The scapegoat
It's difficult being Neurodivergent.. whether that's having Autism, ADHD or both [or any other "disability"] and living with a divided, dysfunctional and otherwise toxic/narcissistic family. I've always been the scapegoat in mine. I've always been pushed around, judged, laughed at, disrespected, belittled, etc, and called all sorts of things, even by people who aren't even related to me but who are still considered "family" [such as sister in laws, etc]. I've always been treated this way. What's worse is that they don't know the reason why I am the way I am, they don't think twice about what could be "wrong" with me. Instead, they'd rather resort to passive aggressive insults. I might be Neurodivergent. But I'm not stupid.. my brain might be wired differently, so I may process things and learn things differently [or even at a "slower" pace] but that doesn't equate to me being pathetic or worthless.. and when I finally stand up for myself, I get looked down upon as if I'm the bad guy or just a "crazy" person who "needs help".. after which, later on, they hit me with fake ass emotionally manipulative compliments and even backhanded compliments.. "You're not stupid. You have it in you. You're very intelligent.".. just for them to hit me next with, "God you're retarded. What a fucking idiot."... how do i feel even begin to deal with this type of mistreatment?
If only they knew how difficult it is for me to go through life with the way my brain as a Neurodivergent is wired.