u/LinzMouhanned

Three managers in two years. Team split, merged, then split again. My role has changed four times and I've always just adapted and taken on whatever needed doing.

Last week my skip-level asked where I wanted to be in two years.

I said, wherever I'm useful.

I meant it as a positive. They paused and then said, pretty kindly, I don't think I've ever heard you ask for anything.

That has been bothering me ever since because they're right.

I've gotten so good at adapting to whatever the company needs that I genuinely don't know what I want anymore. If you put all four versions of my job in front of me and told me to choose one, I'm not sure I could.

Meanwhile, two people around me have moved up. I don't think they're necessarily better at the work. They just seem to know what they want to move toward and I can't.

Not looking for believe in yourself advice. Something real that has actually helped.

Had one last week I keep coming back to.

Strong candidate. Good background, easy to talk to, would have moved quickly. I asked what they're looking for next and got about forty seconds of nothing, then, somewhere I can grow. Asked what grow meant and got a job title one rung above the one they have.

That's most of my calls now. Silence, or a title.

I can work with the things people don't want, that's usually the most useful part of the call. But I can't build a shortlist off. somewhere I can grow and I certainly can't put it in front of a client.

Ten years ago I'd have said people didn't know themselves well enough. That isn't it. They know themselves fine. They just can't turn any of it into a job I could go and find.

It costs me directly, because a call that stalls there is a call I have to run again, and half the time they've gone quiet before the second one.

For people doing a lot of intake: how are you actually getting a usable answer out of that question. Or have you stopped asking it.