u/LilConscious

I had a 7 hour Saturday evening booking confirmed 10 days in advance, and the date had been repeated and reconfirmed multiple times in our messages. I obviously turned down other jobs for that block, drove over 30 minutes, and when I was about five minutes from their house, the parent called and said they had accidentally given me the wrong date and actually needed care the following week. They followed this with an apology and offering gas money, which felt deeply disrespectful and showed a lack of integrity and professionalism.

In every similar situation I’ve had before with cancellations this last minute, families have always paid the full confirmed booking or at least offered to because the cancellation was due to an error on their end, not because I failed to show up or provide care. I had reserved the entire evening and was essentially at their door when I was told to turn back around.

I work with reliability and integrity about honoring my booking, and never flake. Even if another family offers me a higher-paying job for the same hours, I never cancel an existing booking.

If the situation were reversed and I showed up saying I could only work half the confirmed hours because I’d made a scheduling mistake, I can’t imagine that being considered acceptable either.

Would you consider full payment the fair/professional expectation here? Curious how both childcare providers and parents would view/honor it.

I had a 7 hour Saturday evening booking confirmed 10 days in advance, and the date had been repeated and reconfirmed multiple times in our messages. I obviously turned down other jobs for that block, drove over 30 minutes, and when I was about five minutes from their house, the parent called and said they had accidentally given me the wrong date and actually needed care the following week. They followed this with an apology and offering gas money, which felt deeply disrespectful and showed a lack of integrity and professionalism.

In every similar situation I’ve had before with cancellations this last minute, families have always paid the full confirmed booking or at least offered to because the cancellation was due to an error on their end, not because I failed to show up or provide care. I had reserved the entire evening and was essentially at their door when I was told to turn back around.

I work with reliability and integrity about honoring my booking, and never flake. Even if another family offers me a higher-paying job for the same hours, I never cancel an existing booking.

If the situation were reversed and I showed up saying I could only work half the confirmed hours because I’d made a scheduling mistake, I can’t imagine that being considered acceptable either.

Would you consider full payment the fair/professional expectation here? Curious how both childcare providers and parents would view/honor it.

I’m considering a temporary 1 week long, full-day job, with two kids (4 y/o & 15 months), but one of the children will be at preschool for about 3 hours in the middle of the day (after I drop them off.) The family asked what my rates would be during the hours with both children and during the hours with 1 child.

I’ve personally never had a family split my hourly rate within the same booking based on one child being at school/activities for a few hours of the day, so the question caught me a little off guard.

For those of you who care for multiple children:
Do you usually keep one flat hourly rate for the entire scheduled day, or do you switch between a “one-child rate” and “two-child rate” depending on who is physically with you at that moment?

Also curious if parents here have ever structured care this way with a nanny/sitter, and what you consider normal.

For reference I’m in the Bay Area, 11+ years of experience.

Curious how other Bay Area/East Bay babysitters structure their rates for weekend/date-night care. My regular rate is $30-35/hr for 1-2 kids.

For something like 5:30-9 PM, I’d probably keep my normal rate, but for a 6-11 PM weekend booking I’m wondering if it’s common to charge a slightly higher hourly rate or add a flat late-night fee.

For those who do this regularly, what’s your normal rate vs. evening/late-night rate? Do you charge a late-night fee after a certain hour at night, or just keep the same rate regardless of time?

Thankful for all advice!

So I actually got a response a few hours after posting my last update:

“Hi xyz! We loved meeting you as well. We’ve found most people are charging $30/hr so that’s what we can offer you. Trials involve 1:1 interaction with the kids, which wasn’t the situation.”

Yep, this response really rubbed me the wrong way.

First of all, I don’t need a parent explaining to me what “most people are charging” as if childcare providers are interchangeable and we all come with the same experience, qualifications, and skill set.

I have 11+ years of childcare experience with every age group from newborns to teenagers, plus extensive experience with special-needs children; which is literally relevant to HER position. My rate is based on MY experience and the care I provide. If $32/hr is outside your budget, that’s completely fine. Say that and hire one of the “most people” charging $30. But don’t patronize me by explaining to me what my own labor should cost.

But the rate isn’t even the part that irritated me the most.

She asked me to come for what she said would just be a 30min-1 hour trial/meet & greet. During our initial call, I explicitly told her that I charge my base rate for trials/meet & greets. She knew that BEFORE I came.
Somehow, that 30min-1 hour meeting turned into almost TWO HOURS.

Two hours of interacting with both children, speaking extensively with both parents, answering question after question, learning their routines, discussing their needs, going through expectations, and getting a complete rundown of their household and childcare situation.

But apparently because Mommy and Daddy were physically present, my time magically stopped having monetary value.

What an incredibly convenient definition of “trial.”
If you genuinely believe a meet & greet doesn’t deserve compensation because I’m not providing “1:1 care” for your children, then maybe don’t keep me in your house for TWO FUCKING HOURS.

You don’t get to request 30 minutes of someone’s time, stretch it into nearly two hours, and then retroactively invent some technicality for why those two hours apparently don’t count as work or deserve compensation.

And that’s what I find so gross about this. I took two hours out of my Saturday for this family. I drove to their home. I specifically turned down another family because I had committed that time to them. I could have been actually working and getting paid instead of apparently donating my Saturday afternoon to people interviewing me.

At this point in my career, I know what my experience and time are worth. If I’m driving to your home and setting aside a significant portion of my day for a trial/meet & greet, especially one that stretches FAR beyond the agreed-upon time; I don’t think it’s remotely unreasonable to expect compensation when that was communicated beforehand.

