u/Life-Memory9880

This is a rant and likely a hill I’m on alone other than those in my lesson program haha.

I’m an instructor who’s made my “niche” the traumatized equestrian. A few years ago I went through a fall that put me out of the game for months both physically and mentally and in coming back I realized how little support there was for equestrians returning from trauma. The number of times I was told to just “get back on” and that I waited too long, or that I needed to just “get bigger than the fear” was depressing, frustrating and hard. Calling barns and explaining that I owned horses, was an accomplished rider, but I needed to take a walking lesson on a school master of theirs, preferably being lead around while I would likely have a panic attack - was humbling. I know now that I didn’t lack grit, I needed help to move past a very traumatic injury which would not have been fixed by just immediately getting on a horse. Months of trying to “just get on” did not fix it. And I now work very hard to be that bridge for clients.

I now work with a licensed therapist who work with my/our clients with EMDR in therapy (she’s an equestrian too) and then I work with them at the barn to get them confidently back on a horse. Even if it starts with them on a lead rope or just unmounted.
I get the intention behind the “get back on” saying, it’s one I too chanted for many years. If you fall, get back on immediately to prevent fear sounds great… for small falls. But we need to stop acting like this applies to all falls. Or if you DON’T get back on your recovery will be worse/you’ll never recover. And sure, for minor falls, dust off and get back on IF you feel comfortable. Waiting, getting yourself checked out, creating an atmosphere you feel safer in, etc is not a sign of weakness and I’m frankly tired of people making it sound like it is. Also, therapy. If you have a fall that’s making you panic on a horse, therapy absolutely is a good choice. I really do think we as an equestrian culture need to be better about addressing the trauma of falls. You can love the sport and also be scared. You can want it, but also need to wait or seek therapy to enjoy it again. You’re not gritty just because you got back on immediately. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s okay to not get back on right away and to question your sanity for a while as you fight your way back into the saddle.

Okay, my rant is over 😂 I was just today told by someone in sharing my reason for my lesson program that “it could all be avoided if you all just got right back on. It’s only hard because you waited”. Which genuinely makes my blood boil every time I get told it. Haha

No shocker, I’m also still dealing with outages. I have 4 feeders, 3 of them I got Sunday night so of course this outage happened like as soon as I got them. Two are completely skipping the schedule and then the one for my fat cat is spitting food almost every couple of hours and he’s absolutely loving this deal 🤣

I’d gotten one for my dog about 3 weeks before. I wanted to see how I liked and if my cats could get into it. For that entire period, it worked like a dream. Simple, exactly as advertised and she took to it so quickly and even my most creative cat couldn’t break in. So after almost a month I decided to get one for each cat, then boom, outage.

Realistically, how often do you all deal with these? Trying to decide if I should return or give some grace. I work in tech and know outages/bugs happen so fine with giving grace unless this is like something you all are regularly seeing.

Hello! Not sure this is the right community for this, but looking for any input. This last Friday we went to look for a kitten to adopt at our local shelter. We met an adorable kitten (3 months old) who looked pretty grimy. Wax in ears, a little stuff in eyes , smoker sounding voice, he’s a tuxedo cat and all his white hair looked slightly yellow, kinda slightly gross skin. Everyone else looked very healthy, this shelter is very well respected and well known in our area. We were assured he was just dirty, he’d been in quartile for 6 days and just released from it and he was healthy (as far as their check). We trusted them, adopted him that day, he was neutered Saturday and we brought him home. We booked an appointment with our vet for today.

We just got home from the vet (he’s still there) and learned he is VERY sick. Severe upper respiratory infection, eye infection, very wormy, some sort of fungal skin stuff, etc. treatment (not including check up) is going to cost over $1,600. We’ve had this cat for less than 48 hours so he certainly didn’t catch these in our care. Just want to confirm this is NOT normal, correct? We’ll be contacting the shelter although I’m sure they’ll just tell us tough darts. But I want to make sure that I’m not crazy for feeling peeved that we feel lied to. Sure, maybe we should have recognized something was wrong, but when multiple staff assure you that he’s just dirty and well checked out, we just trusted that

