Constant criticism
How do you deal with constant criticism and unwelcome advice?
My MIL is constantly criticizing everything. They recently came when I was 3-6 days post partum... it was awful. She cooked one pot of beans for herself from my pantry supplies but I cooked everything else. When she cooked the beans, she said she'd have to wash the pan first because it was so dirty (she at least admitted it just had some tough stains after attempting to clean it herself). She also said I held the baby too much. My 2 year old talks too much. My four year old eating blueberries for dessert will make him fat. I shouldn't sit with my older kids while they fall asleep. I need to wear head coverings to church. We need to go to a church that talks more about the different roles of women and men (our pastor just preached a Regular sermon that applies to both men and women... God forbid). We need to move to the suburbs. My husband shouldn't have to cook or do dishes ever (even when I just had a baby!!) Etc etc etc. It was the most awful postpartum visit ever.
My husband tries to talk to her weekly, which I encourage a little because I want him to keep a good relationship with his parents. She'll follow her tack of criticism with him too. In her last call, she told my husband that she can tell that I don't really like or love my kids. I was angry but not surprised that something so ridiculous came out of her mouth.
I guess I'm mostly ranting, but also want advice. How do i deal with this? I'm constantly walking on eggshells when around her, which thankfully isn't often, so I just keep my distance and let my husband handle his family. But is that enough? Should i ask him to distance himself more too? Have some other boundaries? Can I just zen my way through this next time I see them? I want to be respectful, but I'm having a hard time thinking about dealing with her again.