u/Livid_Lie_783

Just my opinion.

About a year ago, I was becoming irregular at the meetings. (For context, I'm a 50-year old widow whose husband was an elder. When he died 4 years ago, everyone began to ignore/neglect me. It has been hell. The way I was treated gave me permission to start questioning.)

It took two years after my husband's death for me to start doing Bible research to prove that JW understanding of 1 Thess 5:3 was wrong. Everything crumbled from there. About 9 months after I submitted my thorough research (in good faith, because I thought I was really onto something) to a local elder, an article came out, addressing my research (coincidence?). They doubled down on their own message, discrediting my research. A few months later, another article saying "we don't know" when the peace and security thing will happen. That was it. I had since learned about the CSA in Australia, I had read Crisis of Conscience, and then I read Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan. I was mentally done.

That was almost a year ago. I had already been on Zoom a lot, since being at the meetings was traumatic for me (doing it without my husband became unmanageable. I always had to sit in the back room or the bathroom, due to PTSD/anxiety issues). I used this opportunity to successfully fade, and no one ever contacts me now. There are literally only two or three that check in sometimes from other congregations, and when they've asked, I tell them I'm inactive. At the same time, I tell them I'm okay, I'm figuring things out.

But my family is another story. I cannot quite admit it to them. Soon, though. In a month or so it will be a year since my last meeting. I think they know that I'm "weak" and they have been concerned, but when I've encouraged others that, despite being inactive, that I'm actually doing okay, they're genuinely confused. I assure them that I still pray and that "me and Jehovah are good."

The mental struggle, though. How to word things so carefully so you don't get them thinking you need to be disfellowshipped???? That GB is evil, and I really have to control myself around my family, that I don't get even close to criticizing them. I imagine what it would be like to be DF'd or DA myself, but I can't do that to my family. Or even my friends. These brothers and sisters are innocent. They're just doing what they've been trained to think and say. I want to frame things so that if they ever question things, too, I can be there for them.

For those who faded: has this gone similarly for you?

On social media, my algo is showing a lot of people of diverse (especially evangelical Christian) religions who are ALL deconstructing. Many will pick apart their particular church or pastor and point out the hypocrisy.

In the US, I believe this is largely thanks to Christian Nationalism, which has reached an absolute fever pitch in its claims to follow Christ, but with the worst, "Thank you God, that I'm not like the other sinners" attitude, as well as proving falsely to their claims of faith - (oh no, the dreaded em dash! Believe me, I don't use a.i.) namely, the mistreatment of foreigners, and their blind belief in an orange pissbucket savior.

Those who are leaving their churches are complaining of the same sorts of things JWs do. A friend of mine says, "It's all the same religion. We just believed a different flavor. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, rocky road, They're just different versions of the same thing. Some more strict, but the same goals: control people and get their money." I'm seeing her point every day in this sub.

That is not to diminish or invalidate your story. But the fact that it's happening in other religions? Very interesting. A mass exodus that leads to... what?