u/Lobel1a

Parent of 3rd grader here. My kiddo is doing state testing for the first time and really struggling. She has ADHD and a 504 for accommodations. She gets extended time and a separate testing location as two of her accommodations already, but this is our first time going through state testing with her so not really sure how to approach it as a whole. I can give more background/specifics around her struggles if it’s helpful, but trying to keep it concise for now.

On the one hand, do I exempt her from state testing? It’s causing her stress, and of course increases strain on the teachers to manage her dysregulation due to the stress. I know state testing can provide a baseline of knowledge, but we already know she’s behind and we’re taking strides to get her caught up. I know it affects funding and such, but is forcing her through it worth it? It doesn’t affect her ability to move on to the next grade, so why bother even suffering through it?

On the other hand, everyone else does state testing, right? Suck it up kid and deal with it because it’s just part of life. She’ll gain experience in how testing goes which will become more important as she gets older. It does provide that baseline for parents, teachers, and the district. It’s just something that is expected of everyone, and there’s no specific reason she should be allowed the easy way out. She’s very bright and eventually gets it, it just takes her way longer and many breakdowns along the way.

I feel like a horrible parent both ways. Letting her get away with taking the easy way out and not have to deal with life frustrations on one hand which doesn’t help her in the long term, but making her life miserable for no real actual reason on the other hand. Is this a battle I fight or do I throw the towel in?

The school has been utterly helpless in this situation. They support my decision either way and are not pressuring me in one way or the other. Which I guess is a good thing, but it is not helping me figure out which decision is the best one in this scenario???

PS - This is for state testing only. Obviously if it’s a test/quiz that affects her grade, she is completing it, with her accommodations, and we support her in any way we can. This is specifically around state testing because it doesn’t affect her grade so I’m just wondering if this is the battle I want to fight or just give up on this one specifically.

I’m really struggling with finding a good routine for after school with my older elementary kiddos. The 10yo stopped played with toys this year 😭 and the 8yo has gotten bored without someone to play with so has also stopped playing toys. I work from home so I need ~2hr after school to wrap up while they keep themselves entertained. I don’t want to resort to screens because they need to decompress from school, but any kind of activity tends to stress them out when they’ve just gotten home. Too fidgety to read. Too easily irritated by art or any kind of craft. Too tired to play outside. Cant nap. Most days they wind up in tears getting overwhelmed from one of those options. They only really handle it well if they veg out to some tv, but then that negatively impacts their mood/attitude later in the day. How do you handle those after school moments without the break downs?