless, I got hired at a handful of catering/event companies around NYC. But it's all a disaster that keeps blowing up in my face, no matter how hard I try to get things right.This is just so humiliating because I have no idea what the actual problem is. I have done events sporadically through Instawork and Qwick, mostly working buffet stations at holiday brunches. Never did plated dinner or any real waitressing before. Nonetheless, I got hired at a handful of catering/event companies around NYC. But it's all a disaster that keeps blowing up in my face, no matter how hard I try to get things right.

My first job was in April at a very high-profile luxury event space in lower Manhattan. I was offered a two week trial, and told that if I passed the trial and met their standards, they would buy me a uniform and I'd be an employee. I passed the trial and got the uniform, but then got fired a week later because "you aren't up to speed around here. You aren't getting the hang of things." They refused to offer me any specific feedback on anything I did wrong when I asked.

Yesterday, I had a shift at another high-end restaurant through a staffing company and got sent home an hour into my shift. I was never assigned a task, but I saw my teammates laying out glassware, so I joined them. And then they went to the closet to get rags to polish silverware. I followed them, but they grabbed all the rags and I was emptyhanded. The manager sees me without rags and asks, what are you doing? I tell her I'm helping the team. She then tells the captain to send me home. I asked the captain why I was going home, and she said, "don't worry about it. you'll book other shifts on other days." The next day, I'm informed that I have been removed from all other shifts at the restaurant: "It was observed that you were not actively engaging in your assigned responsibilities, and when approached, the tasks you indicated you were completing were not reflected in what was directly observed by the client."

I just feel helpless. I receive no training, no direction, no feedback, and am unsure of what to do like 40% of the time. It's like they just want you to jump in and figure out the right thing to do, and if it's not the right thing, they fire you without explanation rather than offering you correction. Also, whenever I ask for clarification, I am always met with aggression: "you should know what to do right now." "I shouldn't have to explain this to you." Once I was carrying out some bottles of wine onto the floor and a captain said, that's not how we carry the wine. When I asked him how he wanted it done, he said "it's not how I want it done. It's how it's done. You need to learn speak proper English." Another time I asked a maitre'd where the vacuums were, because I was told to vacuum during breakdown. He said, "go look for it." This was my first time ever vacuuming, and the penthouse was ENORMOUS. It would have taken me an hour to comb through every nook and cranny of the place, and I would have missed the whole task.

If I ask for direction or clarification, I'm bothering people with my stupidity and incompetence. If I try to guess what to do, I do the wrong thing. If I wait for instructions, I'm dawdling. If I look for something to join in on without being sure of what to do and offering to help, I get sent home because I look lost and like I'm doing nothing. It feels like my every move is wrong and I'm terrible no matter what I do. Is there any way that I can improve? I really, really need a flexible job that allows me to attend acting auditions, and I very much want to master this profession and be a good event waitress. But I don't know how to become better, because I never receive any feedback or direction. How do people learn to do this without being taught? Are some people just born with special telepathy skills and innate catering knowledge? I tried to apply for bussing/serving jobs at restaurants but those are very, very competitive and hard to get into.

Recently my company made a move to change the name of FOH and BOH to an alternative as they say that Back of House is a term left over from American chattel enslavement. Has anyone ever heard this? I hate using offensive terms if it's something I've been oblivious to years, but I have heard many other terms used for enslaved peoples that lived in the house and those that only worked in the fields and Back of House was never one. Thanks for any input. :-)