u/ListenNorthernLights

Part of the issue is that my account is new.

But another thing is that even after reading a subreddits rules supposedly my content isn’t valuable enough to meet its criteria according to their mods.

I have had a lot of confidence in being able to read a room/ read a person you know I feel like I’m not lacking in comprehension generally, but the first time I’m trying to do something with my comprehension and the way I see things I’m getting walled and smacking my head into it every time I try making my first step forward…

I feel like I’m missing something and I don’t know what it is, there’s maybe just something outside of my comprehension I’ll never be able to see. But am I lacking to the point that my story itself isn’t relatable enough to anyone for it to be worth writing down?

If not that’s totally fine I do have other things I could spend my time on… but like finding my rare audience that can hear and see me the right way and actually thinks the words coming out of my mouth as being valuable would be nice too…

I’ve been applauded before in speech like settings where an old man once came up to me and said “that’s the best I’ve heard in 10 years”

Or in a class like setting where the instructor applauds me being able to capture the meaning of the whole hour in just a quick couple sentence concise phrasing of mine.

But on the other hand my words don’t bring me close to many friends, and usually I’m just a listener through life, I can’t ever be “the life of the party”.

And is this a ramble or a valuable chain of thought? I don’t even know, maybe I should just continue keeping notes to myself and then when I become the product I’ve become nobody needs to know why I am the way I am….

Here’s to another removed post cheers 🥂

Edit: Hate to say I love the brutal responses. I just needed the validation Rambling lacks value. The point of writing is to sift out meaning from the chaos, and if the writing is as chaotic as real life there’s no point to reading it. I thought I did a fair amount of sifting but sounds like the juicy details aren’t that flavorable, and I got to toss more junk out. With Non-fiction it’s a little more brutal because I literally have to say memories that once meant a lot to me are not a valuable part of my narrative. And I do think I might be falling into a trap of trying to be whiny for attention, just another boo-woo post. Maybe I’ll shut it down for a while and have something more cohesive to say about it a few years from now.