u/Local-Pattern795

I haven't seen the sun in 77 chapters; Columns upon columns of papers block the doors and windows. The ink fumes are making me lightheaded.

Please, for the love of god... if you see this, send book burners !

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Personally i consider an article to be ragebait if it raises an issue without explaining the mechanism behind it. So someone talking about law and order without ever addressing what the law says, for example.

However I understand that this is a very high standard to have nowadays.

I've noticed a few subreddits where people post bookshelves. This seemed odd to me because redditors can't read.

But maybe that's just it: you can buy a book without ever reading it.

Think about it. A book tells other people that you are smart, that you are well read. It can have interesting titles like "a dance of toads" that sounds cool when you reference it. Sometimes they even have nice romantic pictures on the front.

And in a world of AI chatbots and social media osmosis, no one can prove you haven't read the books, because you've filled your pockets with AI synopses.

So instead of writing a book for readers, do it for interior decorators. Do it for the pretentious and the intellectually insecure. Do it for all of us, for everyone who can't read.

This message was dictated by the illiterates for America foundation.

Before you make your judgement, know that I have a severe disability which means I can't do any work without sweating.

So all that being said, here's my writing process:

First, I go to my writing plantation, where I shackle some writers to a writing desk. I tell them the idea I want them to write, I whip them into writing, and then whenever I don't like what they wrote I'd whip them some more.

But of course, having the right sort of slave is important too, which is why I have spent years breeding special writer slaves instead of writing.

After the first draft is done, my work begins: i pick up the bloody manuscript, wash it off, and edit it via a second slave.

That's how, after a long day of slaving and whipping, I manage to write my books.

Which brings me to my point: should i have to disclose that my books are written using slaves, or should a man be free to sell his work without worrying about moralists literally murdering him over such a silly issue as slavery? should i really be expected to offer my proverbial neck to the John Browns of the world by disclosing that I used a little slavery?

Stand strong my brothers, one day we will be free from this persecution. As a wise man once said: I have a dream!

Mine is ~ , that sexy snake knows exactly what it's doing

A human writer who uses AI to write her stories - fanfiction and originals with no intention - of publishing.

I been writing since the early 2000s - due to heavy gooning - I no longer had the time to do what I was freely able to - when I was a teen/young adult. So I'm very deeply and intimately familiar with the struggles and joys of writing before AI.

Naturally when AI first came into the field - I was aghast - how dare a machine create something so easily while I have ideas. As you would expect - this had made me a hard-core anti-ai for a couple of months.

Then - I became curious.

Tried out a prompt - it spat out something interesting and that started my journey of using AI. And let me just say - in the hands of a human writer - AI is an amazing tool to have and not for the grammar and editing.

Just as I had done before - I still heavily invest my time building up my OC donut steele - deeply detail my outlines - everything that comes to creating a story from the foundation up. The only thing AI does for me is write it - because hello - it saves me a heck of a lot of time! Even then - this part is heavily guided - focusing scenes by scenes vs a whole chapter because I still need to be involved steering this machine.

The only reason "ai slop" exists is mostly due that it comes from those who likely never written anything before - basically copying and pasting without the editing.

What's funny is that even with AI - I can't even complete a story because ideas keep popping up 🤣

For months now, I have been unable to continue writing my seven hundred thousand page fantasy novel. Every day, I have sat in front of my typewriter (like my favourite author), unable to type because I am a GenZ millennial .

I tried moving over to a computer, but that didn't help much. So far I have written "the", but I don't know what it means. Sounds good, though.

The advice I found online didn't help either. I had yet to use an adverb, and the very concept frightened me to my core. I couldn't open other books and read them because I was a millennial. It all felt pointless to me, and I soon drifted into a laudanum haze (like my favourite author in his later years).

That was when I found it, the solution to all my woes. An astral projection approached me as I wandered Hyperboria.

"KILL YOUR DARLINGS!" came its decree, heavy as a tiger on a french bridge.

I awoke energised. And yet it seemed too late, as my wife-cousin (much like my favourite author's) had fled in the night. She'd written me a note, something about a job, but I couldn't read it.

Today, after months of tracking, of stalking, and of murderous wiki hows, I have finally found her. I know the location well enough, as she had invited me here in the past to meet her parents. Clever girl, choosing such a cryptic location.

The parents will be in the house. I'd liked them on our first meeting, so I suppose I'll have to kill them too. I'll try to make it quick; a single blow from my typewriter should do it.

Soon enough, I will finally kill my darlings

Which brings me to my point. Will they let me write in prison (like my favourite author), And if so, what should i write about ?

For a few decades now, I've been using AI to write my books for me. Some may think that means I'm not a writer, but don't judge me until you understand my process.

I naturally start by asking the AI to write a chapter of my latest fairy porn novel. But afterwards I start tweaking. Once the high wears off I start editing what the AI wrote, deleting paragraphs and telling it to do it again. Sometimes i even change the words manually because they are too complicated (who uses verbose?)

AI doesn't make slop for me, it makes art, and you want to know why I'm built different? It's because we love each other. Love is what makes AI slop into AI art.