And if you don’t want to compensate someone for a meet & greet? Great. Keep it to 20–30 minutes, shake hands, ask your questions, and let them leave. Don’t keep someone for almost two hours and then act confused when they expect to be paid after they already told you their policy beforehand.

Parents! Childcare providers are not volunteering for you. Our time doesn’t become worthless just because you found a creative semantic distinction between “trial,” “meet & greet,” and “1:1 interaction.”

Female-dominated labor is constantly treated like something people should provide out of kindness, passion, or the goodness of their hearts instead of an actual skilled service worthy of compensation. Childcare is one of the worst examples of it.

If my time is valuable enough for you to take two hours of it, it’s valuable enough for you to fucking pay for it.

Ps- Still wondering what should my reply be to her. I am all ears if you have suggestions.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Babysitting/s/oanapYwGq3

So I sent the mother a text the day after the trial about the decided hourly rate as well as the base rate that was discussed for the trial sitting (after listening to all the advice in the comments.)

And unfortunately, I have not gotten a response in over 28 hours. I am slightly peeved that they wouldn’t show the respect to compensate my time for the trial or even send me a reply. Even if the decided hourly rate didn’t work for them, I’d expect the courtesy to compensate my time for the trial as it was originally discussed it would be half an hour to an hour but I ended up staying there for over an hour & half.

Honestly, even a response would have sufficed but this just feels really disrespectful to me.

I just wanted to vent, thank you for reading.

- Peeved Caregiver

I had a trial sitting for a family today and they were great. We had done a 30 minute conversation a week before and decided on the trial sitting and the rates were asked and I said for the trial sitting I’ll just do my base rate and we can go from there, once I gauge what the role requires.

I had the trial today and everything was great, kids were great, parents were great. They gave me a rundown of everything and introduced me to the kids, routines etc. I was there for slightly over an hour & half. They confirmed they would love for me to help them on weekends and if I have an open schedule and for me to text them once I decide on an hourly rate for their role.

I was expecting the parent to ask me if I prefer cash/venmo etc for payment (for the trial) before I left or text me the same after I left. But I never received anything (yet.)

I’m wondering how you would navigate this situation? Do I sent them a text? I am planning on sending them a text about my schedule and decided rate but wondering if I mention payment for today.

Would appreciate any/all advice!! 😅

This is a friend that I rarely ever talk to, and only meet once every 2-3 years whenever I visit home and meet the whole group of friends (him included.)
We don’t talk or share about our lives at all, I have absolutely no idea what is going on in his and vice versa.

The only level of communication we have is a Snapchat streak that our whole group maintains with the random blurry picture sent once everyday to keep the streak going. (Childish I know but it’s our grown up way of saying “hey im alive” without attempting a full conversation)

Anyway, 2 nights ago I had a dream of him; where it was just the two of us talking and him really confiding in me that he is going through a really tough time in his life with struggling mental health and he had just broken up with this person he really loved, and was struggling with the heartbreak immensely. It was really vivid and painful.

I found the dream so odd because we know nothing about each other’s personal lives and do not talk enough to even create this dream sequence out of.

On a whim, in my next SC streak picture I told him that he was in my dream last night. He jokingly asked what the dream was and I told him the above description.

He laughed and asked if friend XYZ had told me about the situation. And I was startled because…no one told me anything…
I lowkey freaked out because I was not expecting it to be true. And when I told him that XYZ hadn’t told me anything, he freaked out too and was so shook up from how accurate and true the dream was.

We obviously had a good checking in conversation after that but both of us couldn’t shake off the chances of this happening so vividly and surreally.

I do believe that we’re all constantly exchanging energies and what goes up comes down; sometimes some of us are just the unexpected receivers.

So I’m just here to ask you guys, if this has ever happened to you or what to make of this?

What would you guys charge for sitting/pt nannying a 2.5 year old and an infant along with cleaning, laundry, tidying?

Curious as I’m new and not sure how to build my rates around this dynamic.

Edit: For reference I’m 27, have 10+ years of experience in childcare, from infants to teens. (Special needs/ASD (nonverbal) included)
I also have a degree and have the years of experience in early education/tutoring as well.

For reference this is an HCOL neighborhood in the Bay Area and although new here, I am already working with a few families and understand what the market price for childcare is (adjacent to cost of living obviously.)

This is a text I received from a parent who wanted to hire me for at least 3 Fridays a month. I have never babysat/nannied in a family where they have ever required me to do the whole family’s laundry/cleaning, let alone pay such an absurd rate for it.
For additional reference, my starting rate (12 years of childcare experience) is $25 for children over the age of 7-8 depending on the responsibilities.

The message from the parent was:

“So Fridays l'd need someone from 8-5. I work on Fridays only (sometimes I work half days during the week) those days are flexible and I can work around your schedule. But I primarily need someone who can commit to Fridays from 8-5.
Occasionally I'll have one Friday off every couple months... so it's not set and stone but I give you plenty heads up (about a month)
if I'm off.
My baby is almost 2. He's super easy peasy and the sweetest little thing. We do all the cooking and meal prep for him. He takes a 2.5-3hr nap daily. I'd like someone who can do our laundry and just basic light cleaning around the house while he sleeps... put everything away after he's done playing. (Pretty much leave the house as clean or cleaner than when you arrived).
Pay would be $25/hr. My husband works from home on Fridays and he stays in his office most of the day. Noise and sounds are not an issue... you guys can play and have fun as loud as you need, it won't bother my husband. We have plenty of outdoor space to play and a designated indoor playroom. There's really no need to have to drive him anywhere for entertainment so having a license or not is not a concern for us. I hope that answered your questions!”

Sitters & nannies (especially from Bay Area), how would you respond to this message? I am honestly baffled.