u/LitheVirus

I (f/33) just ended a 10-year relationship with my girlfriend (f/35).

On paper, she is incredible: beautiful, funny, and smart. We match on everything important. When we hang out, even 10 years in, we have the most incredible time together and everything just works. I truly believe we had a future.

However, for the past 10 years, I have had to compromise on so much.

We never moved in together because she recently bought/started building a house for her ageing mother to live in, and she has spent the past few years building, sorting, and settling her mother in.

We were only able to see each other once a week at most. The majority of this time was with friends or family, and never just us. This was due to busy work schedules and a lot of work and family commitments on her end.

We never travelled. Mostly due to financial stress (like building the house). She told me I should travel, but I said I wanted to with her, and I would wait.

I was never fully introduced to her family until the past two or so years. This was because of their highly religious background and them not being accepting of her lifestyle. However, in the past two years, we made huge steps forward as I was introduced to many of her family members. I ended up hanging out there a bit more just to see her and make friends with her mum. However, I never stayed as much as she hoped. I think I struggled with feeling fully welcomed.

She rarely stayed at mine. We lived 50 minutes away from each other, but because of her early commitments, she would always make the trek back home. We had no option to stay at her place due to the previous point. She stayed over so rarely that when she did stay, she struggled to sleep.

We talked about marriage and kids a lot. We planned the future. But I just kept waiting, and it never came. So, I left.

I have no doubt that she was never unfaithful or trying to cover things up. I believe she was constantly overwhelmed by her circumstances.

I'm heartbroken because the potential was there. I'm mourning the life we could have had. I know we could have gotten there; I just couldn't wait any longer.

And I'm struggling with the feelings that maybe I just gave up on someone incredible who was trying and was just a victim of circumstance.

I (f/33) just ended a 10-year relationship with my girlfriend (f/35).

On paper, she is incredible: beautiful, funny, and smart. We match on everything important. When we hang out, even 10 years in, we have the most incredible time together and everything just works. I truly believe we had a future.

However, for the past 10 years, I have had to compromise on so much.

We never moved in together because she recently bought a house for her ageing mother to live in, and she has spent the past few years building, sorting, and settling her mother in.

We were only able to see each other once a week at most. The majority of this time was with friends or family, and never just us. This was due to busy work schedules and a lot of work and family commitments on her end.

We never travelled. Mostly due to financial stress (like building the house). She told me I should travel, but I said I wanted to with her, and I would wait.

I was never fully introduced to her family until the past two or so years. This was because of their highly religious background and them not being accepting of her lifestyle. However, in the past two years, we made huge steps forward as I was introduced to many of her family members. I ended up hanging out there a bit more just to see her and make friends with her mum. However, I never stayed as much as she hoped. I think I struggled with feeling fully welcomed.

She rarely stayed at mine. We lived 50 minutes away from each other, but because of her early commitments, she would always make the trek back home. We had no option to stay at her place due to the previous point. She stayed over so rarely that when she did stay, she struggled to sleep.

We talked about marriage and kids a lot. We planned the future. But I just kept waiting, and it never came. So, I left.

I have no doubt that she was never unfaithful or trying to cover things up. I believe she was constantly overwhelmed by her circumstances.

I'm heartbroken because the potential was there. I'm mourning the life we could have had. I know we could have gotten there; I just couldn't wait any longer.

And I'm struggling with the feelings that maybe I just gave up on someone incredible who was trying and was just a victim of circumstance.