Maybe if your hearts weren't filled with such hate, you could appreciate and use AI. But instead you goon to human-slop on tiktok, disgusting.

AI isn't just a tool, it's a love interest -- and we are the heroes of our own story

I was told that ideas are a dime a dozen, so i decided to get all my ideas from the writing prompts subreddit.

At first, everything was fine: i wrote a punchy diatribe about how vampires abuse their "cattle" (#veganfantasysexwithscaryvampire); i created a character who acts like a sweet wholesome chungus but is also capable of righteous anger (I really need to make a TVtropes page for this new absolute banger of a concept); hell, i even did a wacky piece about what if, get this, fiction was real. just try and wrap your head around how absolutely hilarious and wacky it would be for scooby to pay taxes!

But that's when i noticed the change. I was writing a fantasy scene, but upon rereading it i realised it wasn't fantasy at all. It didn't matter what I was writing, be it fantasy, scifi, or thriller; The outcome was always the same:

All of my scenes now resemble a college campus, and all the dialogue looks like a debate between charlie kirk and Anita Sarkeesian.

I never used to say dude, people always told me i spoke in an antiquated way. Now i can't even imagine a world that isn't literally the year 2026.

And i hear it when i sleep, the constant sanctimonious arguments i keep winning in my head.

I can't keep writing, i can't inflict this self aggrandising paper-debate on another human soul. I'm ending it all today; I am going to dissolve my own sense of self via the following writing prompt:

"You are a tree outside of a small medieval village, that has and will witness hundreds of years of human triumph and despair. Yet as a tree, you do not have thoughts on any of it"

Goodbye cruel world, i fear the end is right behind me, isn't it.

Hi reddit, I've hit a bit of a snag in my writing today.

So far, my hero, a handsome well spoken country bumpkin, has defeated the evil dark lord of darktopia. The villain is on his knees (in a non sexual way) and... well that's as far as I've gotten.

I don't want the hero to just kill him, because I want to subvert expectations; I don't want the hero to spare him, because it's unrealistic for a villain to get away with his crimes.

My idea currently is as follows: the hero turns his back on the villainous dark lord, seemingly not expecting him to try and stab him in the back (😱!!!). But there's a twist, because suddenly a great rumbling is heard, coming straight from the hero's booty-tight pants.

He had taken laxatives the previous morning, enough to shit out a dead horse.

So before the backstab can happen, a muddy stream of waste surges forth from the protagonist's rear, dragging the villain down into the sewers, never to be seen again in the current installment.

So my main question for you guys is : how do you usually describe a potent yet watery flow of shit stampeding out of a man's ass with the strength of a gale and the potency of my local priest?

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Hi reddit, so a few days ago i started writing my original premise for a dark fantasy story.

Ok, so our hero, who's a young princess who doesn't like being rich and powerful and famous, who is also a witch with a banging body, is unhappy. One day, she runs away from her palace and her servants, but then she bumps into the old dark lord (who her parents supposedly defeated long ago). But oh no, he's hot!

Yesterday, my mum, who's really supportive and says my writing is hot, asked me what my story premise was. Naturally i told her the entirety of it , and even showed her my world building diary.

That's when i heard it, australian laughter behind me. I turned beautifully, and saw a neckbeard in a red gambeson with a longsword -- and he was pointing his great big weapon right at my mouth!

"Mum, you need to run now! It's the mormons!" I ejaculated as the man unsheathed his blade.

Then i heard more laughing behind me. It wasn't my mum, but a voice i recognised all too well: Brandon Motherfucking Sanderson.

" thanks for your original premise, my dear," he said without a hint of shame, "but now I'm afraid you've outlived your usefulness".

"You, you're nothing but villains!" i cried out in furious rapture.

The fat nerd in red chuckled. "In my story, the villains become the heros". He chuckled again. "What good is a writer without an original premise?"

Then it happened, he started narrating how his sword would swing through the air towards me. Twenty minutes later, the blow connected, tearing apart my neck like a scarlet handkerchief.

As i slumped to the floor, i heard the two of them talking over my now-emptying body. I couldn't understand what they were saying, because they were talking in mormon. Then Brandon stepped closer to my corpse, over the shit and piss I had liberally leaked.

"Don't worry, my dear," he cooed villainously. "I said you'd outlived your usefulness, but that doesn't mean this is your end"

He chanted something dark and sinister, like a Detroit hitchhiker.

That was how i died and was reborn as a ghost, forced to toil away in their horrid idea mines alongside all the other damned souls they'd killed.

Yours posthumously,

Ghost_writer_13

"Scifi YA novel, girl struggles to become a star pilot"

I’ve been struggling for a few days to find a story idea that feels NEW and FRESH and BOOK DEFINING, so when I thought this badboy up I was pretty stoked. Currently in the process of being a YA struggling to become a pilot… Imagine my surprise when Sanderson breaks and into my house, beats me black and blue, and steals my unique premise. The worst part was, before leaving he said "thanks for doing 90% of the work for me", and then he flipped me off! 🤦‍♀️.