Hey all! For context I’ve been l doing a part lease on my horse for about a year and the guy who was doing the lease is moving. So I’ve offered my horse up for another part lease. He’s just a “for fun” horse and not fancy. But I’m reworking my prices and want to make sure this makes sense, since I have no idea how people are making up their lease numbers. For reference I’m in AZ

Horse:
- 10 year old Mustang, 14.3 hands
- super safe on trails and miles and miles of trails right off property.
- goes English or western, you can do trails or he’s schooled up to 2nd level dressage (but he’s not being offered to compete. They’re welcome to take dressage lessons on him from a trainer I approve though). He also does some liberty work and has worked cows but we don’t have any on our property haha.
- super easy and beginner friendly horse, I’d describe him as a confidence builder. Can go on trails alone or in a groups, voice trained and will pick up trot, canter or gallop very easy from voice or leg cue in or out of the arena. Doesn’t offer bucks ever.
- they can use my tack (English or western) and it is refitted 2x a year for him.

The deal:
This price is all in one. I basically took my yearly costs to keep his basic care (12 months of board, 12 months of supplements, farrier every 6 weeks, saddle fitter twice a year, body worker 4 times a year, equine dentist yearly, vet checkups, dewormer etc) and divided it by 12 to get the monthly cost of the horse and then divided that by 30 to get roughly how much it costs to keep him per day. This number comes out to roughly $21.60. The offer was two times a week, so 8 rides a month, which comes to $172.80 and i’m adding 10% ($17) just because, so it’s coming out to $190 a month for 8 rides. Which feels reasonable to me? That’s less than $25 a ride? Does this seem too high or low given the people interested will likely just be taking him for trails or practicing arena work since he’s just kinda a simple guy?

*** just a note I’ll put here. I’m an experienced owner, I teach lessons/have trained horses in the past so although I don’t have a trainer I’m working with at the moment, I have trainers I’m consulting, working with if needed, etc. this is not a training question. I also have a therapist, cognitive therapist, and take riding lessons to continue my own saddle confidence. This is JUST venting ***

Y’all, I hate those days it feels like I’d rather just throw in the towel and take up tennis or something. I don’t compete, but I was that kid that grew up on a ranch glued to a horse. As an adult I fought hard to stay close to horses. I’d ride anything with four hooves, take any opportunity to ride or learn, and self financed this sport all through college. Even as a young adult, I had the confidence of a rockstar despite my share of injuries, setbacks, and issues.

Almost 2 years ago was this massive turning point. The horse I love went down with me in a full gallop. Freak accident. He was totally fine, I was not. A concussion (ya girl passed out at least 5 times according to my riding buddy), dislocated shoulder that I also separated, internal bleeding, and a broken collar bone and a 30 minute walk to a point that emergency services could get me, ruined the whole thing. And I fought freakin hard to get back to riding. The renewed lessons, the setbacks, the therapy, the post traumatic OCD, the new brain post TBI, the cognitive therapy, etc.

And then there’s days like today where it just doesn’t feel worth it. That horses has sense passed and I have two different horses. A baby I’m laying the groundwork on and a 10 year old Mustang, and there are days where I truly don’t think I know if i’m still cut out for this. The bad brain days have made me reshape my life in many ways which is devastating when my 30 year old brain feels like getting to know someone new.

And man, my confidence dude. It’s just gone. I hopped on my Mustang bareback for a loop around the property, a horse I trust immensely. And the panic is just there. I have to repeatedly tell my self to freakin sink into my seat because I AM fine. But the insecurity despite doing everything “right” is so hard. Am I a good rider? Yes. Have I ridden a LOT of horses sense accident? Yes. But I miss that blind confidence in those skills and the lack of fear about hitting the ground.

And my dang baby horse today. Poor guy had a traumatic day Thursday that lead to HIS confidence being shaken and now the world is a spooky place today and he tried to run me over on a walk. He’s been such a groundwork/desensitizing rockstar so it’s hard seeing him be a snorty nervous guy today. And it’s just frustrating to deal with confidence issues (mine and his) sometimes. Do I know it will pass? Absolutely. But man. Some days it makes me cry in the car and wanna give up this whole thing.

Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for reading :) I know this is part of the horse experience and I’d never actually leave the sport. But some days it IS tempting haha.