I 19M am looking to write an epic 200000 word dark fantasy series, this will be my first time writing words so im kinda unsure of how to proceed. Ive planned a trilogy in five parts so far but it could extend because of the multi-third-person-pov-structure (TM) im planning on using. I dont have anyone irl i can share the details with because no one here reads good.

I already have most of it ready: I know where the plot is going to end, have a 300 page interaction map of how the power system works, I've refined the concept in my head a few times, and so far i have 67 major pov characters.

I havent done an amazing job on the premise just yet but heres everything I've written down so far

MC number 34 (placeholder name) daughter of House Valorous (valiant knights), is drafted into the Red Stone, a league of crafty assassins and framed for a crime she didn't commit. Driven into the brooding darkness, she assasinates lies in her hunt for the truth, going far beyond the walls of Gildedburg. As she closes in, the conspiracy reveals itself with blocks all across the world — beings from The Nether find their way to the overworld, and life itself begins to fade.

This is just a small snippet of the wider story, as she will be just one of the 67 primary characters we'll be following across 300000 words worth of novels.

I think the intro itself brings a question: she's a rich girl, but she's gone to far, and she knows it won't matter anyway. Can she rely on the old man's money?

That being said i have a number of major plot occurrences including strong characters and exciting twists and turns.

Instead of supporting my 500000 word first time magnum opus, people have said I should write something shorter first. This sort of advice isn't what i come to reddit for, so please try to encourage me.

This is something i need to write, because the basic idea has been swilling around in my head for a year or two.

Edit: the world its based on will be entirely original

With that in mind, heres what I've got so far

-characters with emotions making meaningful decisions.

- A map.

- scenes.

- a power system with flaws and costs with psychological impact with 2 major branches, elemental and alchemical

- decisions with consequences.

Im trying to write good with no plot holes because if theres one thing that puts me off in a story, it's bad writing with plot holes . I feel like writing good is hard but necessary

Any supportive questions and opinions are welcome in the comments

Thank you

So I've been trying to write a novel about some soldiers during world war one (or WW1 if you're the knowing sort). I want to market the book to GenZ because it's something they've never heard of; Novelty is at the heart of novels, after all.

Progress had been good, and i had just begun writing the scene with the sniper. One man has been intentionally shot in the leg, but he knows he's being used as bait, so he begs his fellow soldiers to put him down like a wounded animal (because war makes animals of us all).

Here's the snag, i was going to write the soldier that executes him as being sad, jaded, and traumatised. But how do i know that's how I'd feel in that position? I can't write something that is inauthentic to myself, readers will know. What if I felt glee at killing someone without being ordered to do so, a sort of rebellious whimsy at taking a life for myself? I just don't know.

How can i write about war when I have never seen a man die. I've never gotten to witness a man lose a limb, never enjoyed watching him break down under the weight of his unfulfillable masculine duties, never led him to end it all. I've written about men's heads exploding from a direct shot to the brainpan, but I've never had the pleasure of seeing it with my own eyes.

When I'm writing this story, am I truly an author, or am I merely a fraud?

I've heard of other countries at war -- in this day and age, i know right? -- although I'm not very political (that's one of the reason i wanted to write about WW1 and not WW2, WW2 is far too nuanced for my tastes). If i ask nicely, will they send me to the worst of the fighting?

I think to become better at writing, i need to see the life drain from someone's eyes. Any assistance would be much appreciated.

Yours sincerely,

TedBundy_officialnovelist

So I've been married for a few years now, but i guess you learn new things about your partner everyday.

It all began as we were coupling. You see, usually she'd scream my name as she boobed breastily on the bed, but this time she instead ejaculated "oh yes, put your wand in my chamber of secrets, harry potter".

Afterwards we talked a bit, and then she showed me the account on which she wrote fanfic. I won't be sharing the details with you perverts, but there was a lot of it, and it was disturbing.

For one thing, she chose to write fanfiction for the most basic works out there: harry potter, hunger games, jeff the killer. I could understand house of leaves fanfic, where the shaft was bigger on the inside, but this was just rubbish. Harry potter didn't even use magic during the act, he could have been any other teenage boy.

Worse still, she genuinely is terrible at "show, don't tell". This makes me sad and ashamed, but I know she is proud of her work. I am shocked!

And the sex, the sex!!! It's terrible, uninspired, and emotionally flat. But the thing is, our real sex is great, groundshaking, even word spewing! She told me she had to dumb down her sex scenes because most of her readers are virgins.

So all in all, I'm at a loss on how to help my wife improve. Does anyone here have any advice on how to help her? I myself have written a plethora of cuckold fanfiction, and i still can't find a solution.

Thank you for your thoughts on my wife.

Yours sincerely,

Cuckoldwriter67

I am an excellent emailer.

When I send off letters to businesses, they always answer with "thank you for your interest". That's right, I'm interesting!

When I send an email to the president, he personally answers it, we're practically letter mates!

And yes, I do know the difference between using "yours sincerely" and "yours cordially", because you should only use the second one while drinking.

Anyway, do you people think i have what it takes to branch out into non-professional writing?

Yours very cordially,

BestEmailerEver69